This is what I get for leaving my tabs open for my older sister to find. Everything in italics are mine and the normal print is my sister. She's so weird, but you gotta love her! I don't own the cover image!
When the girls woke up, Levy was gone. They stormed into the boys room, but they didn't know where she was either. It took all morning, but eventually Gajeel found her, sitting at a small cafe, reading a book.
…..
Of course she was. He stormed up to her and slammed his hand onto the table, scaring a few passerbyes in the process.
"Where have you been? All of us have been worried sick and looking for you all morning." Gajeel scowled. Levy didn't even look up from her book.
"I've been here. Reading. I wanted to read somewhere quiet," She emphasized quiet. "because I knew I'd never read in peace around you guys. I sent you and Lucy a text." Gajeel checked his phone. Sure enough, one new message. Levy finally looked up from her book. She deadpanned. "You didn't even check your phone?" Sighing, Levy closed her book and stood up, totally undeterred by the difference in size. She pointed a finger at his chest.
"Stupid people can not notice a message. But only a select few idiots can walk around all morning without checking his phone. You can't storm in here saying its my fault you were an idiot. Just leave me alone, ok?" She walked away, leaving a dumbstruck Gajeel staring at the place her finger had touched his chest.
Levy walked until she almost ran into multiple people, then she decided she'd better get her head out of the clouds. She found a bench on the outskirts of a nearby park, and opened her book again, getting completely engrossed in the romantic love story.
"Wow I wish I had this romantic love story to have in my life with that hottie mchottie with the face piercing and weird hair," Levy sighed and closed the book, flinging it dramatically into a pond somewhere. "Gosh and golly. Maybe if I hadn't acted like a little brat when Gajeel came here worried about me we could be madly in love."
"Don't worry, Levy," A strange blue cat with wings suddenly showed up with some Chinese food. "I still love you! There's still hope for you!"
"SHUT UP SAPPY," Levy yelled and threw the chinese food in the cat's face, soy sauce and pad thai being thrown into the air. "YOU'RE SO FREAKING WEIRD! BAKA!"
"My name is Happy…..!" Happy/Sappy wailed as he was tossed into the distance like the nyan cat except without the poptarts.
Levy went back to moping, little bits of sweet and sour chicken raining around her.
"Hey, Levy!"
Levy looked up and gasped. "Iron Man? Captain America?"
The red and gold armor shone brightly in the sunlight, and Iron Man saluted Levy as rockets were fired in the distance and his theme song played. Captain America was much more subtle, his red white and blue outfit sparkling patriotically while a flag rippled in the background and trumpets blared the sweet sound of freedom. (Even though there was no America in Fairy Tail land, Levy knew who these guys were. Everyone did. Duh.)
The moment was broken by the Chinese food still falling from the sky. Iron Man laughed heartily as a noodle hit his helmet. "Hey, it rains Chinese food here! This place is great!"
"Are you Levy?" Captain America asked, stepping forward. The sunlight bounced off of his perfect white teeth and the resulting white color caused a nearby bird to be blinded. It died, and flowers grew on the ground on which it fell.
"But what are you doing here?" Levy stood up, looking at the superheroes with wide eyes. "You aren't supposed to be real!"
"Neither are you!" Iron Man exclaimed. "You're some weird anime character on this show that only weirdos watch!"
"I take great offense to that." the blue-haired girl frowned as freaky humanoid people and flying cats ran around behind her. "My world is totally normal."
"Iron Man don't be rude," Captain America said sternly. "For all we know, we might be… comic book characters in this world or something."
"Who would want to read a comic about you, old man?" Iron Man waved his hand dismissively. "It would just be page after page of you helping old ladies across the street and rescuing kittens from trees and buying ice cream for crying children."
"Okay, seriously, what are you guys doing here?" Levy shouted in an freakishly loud and high pitched voice (actually, that was her normal voice, but thats what it sounded like to the superheroes). "Explain!"
"We were on a mission to Asgard and somehow entered a wormhole," Iron Man said. "I'm pretty sure that if I took my extensive lessons in quantum physics and applied string theory and did some advance neurotechnological mathematical equations and maybe stimulated the hypocenter of the hippocampus section of the neural brain center I might be able to conclude that we plausibly jumped from bi-dimensional existences into a hypothetical reality of immense alter-proportions because the vascular rays of the black hole manipulated the quantum center of our automotive transport Quinjet. We could also possibly replicate the procedure with said Quinjet."
"We were flying in outer space and fell into a blackhole which made our spaceship crash here, in another universe." Captain translated. "And basically everything is screwy."
"Which is why we need your help!" Iron Man rose to his full height, gleaming majestically. "The over enthusiastic and strange hair-ed character who can barely fend for herself always ends up the main character in weird fanfictions like these! Also, we need your love interest so the two of you can get together by the end!"
"Oh," Levy said. "Okay. But you guys look too normal to fit in here. Take off your masks."
Iron Man removed his helmet. Brunette hair waved in the wind and sparkles flew from his chocolate colored eyes as he gave a charming and sexy grin for the world to see. Several passing women screamed at his devilishly good looks and all were overwhelmed with the desire to bear his children, and promptly passed out on the sidewalk. Iron Man, no, Tony Stark gave a wink.
Captain America removed his mask. His blonde hair gently rippled in the breeze and sunshine itself bent around him as he smiled sweetly and gentlemanly. Flowers bloomed at his feet and kittens rolled in the grass as a second group of women fainted merely from the sight of his gorgeousness. Captain America, no, Steve Rogers gave a sheepish grin.
Levy was unmoved. She already had a man. But wait, she had been such an evil brat to him earlier! What had she done? Levy examined the two fine specimens of the male gender speculatively. Maybe she could simply settle for one of them instead…
But Tony looked towards Steve and the two shared a glance that spoke of rainbows and fabulousness- and Levy knew that they were players of a different team.
"BAKAS!" Levy screamed. "HOW CAN TWO SUCH PERFECT MEN BE SCREWING EACH OTHER INSTEAD OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN?"
Steve looked shocked, scandalized even- not because Levy accused him of having sex (he had lots and lots and lots of sex with Tony, like, lots and lots of GREAT sex ), but because she used the word "screwing". How vulgar.
Tony rolled his eyes. "What could be sexier than two beautiful men having sex?"
"This isn't a yaoi anime!" Levy scowled. "But… I guess it could be sexy."
Tony grinned. "I know, right? Look at that ass."
He slapped Steve's butt and the other gasped in surprise, jumping. Normally the wrath of hell would rain down on anyone who dared violate the innocence of such a perfect man, but Steve loved him, and therefore God protected the genius billionaire.
Levy was astounded by their gayness, but Gajeel chose this moment to run over the hill shouting his love. Sunlight bloomed around him and make him look gorgeous. Kind of gay, but gorgeous.
"Levy! I'm sorry that I was perfectly reasonable earlier!" He shouted, grabbing her hands. "You totally blew the fact that I didn't check my phone out of proportion but I'm so completely infatuated with you that I will forget all about it!"
"I love you, Gajeel…" Levy said, tearing up.
"I love you too, Levy." Gajeel said, also tearing up.
"I love you, Steve," Tony said, taking Steve's hand.
"I love you too Tony," Steve said, squeezing it.
Everything was so happy and wonderful for a moment.
Then the four went on an adventure, and there was lots and lots of gay sex to boe had and lots of straight sex too. Levy and Gajeel got married and had 2.5 kids and died old and happy. Tony and Steve returned to their world and adopted a kid named Peter and also died old and happy. But no one ever forgot how wonderful their adventure was and how grand their meeting had been.
And then the author who was writing this got hungry and decided to make a pizza and watch "Orange is the New Black".