Disclaimer: I own everything! Mortal Kombat is mine! …right, um, anyway, I don't own any of these characters, all that stuff, you know the deal.
This is just a random fic I wrote where Rayden tries in vain to get even one rational conversation from his Earth warriors. Johnny Cage is a big part in case you can't tell… and on a side note, it also is not relevant to the overall story of MK in any way, I just had some free time on my hands.
Cage the Hawk
by Michiru
"You're late, Johnny," Rayden told him, waving him inside. "But you haven't missed anything so come in and have a seat."
Moving with a casual stride, Johnny Cage nodded to the others and headed for the worn leather couch where Sonya Blade was sitting. "No way, buster." Sonya swung her legs up onto the cushions, stretching out. "This is my seat. Go find your own."
Johnny looked behind him and noticed Liu, Kitana, and Rayden quickly sitting down before they lost their seats. Turning back to Sonya, he shrugged. "It doesn't look like there's any chairs left for Johnny, so if you won't move, Sonya…" He left his sentence hanging as he started to lower himself onto the couch.
"Don't you dare—ow!" Sonya tried to pull her legs out from under him. "Get off before you crush me!"
"Do I get to sit here then?" he asked innocently, not moving.
"All right, fine, you can sit there. Just get off."
"Sure thing, sweetheart." Johnny rose just enough for Sonya to pull her legs back before sitting down again. "Good thing, too. This couch is way more comfortable than your legs." Grinning at her, he added, "Or maybe it's the other way around."
"Don't call me sweetheart," Sonya growled, pulling her legs up and folding them beneath her.
"Whatever you say, sw—Sonya," he corrected himself in midsentence when he caught sight of Sonya's icy glare.
"Smart move," Rayden noted quietly, his face not quite hiding his amusement.
"Yeah," Johnny agreed, stretching his arms out and casually resting his elbow on the back of the couch. As the conversation continued, his arm slowly crept around Sonya's shoulders. His sleeve brushed the back of her neck and she jumped, turning her head as Johnny's arm quickly retreated and he pretended to be listening to what Rayden was saying.
"Watch it, Cage." Sonya snapped at him, her lips twitching as she held back a smile.
"Wha--?" Johnny's face was a mixture of innocence and confusion. "What do you mean?"
Rolling her eyes in exasperation, she sighed. "Don't mess with me, Johnny."
Nudging her with his elbow, Cage motioned to where Liu was sitting beside Kitana. Liu leaned over to murmur something into her ear and, when she turned to answer, stole a kiss, making her smile.
"Looks like a plan, eh Sonya?"
"Dream on," she retorted, though not quite as forceful as she had been.
"You're killing me, you know. Come on. Just one little kiss?"
"All right, that's enough." Rayden surveyed them with feigned sternness. "Can we get down to business? There'll be plenty of time for that after we save Earth."
Johnny watched enviously as Liu and Kitana exchanged one more whisper and a lingering kiss before they turned their attention back to the Thunder God. "Sonya—"
"No, Johnny. Give it up. Why are you so stubborn?"
"I'm a guy; it's the male curse."
Clearing his throat, Rayden tapped his foot and chuckled, eyeing Johnny and Sonya with a mischievous glint in his eye. "Do you two want to be separated?"
"He started it." Sonya pointed an accusatory finger at Cage.
"Did not."
"Did too."
"No, I didn't"
"They're like little kids," came the amused observation from Liu's direction. Johnny raised an eyebrow as the far side of the room erupted in a fit of coughing.
"Are you guys laughing at me?" he asked suspiciously.
"Would we do that, Johnny?" Liu asked, a little too innocently.
Johnny opened his mouth to retort, then saw Rayden about to reprimand them again. "Okay, Okay, we'll be good this time. You hear that, Sonya? As much as it hurts you, you have to wait until after Rayden's done to get a piece of your Johnny-Bear."
"Why you little—" Sonya began, but he cut her off.
"Ah, ah, there you go again. You really should learn to control your temper. I have feelings too. Feelings that are always trampled on by you, I might add." Johnny put on a mournful expression and hung his head.
"What are you hoping for, an Oscar for that performance?" Sonya rolled her eyes. "I hope your face freezes that way."
"Ah, 'tis a cruel, cold-hearted woman you are to wish such a fate upon the one you love," he lamented, his expression becoming even more pathetic.
"You arrogant, self-centered, womanizing—"
"Ahem." Rayden sighed resignedly. "Should I just abandon all hope of ever getting any semblance of a rational conversation out of you guys?"
"Yeah, abandon all—ow!" Johnny rubbed his shin. "What did I do to deserve that?" Aside to Liu, he grinned. "She kicked me; it must be love."
Rayden's eyes suddenly became thoughtful and he grinned wickedly. "All right, that's it. I'm putting an end to this boy-girl seating arrangement." He looked at Johnny, then at Liu. "On second thought, we'd end up with you two trying to out-talk each other. Liu, switch seats with Johnny."
Getting to his feet, Johnny made an elaborate bow to Sonya. "Farewell, beautiful maiden. I must now venture into the harsh wilderness—" he jumped back to avoid another kick aimed in his direction. "I'm hurt that you would even think of harming—" he ducked as she hurled a pillow at him.
Rayden gestured to the chair Liu had just vacated. "Sit down, Johnny. Now can I get a word in edgewise?"
"Sure thing," Johnny leaned back, propping his legs up on the coffee table in front of him. "As long as Sonya stops kicking me." His tone dared her to say something, and Rayden turned his eyes to the ceiling.
"The fate of the world is at stake, and Earth's best warriors are behaving like five-year olds. What did I do to deserve this?" There was a tangible silence, during which Johnny blew a kiss at Sonya while she glared daggers at him.
"That was an unfair remark, Rayden," Johnny accused.
"How so?"
"At best, we're four-year olds."
"For Johnny Cage, there is no hope," was Rayden's short reply.
"What can I say? You guys love me."
"Will you be quiet or do I have to list the overly-drastic measures I was planning to take to get a word in edgewise?" Rayden asked. "Earth's warriors wouldn't be able to fight very well if they were suddenly smashed by a lightening bolt."
"Aw, c'mon, Wonder Boy. You wouldn't do that."
"I think for you, Johnny, I can make an exception. Should I?"
"Nah, don't zap him, Rayden, we might need him later."
"Thanks, Liu, I'm glad you value our friendship so much."
"Anytime, bro."
At which point Rayden sighed and went on a quest to search for another Chosen One and a group of back-up fighters…
Author's note: So did you like it? Hate it? Leave a review and give me feedback!