Title: Careers, spouses, babies, and houses.

Author(s): Megan Stack and Caitlin Higgins Copyright June 2003

Disclaimer: The characters you recognize are JK's the ones you don't are original

A/N: As you can see by the copyright date, much of this story was written before HBP and DH. In fact, it was written just around the time of OoTP. Therefore, there are a lot of glaring inaccuracies as revealed by subsequent HP books. We have thusly decided to change around certain characters in order to make it more accurate. There are still certain references/events which may or may not be contradicted by cannon or by JKR. So, please bear with the changes, and accept the fact that we can't go through and change the entire story.

Arabella Figg has been replaced by a one Gwendolyn (Gwen) Humphreys, a fictional character we have created.

Arthur Weasley and Molly Baker have been replaced by Frank Longbottom and Alice Prewett (later to be Longbottom).

CHAPTER 1: Grapes, Mates, and Complaints

It was a lovely Monday morning in September, the ceiling of the Great Hall revealed a cloudless blue sky, and it was pleasantly warm inside the old castle. Most of the students were just sitting down to breakfast before their first classes of the day. The Marauders were seated at their usual spot at the Gryffindor table. Remus was finishing up some homework (which of course wasn't due for another week), Peter was cleaning up the Pumpkin juice he had spilled, James was slurping down oatmeal, and Sirius was taunting one of the first years.

Lily Evans tossed back her long auburn hair as she walked to the Gryffindor table and sat with her group of friends. She chatted loudly with the girls, most of which were none too smart. Her current boyfriend, Eamon Ryley, took the seat next to her and grabbing her waist, slid her so that she was practically on top of him, giggling all the while. A good number of seats down Sirius Black choked on his food as Eamon ate a grape out of Lily's mouth.

"They make me sick," James Potter commented into his porridge.

His twin sister Samantha looked at his best friend and in a tone filled with mocking disgust, "Sirius makes me sick and he doesn't even have to eat a grape out of someone's mouth."

"Now, Sam, Padfoot didn't deserve that," James said feigning a reproachful tone.

"Well, actually, I did."

"Yeah," Sam jumped in, "I would say turning my hair blue, putting a frog in my cereal, and covering my bed with toothpaste are reason enough to say that."

James gave Sirius a look and with a whine that was clearly practiced, Sirius started to complain, "But James! She deserved it!"

"Oh really?" James cocked an eyebrow.

"Yeah! She turned my robes pink, switched my shampoo for Nair, hello! Do you know what Nair does?! It's a hair remover. MY hair! My lovely, gorgeous hair fell out because of HER! Which, now you see why I had to turn HER hair blue, of course. AND to top it all off with sugar, cherries, and sprinkles, while I was in the bath she stole my clothes and all the towels so I had to make my way back to the common room with only a bar of soap and a loofah!"

"Bad mental picture," Remus stated while shaking his head. Then, turning to Sam he said, "I have to admit though, that was pretty good."

"I know. It was one of my better ones!" Sam was glowing with pride.

"Oh come off it, you two have been torturing each other since you were in diapers. It's just been sixteen years of who deserves what!" James exclaimed.

"Well, you know, Sirius started it when he pushed me in that mud pit!"

"No, no, you put sand in my diaper first!"

"Well that's only because you bit me!"

"You took away Mr. Fuzzles!"

"Oh, you are not still on about that stupid pink tiger!"

"He was magenta! He was not pink!"

"Oh, he was so pink. And you deserved it!"

"Yes, but the question is, did Mr. Fuzzles deserve it!? I think not!"

As Sam and Sirius continued to bicker about who deserved what, James turned his attention back to Lily and her group. He secretly found her quite attractive. With her long, wavy auburn hair, piercing green eyes, and that smile, he found her hard to resist. He, of course, could never tell the others, especially Sam, because they just saw her as vapid, annoying, and shallow. Sure, she was pretty shallow, but James thought that there might be much more that she just wasn't showing the rest of the world. She was actually very smart, third in the class behind himself and Remus and she was Head Girl. She was excellent at Charms and when she wasn't hanging around with the rest of her crowd, she could be quite nice. He remembered one time they were both up late in the Common Room studying for exams and she had talked to him very politely, and even helped him with a spell before she retired to bed. It was that night, fifth year that he decided he might like Lily Evans. He watched her carelessly flip her hair out her face and smile at her friends. Eamon tickled her and she squealed with laugher before throwing a roll at him. She grabbed her bag and stood up. James watched as she slowly and laughingly made her way out the door.

Remus waved his hand in front of James' face and James realized the other four were standing, waiting for him. "Anybody home? It's time for Transfiguration."

"Oh. Oh, yes, so it is. Just lost in thought, you know. Big potions test coming soon."

Remus cocked an eyebrow and picked up his bag. "Yes. Now let's go, we'll be late."

The boys and Sam walked down the hall as Sirius, looking at his timetable exclaimed, "Bleeding Christ! This is our only class today! WAAHOOO!!" Sam quite literally jumped for joy, nearly knocking over a first year.

The rest of Gryffindor were in their seats when the five late-comers entered. McGonagall did not look pleased that they entered late but she was not surprised in the least. After they had taken their places, she cleared her throat.

"I'm sure you've all heard of a marriage project and as seventh years you will now be participating in one. This is your last year at Hogwarts. You will be going out into the real world and some of you may get married. You will be assigned a partner- or spouse for the rest of the year. This course is designed to prepare you for married life, owning a home, holding a job, and raising children. You will be taking specialty courses for this project in addition to your regular coursework. Just because this project will take up most of your time and because this is your last year that does not mean that you should slack off! Also, you may have noticed that this is your only class today."

Here Sirius interjected with, "Thank all things holy!"

"Settle down, Mr. Black. That is so because as your head of house I must pass out your pamphlets, assign spouses, and explain some things. Now, in a few moments I will announce partners. But first, you need to know that you will each be given a randomly selected job with its appropriate salary. Some of you may not have a job and you can be laid off at any time in which you must find another. Any questions?"

After answering a few questions that concerned students she passed out the pamphlets.

"We have to worry about finances?"

"Meals? The women have to cook?"

"You can be unemployed? How does that happen?"

"Class! Settle down! I'll answer the rest of your questions at the end of class! For now, I will announce partners. Fudge, Bartholomew! Fletcher, Adams! Black, Miss Potter! Lupin, Humphreys! Longbottom, Prewett! Pettigrew, Rosmerta! Ryley, Carlson! Mr. Potter, Miss Evans!"

Most students shuffled forlornly to their partners unhappy with the results, others like James were pleased as punch. Sam and Sirius who had jumped at the same time were more than a little unhappy.

"I can't work with that Bi-"

"Watch your mouth Padfoot! That's my sister!"

"I can not work with that prick!"

"Sam! He may be a prick but he's my best friend!"

"Mr. Potter, Miss Potter, Mr. Black! Sit down."

At the same time the troubled "couple" objected, "But Professor! You can't do this to me! Really! Don't make me marry it!"

"There is no discussion. You will just have to live with it. Heaven forbid, you might even learn to get along at the end of this!"

They grumbled and sat as far apart from each other as McGonagall would allow.

"So, Lily, I was thinking…" James trailed off, as it was obvious that his wife wasn't paying attention, as she was too busy shooting Lauren Carlson death glares as she giggled at something Eamon had said.

"Oh, how dare she!" James was quite afraid of how Lily was reacting to her boyfriend being paired with another girl.

Her venomous looks ceased as McGonagall handed out the career/salary papers. The whole class was chatting as they received their assignments. Some students were quite happy with the results but what was written on Lily's paper made her stand up in a fury and yell, "I demand another job!"

IIIIIIIIII

Lily was in the Gryffindor common room with her friends as they sat discussing-or, in Lily's case- complaining about their project. She was pacing the room, obviously very discomfited to say the least. She had left Transfiguration in a huff after landing herself a detention for arguing with McGonagall.

"Oh my god! I cannot believe it! Detention, Potter for a partner AND she won't change my awful-horrible-terrible-no good- JOB!" This was punctuated by four swift kicks to the poor defenseless wall. And with that she screamed so loudly she could be heard outside the portrait hole.

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