Title: Yes, you do
Author: Eve
Email: little_grey_woman42@yahoo.de
Rating: G
Spoilers: Up to and including "As You Were".
Keywords: Sillyfic (with emphasis on "silly"), hopefully a tiny bit of humour too.
Disclaimer: How I wish they were mine let me count the ways ...
A/N: Silly. Really silly. Probably not very good, but it's either that or burning my copy of "As You Were". Hey, I had to buy the tape after all!
Yes, you do
by Eve
W.: Hey, guys! Have a look at *this*!
A.: Wow, that's so -
J.: Yeah, it looks pretty ... awesome. But ... uhm ... what is it for?
W.: For our plan, duh? Did anybody around here actually listen to me all when I was explaining our latest scheme to take over Sunnydale?
- Silence -
W.: Thought so.
A.: So, what's it doing?
W.: It's quite easy, even you guys couldn't do much wrong. On second thought, *don't touch it*!
J.: Hey!
A.: Yeah, hey! I thought we were doing this as a team.
W.: Okay, I'll try to explain it to you one more time, so listen up. This is our ticket for finally getting supremacy over this town.
A.: But how does it work? It looks kinda complicated with all these buttons.
W.: That's why they're labelled. See, all you have to do is to press the buttons in a particular order and viola - everybody's going to do what you want them to.
J.: Oh, this is just another attempt to mess with their heads? I thought we already did this. And you know, the last time it didn't exactly - Ouch! Why did you do that?
W.: Stop whining.
A.: But you know, he is kinda right, isn't he? I mean the last time it really didn't went as well as you -
W.: Will you two shut up already! This time it's going to work, you'll see. Stop nagging or I'll do this supremacy thing alone. This'll mean *no* chicks, *no* statues and no money with your pictures on it.
A.: Okay, okay, I'm in.
J.: Yeah me, too.
W.: *Good.*
A.: Do we need any supplies or anything to get it started?
W.: No, no supplies. No magic or demons too. There's really nothing that can go wrong.
J.: So - when do we start and how long does it take?
W.: *I'll* start this night and I don't think it'll take very long. The effect is immediate and everybody will be affected, so nobody will even know that something isn't right.
A.: This seems to be pretty powerful stuff - are you sure it isn't dangerous for us?
W.: Powerful, yes. Dangerous, perhaps.
J.: Can't we just think of another way to - Ouch! Not again! And on the same spot. You're so mean.
W.: If you want to rule the world you have to take some risks, idiot. Everybody knows that.
A.: Okay, so don't get mad and please don't hit me, but will we get affected, too?
W.: Nope. We'll be the only ones to know that something is wrong. You see, this is really a very powerful mind-controlling device. Of course at first we'll start slowly and alter them only a tiny bit. Make the Slayer loose some of her edge. Give her friends something to do in order to keep them occupied and from thinking too much about what's happening. Give her something to keep her occupied, too.
J.: Sounds cool, if you ask me. So - when will we get the chicks again?
W.: Your 'Are we there yet'-routine is really getting on my nerves, you know that? We have to be careful, or they'll know that something is amiss. Now, I really don't want you to touch this thing, but I guess I should tell you how exactly it works if something comes up. So, listen carefully ...
- Later that evening -
A.: Are you sure it's wise to do that?
J.: Oh, come on, he told us how it works, didn't he? And do you really want to wait a few weeks to get whatever you want?
A.: ... Well ... ok, count me in. Will we have enough time till he's back?
J.: Baywatch is on - he shouldn't be back for another 50 minutes.
A.: You sure you set the VCR, right? Right?
J.: I set both of them. But if everything goes right, we'll have the real thing in no time!
A.: Yeah!
J.: So ... Here's the interface. Looks like a normal keyboard. Kinda boring looking. Well, everybody can work with that. So it can't be that complicated, right?
A.: Right. Let's get started.
J.: So - Slayer looses some of her powers, not too much though. Only a bit to make it harder to fight against us.
A.: Us?
J.: Okay, against whatever demon's helping us out next time. Keeping her friends occupied is no problem, but what about her?
A.: After all the stuff we dumped on her one would think that it couldn't get much worse, could it? So it really would have to be something completely unexpected, something that really throws her out of the loop.
J.: Something or some*body* - I think I know just the thing ...
***
"So, I wrote it. Are you happy now? Can I go? Please let me go. You said ..."
"Well, I don't know. Do you promise to not *ever* do something like that again?"
"Actually I didn't exactly -"
"Oh yes, you did. Even though you didn't actually *did* it, you were the one responsible for it, weren't you?"
"Well, if you put it that way ... But nevertheless, kidnapping is a crime!"
"As was last week's hour to those who care, so I'm only playing fair."
"Yes, you are right. I know that you are right. And I'm really, really sorry for the way Doug screwed this one up. And I promise to make it right again, I swear. Now, could you please .."
"Okay, I'll untie you. But if you happen to "forget" to add this little bit of information in your next episode - you know, if you aren't careful this could be the beginning of the end. I'm just acting in your best interest. Screwing around with continuity, character development and coming up with completely insane plot devices will get people like me to react in a really, really nasty way."
"Actually I never used to give you or the others what they wanted, so why should I -"
"Are you kidding? Do you really think I'm the only one? Where have you been since Tuesday night? The whole community is furious about what happened last week, not only nickpicky guys. And you know what happens to creators who let their creative power slip, don't you? No? Do I really have to spell it out for you? Listen to me, if you're not careful and keep messing with our heads you'll end up like *him*."
"*Him*? You aren't actually comparing me with ... is it really that bad?"
"Well, if you don't start to listen to me, and I really hate to tell you that, you're probably ending up like Chris. He's still getting his money and all, but the show and the characters - let's just say it isn't a pretty sight."
"But I still have time? I can make it right again?"
"I think so. But next time you really have to pay more attention when you're delegating responsibilities. Just because Doug already wrote one episode - and a really wonderful one in my opinion - he obviously can't do an episode on his own, at least not without *your* supervision. So - add this scene to your next episode, let the Scoobies find out a way to defeat the geek squat and for god's sake let Buffy come to her mind again and you should be just fine."
"Okay, I'll do it. I owe you and the others that much I guess."
"Yes, you do."
Author: Eve
Email: little_grey_woman42@yahoo.de
Rating: G
Spoilers: Up to and including "As You Were".
Keywords: Sillyfic (with emphasis on "silly"), hopefully a tiny bit of humour too.
Disclaimer: How I wish they were mine let me count the ways ...
A/N: Silly. Really silly. Probably not very good, but it's either that or burning my copy of "As You Were". Hey, I had to buy the tape after all!
Yes, you do
by Eve
W.: Hey, guys! Have a look at *this*!
A.: Wow, that's so -
J.: Yeah, it looks pretty ... awesome. But ... uhm ... what is it for?
W.: For our plan, duh? Did anybody around here actually listen to me all when I was explaining our latest scheme to take over Sunnydale?
- Silence -
W.: Thought so.
A.: So, what's it doing?
W.: It's quite easy, even you guys couldn't do much wrong. On second thought, *don't touch it*!
J.: Hey!
A.: Yeah, hey! I thought we were doing this as a team.
W.: Okay, I'll try to explain it to you one more time, so listen up. This is our ticket for finally getting supremacy over this town.
A.: But how does it work? It looks kinda complicated with all these buttons.
W.: That's why they're labelled. See, all you have to do is to press the buttons in a particular order and viola - everybody's going to do what you want them to.
J.: Oh, this is just another attempt to mess with their heads? I thought we already did this. And you know, the last time it didn't exactly - Ouch! Why did you do that?
W.: Stop whining.
A.: But you know, he is kinda right, isn't he? I mean the last time it really didn't went as well as you -
W.: Will you two shut up already! This time it's going to work, you'll see. Stop nagging or I'll do this supremacy thing alone. This'll mean *no* chicks, *no* statues and no money with your pictures on it.
A.: Okay, okay, I'm in.
J.: Yeah me, too.
W.: *Good.*
A.: Do we need any supplies or anything to get it started?
W.: No, no supplies. No magic or demons too. There's really nothing that can go wrong.
J.: So - when do we start and how long does it take?
W.: *I'll* start this night and I don't think it'll take very long. The effect is immediate and everybody will be affected, so nobody will even know that something isn't right.
A.: This seems to be pretty powerful stuff - are you sure it isn't dangerous for us?
W.: Powerful, yes. Dangerous, perhaps.
J.: Can't we just think of another way to - Ouch! Not again! And on the same spot. You're so mean.
W.: If you want to rule the world you have to take some risks, idiot. Everybody knows that.
A.: Okay, so don't get mad and please don't hit me, but will we get affected, too?
W.: Nope. We'll be the only ones to know that something is wrong. You see, this is really a very powerful mind-controlling device. Of course at first we'll start slowly and alter them only a tiny bit. Make the Slayer loose some of her edge. Give her friends something to do in order to keep them occupied and from thinking too much about what's happening. Give her something to keep her occupied, too.
J.: Sounds cool, if you ask me. So - when will we get the chicks again?
W.: Your 'Are we there yet'-routine is really getting on my nerves, you know that? We have to be careful, or they'll know that something is amiss. Now, I really don't want you to touch this thing, but I guess I should tell you how exactly it works if something comes up. So, listen carefully ...
- Later that evening -
A.: Are you sure it's wise to do that?
J.: Oh, come on, he told us how it works, didn't he? And do you really want to wait a few weeks to get whatever you want?
A.: ... Well ... ok, count me in. Will we have enough time till he's back?
J.: Baywatch is on - he shouldn't be back for another 50 minutes.
A.: You sure you set the VCR, right? Right?
J.: I set both of them. But if everything goes right, we'll have the real thing in no time!
A.: Yeah!
J.: So ... Here's the interface. Looks like a normal keyboard. Kinda boring looking. Well, everybody can work with that. So it can't be that complicated, right?
A.: Right. Let's get started.
J.: So - Slayer looses some of her powers, not too much though. Only a bit to make it harder to fight against us.
A.: Us?
J.: Okay, against whatever demon's helping us out next time. Keeping her friends occupied is no problem, but what about her?
A.: After all the stuff we dumped on her one would think that it couldn't get much worse, could it? So it really would have to be something completely unexpected, something that really throws her out of the loop.
J.: Something or some*body* - I think I know just the thing ...
***
"So, I wrote it. Are you happy now? Can I go? Please let me go. You said ..."
"Well, I don't know. Do you promise to not *ever* do something like that again?"
"Actually I didn't exactly -"
"Oh yes, you did. Even though you didn't actually *did* it, you were the one responsible for it, weren't you?"
"Well, if you put it that way ... But nevertheless, kidnapping is a crime!"
"As was last week's hour to those who care, so I'm only playing fair."
"Yes, you are right. I know that you are right. And I'm really, really sorry for the way Doug screwed this one up. And I promise to make it right again, I swear. Now, could you please .."
"Okay, I'll untie you. But if you happen to "forget" to add this little bit of information in your next episode - you know, if you aren't careful this could be the beginning of the end. I'm just acting in your best interest. Screwing around with continuity, character development and coming up with completely insane plot devices will get people like me to react in a really, really nasty way."
"Actually I never used to give you or the others what they wanted, so why should I -"
"Are you kidding? Do you really think I'm the only one? Where have you been since Tuesday night? The whole community is furious about what happened last week, not only nickpicky guys. And you know what happens to creators who let their creative power slip, don't you? No? Do I really have to spell it out for you? Listen to me, if you're not careful and keep messing with our heads you'll end up like *him*."
"*Him*? You aren't actually comparing me with ... is it really that bad?"
"Well, if you don't start to listen to me, and I really hate to tell you that, you're probably ending up like Chris. He's still getting his money and all, but the show and the characters - let's just say it isn't a pretty sight."
"But I still have time? I can make it right again?"
"I think so. But next time you really have to pay more attention when you're delegating responsibilities. Just because Doug already wrote one episode - and a really wonderful one in my opinion - he obviously can't do an episode on his own, at least not without *your* supervision. So - add this scene to your next episode, let the Scoobies find out a way to defeat the geek squat and for god's sake let Buffy come to her mind again and you should be just fine."
"Okay, I'll do it. I owe you and the others that much I guess."
"Yes, you do."