A CloTi Crack fic. Something about Advent Children has always bugged me, and as a fanfic writer it is my duty to make it as entertaining as possible while limiting the number of WTF flags raised. Features quite a fair amount of breaking the fourth wall. In fact, that's kind of what the fic is all about.

Disclaimer: FFVII and all its compilation belong to Square Enix. Okay guys, you've made crisis core. Now back to FFXIII work for you lot.

I mean it.

Or I won't buy a PS3. Or a PSP. And that has nothing to do with the fact that I'm an unemployed high-shool student.

--

"So, you're leaving us again Cloud." Tifa said, dissapointed.

"Tifa…"

"No, I'm not going to stop you, it seems that whatever I try it just doesn't work."

"…"

"Just what is it you're looking for this time? Forgiveness? Everyone on and in the planet seems to be giving it to you Cloud, why is it so hard to accept that?"

"Its not forgiveness."

"Then what are you looking for Cloud, what could be so important out there in the whole world that you'd have to look for."

"My character development." Tifa did a double take.

"Wait, did you just say you were searching for 'character development'?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because…" Cloud sighed, trying to think how best to say it "Look, something happened between meteor fall and when those remnants showed up. I changed, I started worrying about everything instead of just taking a well deserved relaxation. I thought it was just Geo stigma just messing with my mind but its more than that. As if there was an audible clunk switching me from normal to emo."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I thought it was a late effect of mako poisoning so I went to Mideel to get it checked out but… nothing."

"So all this because someone decided that it would be best if you was back to brooding a lot."

"Yeah, its like they were trying to make more and more money out of a series, I mean I'm still not sure what happened at the reactor, did I throw him into the core, did he jump or did I slam him into a wall so he nose dived into the stuff?"

"I can't believe I'm hearing this." Tifa said shaking her head, contemplating breaking in to the Centra liquor to see if it would all make sense when hammered.

"I'm sorry Teef, just… I don't know what to do, I have to find that piece of me. That part that kept me happy."

"…"

"I'm sorry. I'm just going to be an unlovable emo git until I find it again."

"And I'm sorry I'm going to have to resort to this." Tifa sighed, just as Cloud was about to leave he turned to say good bye and froze. Mesmerized. "Now when I snap my fingers you will stop being emo in 1...2...3 now!"

--

"Hey Teef, I got the day off, do you want to close the bar and see that new action film?"

"Sure Cloud!" Tifa shouted back up the stares, leaving Yuffie flabbergasted at Cloud's mood change, actually mood U-turn was a better term for it.

"Uh… Teef? What the hell happened to chocobo-emo?" She asked, trying to keep her voice down

"He just saw things my way." Tifa said, shrugging her shoulders. Yuffie slowly backed away in fear at what Tifa could have done?

--

Guess what Tifa did to stop Cloud being emo. Do it and win a free one-shot.