Darkness. I could feel it in my mind. Creeping through my thoughts, destroying my ability to think and to reason.
In my saner moments, I could remember who I was. Who I had been. I had been a merchant of Galilee, a successful man. I was also a man with fears. My father had been struck by the moon, so it had been said, and had thrown himself off a cliff. I swore I would not be like him. I swore I would stay close to Yahweh. I attended the synagogue faithfully, and loved my wife and children. I treated fairly and kept just scales.
But I was also curious. One day, I had gone to Caesarea Philippi, to the old temple of Pan. No one worshipped there anymore, but I had wanted to see the ruins. That was what started it. No rabbi would blame me for curiosity, but I blamed myself. I think what happened was God's judgment for nearly becoming an idolater.
Now I live among the tombs. My family...my wife and children. I miss them, when the darkness allows me to think. I always wonder, too, why I live in the tombs, with the ruins of chains around me. I know the story of Samson, but Samson was led by the Spirit of Yahweh. This darkness...it wants my death, I think. Like the spirit of evil that haunted King Saul, I live in the consequences of my disobedience.
You understand, then, why I eventually accepted the tombs as my lot. I did not have the strength to fight the curse. Day by day I grew worse. It was just not the strength anymore. Now there were cuts and bruises on my skin, and I could not remember how they happened. Soon enough, I knew, the darkness would seek my death, and succeed.
One day, I shaded my eyes and looked across the lake. A boat was approaching. Mourners, maybe. I had no fear I would hurt them, but there was a part of me that was afraid of them seeing me like this. The darkness was also afraid. I shrank back, driven by what I could not name.
The boat landed, and for a second, it seemed as though the sun had come. Then the effect was gone. Why was I afraid? The men looked ordinary. Fishermen, maybe, or perhaps laborers. No robes for them, just simple tunics. Still, the one in the middle was different. He had kind eyes, and for a minute, I remembered what it meant to be normal.
The darkness railed, though, and I felt my vision going dark as it clambered for power. I fought back, this time determined not to let it win. Again, I knew I was not strong enough. I felt it take control. What would it do? Would it drive me to do something...permanent?
"What is your name?" I heard a voice ask. This voice was a trumpet, a command that could not be disobeyed.
My mouth moved. "We are Legion, for we are many!" My skin wanted to crawl right off my body at the voice coming from my throat. It was not mine. Never before had I heard a voice so evil and so full of menace, a dark so deep it came from Sheol itself. Maybe it did. "Have you come to torture us before the appointed time?"
Again the voice was a trumpet, a voice so bright I thought every shadow would have to go. Somewhere deep in my mind, I realized who this must be. The darkness also realized and shouted, "I know who you are, Yeshua, the Son of the Living."
Still I could not fight. I was horrified that a spirit was speaking through me, and wanted to vomit. I could feel myself twist and shake, the darkness trying to make me run. I could not. I thought for sure I would shake apart, and almost hoped for it. Maybe the Living One would allow me in Abraham's bosom.
Again the darkness spoke through me. It seemed desperate. "Let us go into the pigs."
"Go!" the voice said. At once, I felt my mind clear, and the darkness leave. I opened my eyes slowly, afraid. The group had come onto shore, and the one with the kind eyes knelt in front of me. Now I could not look away from him. Yeshua, he was called.
"Someone get this man some clothes," he said, and I realized I was naked. Ashamed, I cringed down on myself, curling up on myself. I was aware now of all that I had done while the darkness was over my mind. The things I had said, the things...I nearly wept.
A big, burly man gently handed over some clothes, and I dressed slowly. I was still afraid, but my mind was the clearest it had been since I had visited the evil temple. I realized I had been healed. Maybe now I could find my wife and children, and restore what had been taken. First, though, I wanted to go with my savior.
"Let me go with you," I begged. Others were approaching now, having heard the commotion. Away from them is why I wanted to go, as well as sudden love for the man who had the power to make every shadow depart. I didn't want the chains or the taunts anymore, even though I knew that they had been deserved.
Yeshua's voice seemed deeper now, one of command and power, though it was still filled with love. "Go, and tell your family what the Lord has done for you." Almost as though he had read my mind. Maybe he had. It was said that the Messiah, when he came, would set free every captive. I had certainly been locked up by chains I could not see.
The other men were demanding now, asking the man to leave. I would have asked him to stay. But then, I knew why they were afraid. I had also chased money and wealth, and to lose an asset, even unclean pigs, would be a disaster. As for me, none of that mattered anymore. I had lost it all, only to find it all again.
Quickly, I ran up to my deliverer. "Thank you," I said. "All shall know of what you have done here."
Yeshua smiled. "I intend so," he said. "For I long to set the captives free."
A/N: There are different views of possession. I imagine to not be in control of your own actions would be the most terrifying thing that could ever happen to a person. I would imagine that possession would be much like that, as though being locked up in a box of horrors.
I am not saying at all that all self-harm is called by the demonic. I am not one those types of Christians that sees a demon behind every bush. In the story, however, the man's wounds were caused by the spirit inside of him, and I don't doubt that since demons are much like their master, seeking to steal, kill and destroy, that they would do all in their power to turn people against themselves.