Title: Happiness Is Too An Illness
Author: Pablo
Summary: Draco's happy. The Slytherins are very, very afraid.
Notes: Well, I'd be scared if I encountered a deliriously happy Draco. Hm. Thanks to the marvelous Snow, who beta'd.
Happiness Is Too An Illness
001.
"Are you contagious?" Blaise asks, pointblank when Draco bounds into the common room one morning. Not that this is an uncommon occurrence, mind you, but couple it with Draco's sparkly eyes and healthy, ruddy looking cheeks, there's something amiss.
Draco giggles and flounces over to his friend, throwing his thin arms around the older boy's neck.
"Blaise, happiness isn't contagious. It's catching!" Draco beams before disappearing out the portal. Blaise grimaced and goes to thoroughly scrub because in his world, contagious and catching mean the same damn thing.
002.
Draco plops down on the wooden bench, taking delight in the fact that friends surrounded him. Pansy flashes him a concerned look.
"Dear, are you quite alright?" she asks, putting a hand on his forehead, "You're warm," Pansy says and immediately begins pouring her friend orange juice.
Draco obediently downs the juice before turning to wrap Pansy in a big hug. She stiffens. Crabbe and Goyle stop eating and stare at their leader acting.. affectionate.
"Draco, I think you're ill. Go to the infirmary," Pansy says, scooting away from Draco before he can slobber on her or anything. Draco smiles.
"Oh, Pansy, I'm not sick. I'm happy!" Draco says and begins digging into breakfast. Pansy stands and walks away quickly. Oh dear..
003.
Crabbe and Goyle stand at least two feet away from Draco as they escort him to class. By the time they get to the dungeons, the two bodyguards are panting because Draco skips the entire way down the hallway.
Draco sits and begins to fish through his bag, cheerfully oblivious of the silent battle going on between his two abnormally large friends.
You sit with him, Crabbe says with his eyes. Goyle's brow furrows.
No. You sit with him, Goyle responds. They're ready to duel it out old-fashioned style when Professor Snape swoops in and orders them to take their seats. Crabbe sullenly sits beside Draco as Goyle plants himself beside an exceptionally clean Blaise.
004.
"Is there something wrong with Draco?" Theodore Nott whispers across the hall to Pansy. Two rows up, Draco is humming while stirring his potion. Theo can even spy a little hip movement going on and its worrying him.
Pansy bites her lip. "I don't know. He insists that he's happy. Can you believe that rubbish?" she says scornfully as though it's insulting for someone to even think that she'd believe such absurdity.
"Well, I don't know, but I'm not sleeping in that dorm room with him until he gets vaccinated. I don't want to catch whatever that is," Theo insists. Pansy harrumphs. Draco needed to reevaluate his choice in friends, Pansy decides but immediately takes it back. She doesn't want to be reevaluated.
005.
By the end of the day, even Potty and his merry band of followers have noticed that Draco is not in his right mind. But then they have the nerve to approach Pansy and ask about it. She will stew about that one for years.
"Of course he's not mentally stable! Its just an off-day!" Pansy shrieks, forgetting that she's not supposed to share information with Gryffindors.
Hermione Granger's brow furrows as she ponders this. Pansy fights off the urge to smack her little beaver teeth out of her stupid head. Leave it to the Gryffindorks to try and figure out what was wrong with Draco.
006.
This madness, Blaise decides, has got to stop. Happy Draco has put yellow streamers up in the common room, has hugged the majority of the Slytherin house and even some outside of their house, and even spoke to a mudblood without using any obscenities or anything.
Its absolute and utter insanity.
007.
"We're going to drag his skinny arse up there and get some medication in him. I don't even care if he isn't sick," Blaise says to Theo, Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy. Pansy frowns, looking worried.
"Poor Draco," she frets as they sneak into Draco's prefect room. He's lying on his back on the bed, humming a song that Blaise is grateful that he doesn't recognize.
"C'mon, Draco. We're taking you somewhere," Blaise says, gesturing for Draco to come with them. He lets out a loud gasp that makes the other Slytherins jump in surprise.
"Are we going to the carnival?" Draco asks, positively batting his eyelashes at them. Its official. Draco is ill. And if he isn't, Blaise's entire universe and its five moons are all irrevocably shattered.
008.
Draco sullenly sucks on his lollipop, letting Crabbe and Goyle carry him on a stretcher, Theo, Blaise and Pansy following.
"I can't believe you had a temperature of 101," Pansy says. She doesn't look too disappointed, however.
"I can't believe you don't remember any of today," Theodore says in mild disbelief. It is even possible that someone could invoke so much fear of epidemic in a school and not even remember it?
Draco made a discontented noise and peers back at his friends in hate. "I can't believe that you all let her stick me with that bloody needle. Some friends you are," Draco snaps. Pansy pats his hand to comfort him.
When they get back to the common room, Draco sits up in horror.
"Why," he starts, sounding homicidal, "are there streamers on the ceiling? And why are they yellow?"
Um. Lol?