Chapter One: Perfect Storm

Once the walls had stopped rattling around us, and our cell service returned to us a good two hours later, Liam and I somehow managed to untangle ourselves from one another to check our respective devices. It was an amazing thing to find that the storm around us was over, and, as we got to our feet, promptly threw our arms around each other, the quest to find the other's lips the opposite of fleeting. Walking around the room a moment later, once we had managed to let the other go, we gathered our clothes and quickly dressed, making our way out and back up the stairs, through the bathroom, and into the front room.

"Jesus," I whispered, catching sight of the tree that had broken and smashed through one of the windows, which had ultimately done damage to my shoulder. Looking up, I saw that several other windows were shattered, and that glass littered every foreseeable surface of the room. The tree had company now, and several branches were making contact with the wood floor. "Please tell me that Penny has a decent insurance company," I said quietly.

"On speed dial," Liam confirmed, and I smirked and rolled my eyes. "Don't worry. We'll get this fixed up." He reaches out then, casually putting an arm around my waist. "How are you holding up? Shoulder okay?"

I bit my lip then, forcing myself not to spasm at the contact, and managed to flex it ever so slightly; Liam repeatedly slamming me from one wall to the next down in the shelter certainly hadn't helped matters. "Should be fine," I said, and forced a smile to my lips.

He sighed. "Iana…"

"Yeah?" I asked, carefully moving out and away from his hand, knowing already what he was going to say. "It's fine, really…"

"What?"

I sighed, forcing my expression into a neutral one before I turned and looked at him. "You're going to say that it was in the heat of the moment, right? That our lives were flashing before our eyes and that falling into each other's arms in that moment seemed to be the most logical explanation, right?"

He blinked. "Is that what you think?"

"Well, it's what you think, isn't it?" I asked, feeling my phone vibrating from my pocket, and quickly removed it. "Tell me."

"Okay, it's what I think," he replied, watching as I checked my phone. "Everything okay?" he asked, his voice unsure.

"Hopefully," I muttered, swiping right and placing the phone up to my ear. "Listen, I'd better take this and then I…"

Liam nodded. "Go ahead," he replied. "We're done here."

I swallowed then, not really what I wanted to hear, but knew that it was easier this way, at the end of the day. "Right," I said quietly as I crossed the suite and answered my phone, placing it against my ear. "Pops?"

"Hey, kiddo. Ian and I never got out of the city, unfortunately. He was still at work when the storm hit, and I was at our place. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied, stumbling over my words as I opened the door and stepped out into the hallway, shutting the door behind me. "Liam and I were in the storm shelter at work, and we're both fine."

"I'm glad, kiddo. And Hailey? Her daycare's got a shelter, right?"

"Yeah, got a text a few minutes ago," I continue, summoning the elevator to head downstairs, and kept my fingers crossed that Uncle Lip, Aunt Mandy, and Ronan were okay. "Now that the all clear has been given electronically, they're requesting parents to come and get their kids, if they're able to."

"You're able, right?"

"Yeah, I got it," I told him, nodding, despite the fact that he couldn't see me, stepping into the elevator as it arrived and pressing the lobby level button, and knew that I needed to update Pops, in an effort to distract myself, if nothing else. "A tree broke through one of the windows in the work suite and slammed me to the ground, right after the storm hit."

"Holy fuck," Pops replied. "You okay?"

"Yeah, Pops, I'm fine," I assured him, stepping out of the elevator quickly and trekking across the lobby, hoping that my car was okay. By some stroke of luck, my car was unscathed, and I immediately headed toward it. "The impact and force drove me to the ground. I crushed my shoulder a bit. Thank god Liam was there to help me."

"I'm glad he was there, too, kiddo," Pops said, obviously trying to keep his cool as I managed to get my keys out of my pocket. "You getting Hailey now?"

I sighed. "Yeah," I said, getting into my car. "Think I'll swing by the apartment, pack a bag. I just feel like I need to be with family right now…"

"The door's always open, kiddo," Pops assured me as I buckled myself in. "You get you and Hailey here, and we'll just talk. Families talk, right?"

I laughed aloud then, leaning back against my seat, the delicious soreness I'd felt just ten minutes ago now a dull ache, which drifted through my body, and left me feeling saddened by what I'd allowed myself to do back there. "They're supposed to," I said quietly, sticking my keys into the ignition. "I guess the best of them do…"

"And the worst of them?" he asked.

I grinned. "Are Milkovich's," I said without hesitation, feeling relieved when he laughed, and knew that I'd not yet lost my pops.

. . .

3 MONTHS LATER

"It wasn't just the storm."

The five words seemed to echo throughout my mind as I looked at myself in the mirror, the cool September air drifting in through my bedroom window. I was standing there, dressed in a pair of sleep pants and a tank top, worrying my lower lip as I considered them for the umpteenth time. I knew what I had to do, now that I'd admitted to myself that I was wrong. I had to make a phone call, and I had to get the hell over to Liam's place before someone else like Illiana could get their perfectly manicured claws into him.

Stumbling from my bedroom, careful not to wake Hailey, I was just about to dial Pops's number, when the sudden knock on the door startled me. I turned lose the jacket I was about to put on, and kicked off my shoes, mentally crossing my fingers that it wasn't some neighbor needing something at this time of night. I set my phone on the edge of one of the living room couches and made my way towards the door, standing on my toes slightly to look through the spy hole, and felt the gasp lodge itself in my throat when I saw who it was. Unlatching and unlocking the door as quickly as I dared, I pulled it open, staring up at Liam.

"Hey," he said quietly.

I leaned against the doorframe, not about to let him in just like that. My heart pounded in my chest when Penny had relayed to me that, just hours after the tornado had hit and left Chicago in a shambles, that Liam had gone back to Europe. It was a torment of a summer, as I anxiously waited for him to return, and hating the notion that I was officially hung up on one of the States' most eligible bachelors. Now, I knew his flight had landed that evening, and I would've gone over to see him, but…

"Hi," I said, trying and failing not to sound shocked. "You're back."

He nodded. "Yeah. Negotiations for charity functions and such ran longer than anticipated. Plus I had to stop off in Spain for a bit."

"Yeah?" I asked, crossing my arms as I continued to lean up against the door, allowing my arms to cradle my breasts ever so slightly, and noticed that this was not lost on Liam. "What were you doing in Spain? More negotiations?"

"Networking, mostly," he replied, his tone nonchalant. "Then I was invited to a wedding, and it would've been rude to decline the invitation."

"Oh?" I asked, deliberately looking away from him. "Was one of the guests a former conquest or something? Were you their plus-one?"

"I was invited by the bride, actually."

"Yeah?" I asked, scoffing. "Of course. She want another notch on her belt before she said, 'I do' to whatever poor schlock she was marrying?"

"Forgive me, I'll rephrase," he said, and my eyes snapped to his. "I was invited by one of the brides, Iana."

I blinked, straightening up then, no longer leaning against the doorframe, and found that my jaw was very close to hitting the floor. "Oh… One of the brides?"

"Yeah," Liam replied, grinning. "It was Illiana's wedding."

"Hold up," I said, shaking my head as I attempted to come to terms with the situation which had literally just been presented to me. I raised my hand, almost like I wanted Liam to stop speaking entirely, and yet I knew that that wouldn't help matters either, so I quickly forced myself to put it down. "Illiana's gay?"

Liam nodded. "Hence the term 'business arrangement'," he tells me carefully. "That's one of the main reasons why it wouldn't have been a real marriage."

I wetted my lips then, considering that as I finally stepped out of the doorway and walked back into the living room, which gave Liam incentive to invite himself in. As he shut the door behind him, I turned around to face him again, and forced myself to speak. "I don't give a damn about your summer and what you did or who you slept with," I said, and Liam looked shocked. "I'm going to say something now, and I might regret it five minutes or five years from now, but, right now, I need to say it. It wasn't just the storm."

He blinked. "You mean…?"

"Yeah. Us together in the shelter," I said, the words falling out of my mouth before I could call them back, and somehow managed to force my voice not to tremble. "I don't want it to be like it was this past year, Liam. I don't want you engaging yourself to another woman, or being with anyone else. I don't want you with anyone else because I want you," I said, and he raised his eyebrows at the declaration. "I want us to be together, and I honestly don't know what the hell that means, to be honest with you, but I guess it means that we only are involved with each other, so no sleeping around anymore. I want you not to sleep with anyone else because I just want you to sleep with me…"

Liam crossed the room then, cupping the side of my face, and I stopped talking then, from the moment his thumb dragged itself across my bottom lip. He smiled slowly then, a light chuckle escaping his lips.

I very nearly pushed him back from me, angry tears filling my eyes as I gritted my teeth. "If you think this is funny, Kennedy, so help me…"

Liam responded to that retort by yanking me so that I was pressed lengthwise against him, and I was cut off immediately by his lips meeting mine, a small squeak of surprise escaping my lips before I could summon it back. It didn't take me long to wind my arms around his neck and pull him towards me, digging my hands through his hair, maneuvering myself, which allowed him easy access to me, to taste, to touch… He pulled back then, regarding me with a curious expression. "What took you so long?" he asked.

I scoffed then, rolling my eyes as I momentarily braced myself against his shoulders, before hoisting myself up just enough to wrap my legs around his torso. "Who's to say the hesitation was all one-sided?" I ask him.

Liam nodded, acknowledging that, as he lowered his eyes. "This… Not sharing this, exclusivity, if you will," he said, gently fingering my collar bone. "Does it go both ways?"

I lift my hands from my shoulders then and place them gently upon his cheeks, then wait for him to look at me. When he does, I reply, "Of course. I don't want anyone else. I haven't wanted anyone else for the last fifteen months. You're what I want, Liam Kennedy, and who I want. I want you."

He sighed. "Even when you find out the truth?"

I bite down hard on my lower lip, knowing that his resolve would weaken when he saw me committing that act. "You got around to accepting me," I say quietly. "Why shouldn't it go both ways?" I ask.

He stared at me for a moment then, and shook his head. "You don't know how long I've waited for someone like you," he said quietly.

I slowly smiled at him, gently grinding myself closer, knowing his ability to resist me wouldn't last much longer. "Back at you, Kennedy," I whispered. I leaned in then, kissing him, but it wasn't long before he pulled back, and used his nose to nudge my chin upwards, so as to get easier access to my neck. From the moment his hot breath made contact with the tender flesh there, I felt my toes curl as a soft mewl escaped from my lips, and I dug my fingers in his hair once again. "Fuck, I missed you," I whispered.

He suddenly stepped forward then, slamming me up against one of my living room walls, and slowly smiled, and a sharp moan escaped my lips as I slowly allowed my body to glide up and down against him. "So have I," he said.

"Show me," I whispered then.

He blinked. "What?"

"My bedroom's down the hall on the right," I said, my eyes locked to his. "You want me as much as I want you?"

"Of course," he replied without hesitation.

"You missed me?"

"Definitely."

I grinned slowly at him then. "Well, take me to my bedroom and show me just how much those two statements are true, Kennedy. I won't know for sure that they're facts until you take me in there and prove them."

Without hesitation, Liam unhooks my legs from his torso, and takes me by the wrist. He pulls me after him without hesitation, taking me promptly to my bedroom and kicking the door shut behind me, and I mentally cross my fingers that Hailey won't wake up. When she doesn't, he makes a grab for me then, taking ahold of my waist and pulling me towards him. His lips find mine almost effortlessly, and I find I am growing impatient then, so I shove him away from me and grin at him.

"You know what I want," I tell him, my voice a challenge. "What I really want."

Liam's eyes flame then, and he grabs me again, pushing me onto the bed, and I let a small laugh escape my throat then as he climbs on right after me, and make quick work of unbuttoning and tearing off his shirt. He cradles my face in his hands for a moment, before he yanks down my sleep pants, and pulls up my tank stop, and my face flushes as I find that his eyes have never left mine. "How can you want me?" he whispers then, and my heart pounds in my throat then. "How can someone as amazing and brilliant and gorgeous as you want me, after all the shit I've put you through since we've met?"

I sit up then, my hair framing my face and cascading down my front, creating a moment of modesty as it covers my breasts. "I've put you through shit, too," I tell him softly, gently taking ahold of his face in my hands. "I mean, let's face it, it's not like I told you I was pregnant, or that I was bipolar…"

"You were right about not telling me those things, Iana," Liam said quietly. "It wasn't any of my business, until or unless you decided to make it mine."

My eyes flashed to his then, and I shook my head. "I should've been honest with you long before now, Liam," I whispered. "If I was honest with you, if I wasn't scared about what your reaction would be, I would've…"

"What?"

"I would've screamed at you that day," I reply, hunching my shoulders and lowering my eyes. "I would have told you that you were a fucking coward, afraid of allowing yourself to be happy, to risk everything to allow yourself to be with me…"

"Don't you think I wanted to?" he whispered, reaching down and lifting my chin. "Look at me, Iana, please." He waited until I complied, and, once I did, he continued. "There are things you likely couldn't even begin to understand about me…"

I sighed. "Look, I'm sure you haven't told me every little thing about you…"

"I intend to," he said.

I shook my head at him then. "When you're ready to tell me, I'll be there to listen to you, no matter what. I promise you that, Liam Kennedy," I whispered. "But right here, right now, all I want to know is one thing…"

"What do you want to know?"

"Do you want this?" I whispered, lifting my hands down from where they'd been placed upon either side of his face, and pressed them into the direct center of my chest. "Do you want me, Liam, because, in all honesty, my heart is in the process of swearing itself to yours. I need you, Liam; I told you as much in June. I want you; I told you as much fifteen months ago. But one thing you need to understand is that Hailey and I are a package deal. You want me, you'll get me, but you'll get her, too."

Liam remained serious then, and there was no trace of laughter in his eyes or his expression. "I know that you're a package deal, Iana," he replied. "I adore Hailey completely, and I care so much about you. Of course I want you, Iana; I think a part of me has always wanted you, but I tried to keep it hidden for so long. First because you were underage; then because you'd gotten back together with Axel; and then, because of my deal with Illiana…"

I sighed. "I understand." I hesitated for a moment, and reached out, caressing the same spot on his upper chest with one hand, while my other remained where it was. "I think a part of me has always wanted you, too. It's different, with you," I said softly, slowly dragging my eyes from my hand, placed upon his chest, to lock with his. "I think that was the part that scared me the most; I never wanted this life. A partner; children… But ever since I met you, and found out that I was pregnant with Hailey, my whole world did a one-eighty. I can't explain it, Liam Kennedy, but something tells me that I need you in my life…"

"I'll always be in your life, Iana," he replied. "Until or unless you tell me to leave it."

I shook my head then, my heart thrumming then as Liam gently nudged my hand aside upon my own chest, and gently placed his own hand there. Without one more moment of hesitation, I reached down and unzipped his pants, and he promptly kicked them off, while I wrapped my legs around his torso, urging him closer, my lips anchoring to his, and my fingers frantically tracing patterns up and down his back, and I felt the gasp automatically filter through our lips as Liam entered me then, moving around deliciously inside me.

"I can't…" I whispered.

Liam's eyes locked with mine then. "What?" he asked, his tone equally quiet.

"I can't take it if this isn't real, or if tomorrow you regret this…"

Liam leaned down then, brushing his lips with mine. "Never again, Iana," he assured me. "You are mine, and I am yours…"

"Mine," I whispered, my hands sliding down towards his backside. "Yours," I assured him, as I arched up against him, watching as he cupped my breasts in his hands, and teased my nipples ever so slightly.

"All mine," he whispered.

"All yours," I assured him, cupping his perfect ass. "All mine."

"Forever yours," he said quietly.

. . .

The deliciousness that I was with the Liam Kennedy had not worn off a week later and, when I arrived at work a little late that morning, I flushed when I saw Penny waiting for me. I breezed into my office, attempting to salvage the situation, I found I was shocked that she didn't seem angry with me. I set down my bag upon my desk and turned back around to face her, and was met with an expression that could only be described as playfully smug.

"What?" I demanded then, more sharply than I'd originally intended. "What's with you? You're starting to freak me out…"

"Has it finally happened?!" she cried out then, crossing over towards me and clutching at my hands in a frantic manner.

"What?" I cried out, shaking my head. "What are you…?"

"Are you and Liam finally together?!" she cried out, impatient.

I rolled my eyes, dragging my hands from hers and crossing my arms. We hadn't really talked about telling people yet, but, as Penny was his sister and my boss—plus one of my best friends—I felt as if telling her would be all right. Plus the notion that she was discreet in matters of the heart like this... "Yeah, we're together," I said, doing my best to hold it together as I told her thing. "Of course we're together."

She blinked. "Of course you're together?"

I swallowed then, feeling my face heat automatically at her tone. "Yeah. We're together. I don't know what you'd call us, but…"

"Is that why I've seen him in the same suit twice in a row several times over the past week?" she asked, arching a knowing eyebrow.

I sighed, rolling my shoulders. "If you're implying that you're well-aware that he's been spending some nights at my place, yeah. He has been."

"On the couch?"

I smirked then, knowing that I didn't want Liam in any room but the obvious one; of course, the shower was okay, too, and various walls… "I think you know full well where your brother has been sleeping when he's at my place, Penny," I tell her.

"Or doing something other than sleeping?" she asked, and my mouth suddenly went dry. "Come on, Iana, I wasn't born yesterday. Beds are known for many things other than sleeping. Besides, I've been with Lacey for almost three years now, and the two of us have…"

"Okay, no," I said, my voice firm as I cut her off. "I love you guys a hell of a lot and I think your relationship is a beautiful thing, but I don't need to know about your… Habits."

"What? Like you doing the devil's tango with my brother is something I'm not allowed to talk about now?" she asked.

"Exactly," I said, my tone just a little smug as I stepped forward and patted her in an indulgent and slightly patronizing manner on the cheek. "I'm so glad we had this conversation, Penny," I went on, crossing behind her to get to the file cabinet, which had more marketing proposals for me to look over.

"But, wait!" she cried out then, flying around and moving to follow me. "At least tell me that the two of you are getting married and are going to have babies!"

I spun around then, my mouth dropping open. "Jesus, Penny. It's been a week. One. Week. We haven't mapped out an entire future yet…"

"Oh, but I have," Penny said quickly. "Wait until you see what I've…"

"Penny," I said, and she stopped talking. "Liam and I are just taking it day by day at this point. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, or next month, or next year, and neither does he. We're only human, Penny, and the last thing we need is anyone who thinks they know better than the two of us stepping on our toes and putting their noses where they don't belong."

Penny sighed, collecting her purse from the file cabinet beside my desk and moving the exit my office in what appeared to be a moment of dismay. "But when you get married, I get to be Maid of Honor, right?"

"Penny Kennedy!" I screeched then, and moved after her, as she laughed and ran away and out the front door before I could catch her.

. . .

I collected Hailey from daycare later that afternoon, intending to head over to Pops and Uncle Ian's place to help Yev and Des move. As soon as I parked outside and got her out of the car, I smiled when Yev came out and met us, laughing indulgently at Hailey's squeal and demand to be help. We trooped inside together, and sat down on the couch in the living room.

"Pops and Uncle Ian back yet?"

"Headed out to the store to pick up a few things. Apparently, they've decided we're all eating here tonight. That is, unless you've got other plans. Des is on board, and he's even bringing Liam for you, if you're cool with that."

I blushed. "Damn right I'm cool with it," I replied as Yev set Hailey down, and we watched her as she toddled effortlessly around the living room, apparently pleased with her surroundings as she talked softly to herself.

"Things going well with that, then?" Yev asked.

I nodded, watching as Hailey surveyed the boxes that contained Yev's things, to be moved into Des's condo across town later that evening. "Yeah. I mean, it's different, for both of us. But we're... We're really happy," I said then, and Yev grinned at me.

"That's all that matters, right?" he asked, and I laughed aloud. "Well, other than honesty, respect, and compassion, and all that other junk..."

I rolled my eyes and gently swatted him in the shoulder. "Goddammit. Why you gotta be such a fucking Milkovich all the time, Yev?!" I demanded.

Yev grinned. "It's in my blood?" he asked, spreading his hands.

The door opened from behind us then and, turning, I felt the grin on my face as Des and Liam stepped inside. Hailey, of course, watched as Des and Liam came towards me and Yev respectively, greeting us affectionately, and she was having none of it. Stampeding across the room towards the four of us, Hailey let out an exalted shout at the notion that neither of them had paid homage to her, and promptly lifted her hands to be picked up.

"Hailey," I scolded gently, picking her up myself, and was rewarded with a sour expression, as she had wanted to be greeted by Liam and Des. "What did we talk about this week? About asking politely for what we want instead of demanding it?"

Hailey sighed dramatically, putting out her lower lip. "They didn't say 'hi' to me," she said in a rather petulant tone.

I nodded. "Yeah, and I understand that you're upset about that," I told her gently. "But we have to use our words and our kindness. You're a big girl now, sweetheart—you're going to be three in just a few months. Big girls ask for what they want in a polite voice. Now, Liam and Des love you very much, and I'm sure you if ask them very politely, they'd be more than happy to greet you in a manner that you enjoy."

Hailey sighed again, before raising her eyes to Liam and Des. "I'm sorry," she said softly, and they gave her an understanding smile and nodded. "Can I have a hug now?" she asked then, her dark eyes widening with innocence, and Des and Liam were easily charmed by her, and Des took her at once.

Pops and Uncle Ian stepped through the back door a few moments later, and I urged Liam, Des, and Yev to socialize among themselves—and Hailey, of course—while I helped them with their bundles of groceries. Stepping into the kitchen and after getting my own hugs from them, I helped them sort out their purchases. I gleaned from the foodstuffs they'd bought that we were having burgers that night, and my stomach growled automatically at the traditional American fare that I'd be indulging in later that night.

"How was work this week?" Uncle Ian asked casually.

"Good," I replied, rolling my shoulders as I unwrapped the ground beef and began to season it on their behalf. "I mean, I'm glad it's the weekend. Fingers crossed that Hailey will let me get some sleep for the next two days..."

Pops smirked. "No chance of you getting any sleep, kiddo."

I blinked, turning and looking over at him. "What do you mean?"

"I think what your creepy father was insinuating was that he thinks that you or Liam—or both of you—will prove to be... I don't know, insatiable, and, therefore, sleep will be off the table for some time."

"Provided that Hailey doesn't get in the way," Pops said quickly. "Now that Yev's moving out, I'll have more time on my hands. So, anytime you wanna drop her off..."

"Oh, my god... Are we seriously going to have a sex talk right now?!" I demanded, throwing up my hands. "I know how it works. I have a fucking toddler."

"Yeah, but you've never been this crazy about someone before," Uncle Ian said gently. "I mean, let's face it, you were never this way about Axel."

"Yeah, how is he, by the way?" Pops asked.

I sighed. "Trial's been delayed," I muttered, leaning back against the counter, the burger patties forgotten for a moment. "Just enough time to change my major..."

Pops straightened up then. "Change your what?"

"You're not getting a business degree anymore?" Uncle Ian asked.

I shook my head, smiling. "No. I met with my academic advisor earlier this week, and although it's kind of unorthodox, my grades are in a good place, and I'm still young enough, and Penny's word is enough, apparently, for me to be taken seriously. The storm got me to thinking that life's really short, and I guess I wanted to shake things up a bit."

"Yeah?" Pops asked. "How?"

I smiled. "Well, the first step—and I know this is the wrong order to do things, but I hardly ever think with my heart, and the two of you can attest to this—was to get Liam. I've wanted him for over a year and when I found out, just a week ago, that he felt the same way about me that I do about him, things started falling into place. So, I changed my major."

"Does this mean you have to start at the beginning?" Uncle Ian wanted to know.

I sighed. "Normally, yeah. But my advisor talked the dean into giving me some credits from my business, English, and math courses so I'm pretty much in the same spot as I was before. I may have to take a few more credits here and there, but I'll still graduate on time."

"So, what's your major?" Pops asked.

I swallowed then, knowing that the time had come to say it aloud. "Law," I replied. "I don't know what this means for my future for Nell's Rags. But I know a law degree would be beneficial for the COO position."

Uncle Ian mulled it over. "Penny know about it yet?"

I nodded. "She got an email from the dean this afternoon. She set me an email, letting me know that we'd discuss it on Monday."

"Feeling okay about it?" Pops asked.

I nodded again. "Yeah, I'm feeling fine." I turned and looked in the living room, and saw Hailey delighting Liam, Des, and Yev with stories about her daycare. I sighed then, looking past the group of people and across the street, and saw my childhood home.

"She misses you, you know," Uncle Ian said softly.

"Every day," Pops put in.

I nodded, turning and looking over at them. "I know. And you know why I know? Because I miss her, too. I think about her a lot. I just... I wish I could let go of this anger, but it doesn't come easy, you know?"

"You guys have a lot of stuff between you," Uncle Ian said gently.

I sighed, feeling my shoulders slacking slightly as I looked again, and it was this time that I spotted her car out front. "Do you mind if I go over for a few minutes? Mind looking after Hailey, too?"

"That's your call, kiddo," Pops said, but, reaching into his pocket, offered me his copy of the house key he had.

I forced a smile to my lips then, and took it from him. "Be back shortly," I said, turning around and walking out the back door.

I needed some time to think, as I walked down the stairs and around the side of the house, and going the long way proved beneficial for that. I wrapped my blazer more closely around me as I walked, knowing that, as the cloud cover seemed to grow thicker with each passing day, that the cold weather was due to set in with a vengeance. Before—before Hailey was born, and before I had Liam and Yev in my life, and when there was just Pops who had my back all day, every day—I felt like an outsider. I remembered watching Mom, Dad, Clayton, Fionn, Carla, and Charlie together, and how they just seemed to fit. And then there was me, the different one out of them all, and that had helped foster the wall build between Mom and me as time went on, and as I'd entered my teenage years.

I pushed through the gate of the house then, knowing that it was too late to turn back, and climbed up the stairs. I felt the key still in my hands then, and fumbled with it ever so slightly as I unlocked the door and stepped inside. The heavenly smell of my mother's spaghetti bolognese hit my nose like wildfire, and I swallowed then, remembering the uncomplicated times in my life, and how few and far between they were. I put the key into my pocket and shut the door behind me, not bothering to lock it in case I needed a quick escape.

I stepped deeper inside the house then, and saw my mother, her back to me, preparing dinner in the kitchen. I bit down on my lower lip then, not wanting to frighten her, just in case she was holding a sharp object. "Mom?" I said at last, breaking the silence, except for the cooking sounds around us.

She stopped doing what she was doing and turned around then, her copper hair not an inch out of place, our shared dark brown eyes taking me in then, almost as if she was sure she was dreaming that I was there. "Iana?" she whispered.

I sighed, stepping closer. "Hi."

"Hi, there, sweetheart," she said quietly.

I swallowed then, knowing that I had to ask the question, even though it may seem rude, but it was truly eating away at me so much—as it had, for weeks—that I just couldn't hold it back any longer. "Are you sober?" I asked.

She sighed. "Yeah, honey. I'm sober."

I nodded. "Good," I replied. "That's good."

She wiped her hands on her apron then, as she cautiously stepped around the small bar the kitchen had and stepped towards me. "What can I do for you, Iana?"

"I came over because I wanted to say something to you."

She nodded. "I figured as much," she said, looking down for a moment before she drew up her head and looked at me. "All right, sweetheart. Go ahead. I can take it."

"I want to impress upon you how let down I felt when I saw you here, in the kitchen, on the floor, with those bottles around you," I said then, trying to keep my tone as neutral as possible. "I mean, we have so much shit between us as it is, Mom, and yet you... You promised me that those days of you drinking and being irresponsible were over. When Tommy got out of our lives for good thanks to you, and Mason, I just... I thought that things would be different, and that you wouldn't let me down again. I know you're only human, I understand that, but my child was at risk, Mom. I trusted you with my baby, with the most important person in my life, and not only did you break your word by breaking your sobriety, my daughter was sick, and you weren't in a place where you were able to help her. In that moment, she needed you; in that moment, she was utterly defenseless against the world; in that moment, I saw myself."

She blinked. "You saw yourself?"

I nodded. "I saw myself," I confirmed, my voice becoming raw as tears flowed down my face a million miles an hour. "In that moment when I saw my precious baby screaming and crying and begging for help, I saw myself. I saw myself in that fucking living room, silently begging Tommy not to hurt me. I saw myself in the principal's office, begging for him not to threaten me with expulsion because I wouldn't suck him off. I saw myself outside the homecoming dance during freshman year, knowing that, if I couldn't get out of that situation, I could've been raped again. When I saw my little girl in a similar situation, when she didn't have anyone to help her, and she couldn't help herself, I knew... I knew I had to step up and be there for her, and by being there for her, I had to get her away from the source of her pain."

My mother nodded. "I see."

"I'm not ready to hear your reasons behind your need to drink again yet," I told her, and she let out a small sigh. "I'll let you know when I want to hear your reasons for putting my daughter and yourself at risk. I'll let you know when I want to hear your reasons for letting me down again, after you told me that you wouldn't. I'll let you know when I want to hear your reasons for allowing yourself to put up this wall between us again. I thought we'd knocked it down, after Hailey was born, and I didn't think it would ever have to be built back up again. But now it's here, and it looks like it's here to stay. I'm not calling in the demolition crew anytime soon, because I'm still not over this, Mom. And as for when I might be able to get over it, I don't have an answer for you."

"I understand."

I sighed then, the answer seeping out of me then. "Good," I replied. "Look, I mean, I just would feel more comfortable if you continued to keep your distance..."

"I get that, Iana."

"Good," I said again. Not knowing what else to say, I said, "I changed my major."

She blinked. "To what?"

"Law."

She nodded. "Have fun with that... Can I tell Nicholas and the kids?"

"Yeah, you can tell them," I replied. I hesitated for a moment, before I gave her a small nod and turned around, walking out of the house. I pulled the door shut behind me and walked down the stairs and through the gate, looking both ways automatically before I crossed the street. As I did so, I saw Liam leaning against the side of the house and raised my eyebrows, more used to Yev waiting for me after situations like this. "Where's...?"

"Inside, with Iana," he said, straightening up and coming towards me as I walked through the gate and around the side of the house. "We all saw you leave, and watched you from the window, so we knew where you were going."

"And Yev?"

"Organizing," he replied. "Plus, he said that, as much as he loves you, this is my job now."

I blinked. "So, what? I'm an assignment?"

Liam smirked. "Something like that."

I shoved him in the shoulder. "Hey!"

He laughed aloud then, pulling me into his arms, his lips pressing against my forehead. "No, you're not an assignment, Iana," he said, speaking gently. "You're the woman in my life. And, as the man in your life, I have to be the one to be there for you in situations like this. If you need a shoulder to cry on, arms around you, someone to talk to, or just someone to shut up and keep you safe."

I sighed. "Well," I said, inhaling his familiar scent, and suddenly feeling safe, "it's nice to know that Yev's looking out for me."

Liam cleared his throat and I laughed.

"And that you are, too, of course," I said, and he chuckled.

"How was it?" he asked, his tone tentative, after a moment of silence.

"What?" I asked, pulling back slightly. "Talking to my mom?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Your eyes are red."

I sighed, dragging a hand down my face. "Goddamn emotions got the better of me," I said in a rueful tone before shrugging my shoulders. "Told her about changing my major."

"Yeah? How'd she'd take it?"

"I think she would've hugged me if we'd been on better terms."

"Did you want her to hug you?" he asked.

I sighed then, feeling the tears enter my eyes again. "Yeah," I said, my voice cracking slightly then as I allowed myself to be vulnerable in front of him. "Yeah, I did. I just wish she could hug me and make all the bad blood between us go away. I just wish things could've been different. I love my mom, Liam, I really do, but I don't know how to act here..."

"She tell you why she broke sobriety?"

I shook my head. "No. No, I wasn't ready to hear it yet. I guess I was just afraid that it would come out like an excuse."

"Is that all you're afraid of?"

I bit my lip. "No."

"What else are you afraid of?"

"Everything," I replied. "I'm afraid of losing Hailey, or you, or Yev, or my pops... I'm afraid of the notion that I've changed my major. I'm afraid Penny will fire me for changing my major. I'm afraid that my mom and I will never be okay again. I'm afraid that my meds will stop working and I'll have to be locked up again..."

Liam held me tightly then as I sobbed into his shoulder. "The best part about all those fears, Iana, is that you don't have to worry alone," he whispered. "You've got Hailey, me, Yev, your pops, your uncle, Des, Penny, Lacey, Franny... A bunch of people who love and care about you. My mom, your mom, your dad... There's too many to count. At the end of the day, a shit ton of people have your back. You just gotta remember that."

I sighed then, pulling back before I stood on my toes to kiss him. "I'll try to," I replied, and pressed my forehead against his. "I just need to be reminded every once in a while."

Liam smiled. "Well, I'll remind you as many times as you need it, Iana. That I can promise," he said, and squeezed me tighter.