Chapter 2: Renji...?
The next day, Rukia demanded that she was given the chance to show her off her DDR skills to their friends. Of course, Renji, being the impatient one that he was, wanted to try playing after her, so…
As Ichigo tried to instruct him, Renji nearly set Zabimaru to the TV when the electronic monitor read "FAIL. YOU SUCK." after each attempt.
"…So you just step on the thing? Like this?" Renji stomped on the delicate pad, tearing a hole through the fabric and foam lining. Rukia and Orihime winced. Uryu and Chad snickered.
"Not that hard, you moron!" Ichigo yelled. What the hell is your problem? Haven't you ever heard of being careful with other people's junk?" He punched Renji in the chest, and Renji staggered back, hollering, "I'm a moron? Who's the dumb ass who tried to kill himself yesterday with a freaking rug?" Inevitably, the two attacked each other in front of the TV as Rukia sat back and sighed.
"Jeez. They're so high strung." Orihime, Uryu, and Chad nodded.
"WHO'S HIGH STRUNG?" Ichigo roared, avoiding a swift uppercut.
"You are, carrot head!" Renji shot back, ducking as Ichigo swiped at his head.
"Fire hydrant!"
"Bastard!"
"Dumbass!"
"Retard!"
"Isn't it amazing how quickly Renji has acclimated to the world of the living? He's able to use blue-collar insults in retaliation to Ichigo's sharp remarks," Uryu said sarcastically.
"Shut it, tampon suit, or you're next!" Renji snarled.
"MY SUIT DOES NOT RESEMBLE A TAMPON!"
"Yes it does! It looks like that one Chappy magazine Ichigo lent me!" Renji remarked.
"Chappy? Why haven't you told me, Ichigo? I love Chappy!" Rukia squealed.
Renji and Ichigo paused, and Ichigo hissed, "Idiot! I told you not to mention that!"
"What's the magazine name?" Rukia asked.
"Oh, Playboy."
*SMACK*
"Ow! What the hell was that for?"
"YOU DUMBASS! THAT WAS A SECRET!"
"PLAYBOY?" four voices shouted.
"Um…since when does Renji read Playboy?" Orihime asked nervously.
"Why are we even having this conversation?" Chad added.
Rukia turned to Ichigo, her cheeks flaming. "I can't believe you'd even sink that low. Don't the words 'female degradation' mean anything to you?"
"First Renji's a tampon expert, now Rukia's a feminist?" Uryu queried. "Wow, this author's really lost her marbles.
So, I tried out a beginning for chapter 2, and it got kind of out of hand. I'm new, like I've said before, so editing is becoming an arduous task. Therefore, to give you something to laugh at, I just decided to post this guy.
!Adios!
~Kiroku Ookami~