This is my first fanfiction. I don't know if I'm going to continue this story, let me know if I should. I don't own Degrassi. If I continue this story, future chapters will be longer. Hope everyone's having a nice day.

Clare's POV

I watch the blood dance out of my left forearm as I wonder how my life came to this. It used to be perfect. I used to be a dreamer. I was the type of girl who looked at life as a blessing, not a curse. I used to look at everything in a happy light, I used to look at the world like it was perfect. I was the type of girl who could just sit there by myself and daydream for hours. I used to think daydreams could come true. I was an optimist. But now, I have no idea who I belong to or what I'm meant to be. Now, I look back at how I was a year ago and laugh and how ridiculous I was. Life isn't perfect and neither am I. Anyone who thinks that is an idiot. I sigh and press the blade into my arm again, a little harder this time and I instantly feel release. I let out all my anger, frustrations and mostly pain as I watched my arm getting more and more bloody.

I sigh again, coming out of my trance. There's blood everywhere and my mother, Helen will be suspicious if she sees blood in my washroom. I quickly clean up and press a damp washcloth on my arm in attempt to soak up all the blood. As I leave my bathroom I take a look at myself in the mirror and shudder. I see a girl who is huge, ugly and mostly lost. I stare down at my purity ring and twist it around a few times. I don't deserve to wear it. I'm a fake.

On my way to my bedroom I hear a door slam. Great, my parents are fighting again. I start on my algebra homework, since I have nothing better to do, plus I have to keep up my image of "Saint Clare" and St. Clare gets good marks. I know that St. Clare is gone, fortunately no one else knows. Just as I'm starting the first question I hear my mom yell my name "Clare!"

"yes mom?" I say in a somewhat annoyed tone, thank god she didn't notice or she'd ground me.

"I'm going to a church fundraiser, will you be alright for dinner?" Why does she even ask? It's not like she gives a shit about my opinion, even if I asked her to stay home with me, I know she wouldn't. Of course I couldn't share these thoughts so I yell out a meek "have fun" as I hear the door slam. It's not like I would actually be eating dinner anyway, I can't afford the extra calories.

After I finish all my homework I begin to think. How come it's Monday night and I have nothing to do? I never do anything. Alli and I are in a fight and Jenna and I don't talk after she stole KC, my ex-boyfriend. Unexpectedly Alli took Jenna's side and said that Jenna was prettier than me and deserved KC more than I did. After she told me that, I realized she was a bad friend. All she cares about is Drew and any other boy's she can get her hands on. I sigh remembering what she did with Johnny and how much it broke her.

I decide to go for a run since I have nothing better to do and I could lose all the extra weight I'm carrying. I pull on my running shoes and head out the door.

Breathe, I keep telling myself as I pant. The back of my calves are sore from all the exertion, I'm overworking today and I know it, I've been jogging for an hour, on an empty stomach, I ate nothing today. I should probably head home now. I turn around and start jogging towards my house. Suddenly, a hearse flies by me and I freak out. Who died? This hearse looks exactly like the one that took Darcy to her grave yard after she committed suicide. I hold back tears as I think of Darcy, she didn't even love me enough to stay on Earth with me, I could really use her now, but I know I have to be strong in case anyone see's me and no one can see St. Clare cry.

Should I continue?