I look at her and I wonder.
I wonder how she got me so wrapped around her finger. Hanging on her every word.
I wonder why it is that she can look at me, see the hunger in my eyes, and simply turn away.
Refusing to give me any satisfaction.
And I wonder,
Constantly.
How she can do these things and still remain innocent.
Her words are like daggers.
She cares. She loves. Yet she continues her innocence.
She has never been burned, because she has never dared to go near the flame. It may be cliche, but it's true. And suddenly, here I am. This guy that interests her, that dares to challenge her. I'm this guy that came into her perfect life and set it on fire.
I'm looking at her, and all I see is fear. It's in her eyes. She knows she should stay away.
For a while, she did.
But she's here now, standing in front of me, eyes dancing with the hunger that I have only before seen in my own reflection.
And I know now, that it's okay. I can fall, because she will be there to catch me. There is not a shadow of a doubt left in my heart.
So I fall. It's simple. I touch her hand, and pull her inside. Pulling her to my room. We kiss.
She tastes good.
Like cinnamon.
I never want to let go, and I don't know if I will.
But she breaks away, and I look into her eyes.
I see the hunger, and I see the fear, but I now see something new.
She *loves* me.
She may love Dean, but as she looks into my eyes with trust stretching beyond anything, I know.
I know that she has *never* looked at him like that.
Because if she had looked at him like that, he would never have let her go. He would not have left her side. He would never let their hands fall apart, or their eyes break away.
He would hurt, deep down, every time they touched. He would treat her like a woman. Not like the fragile girl she pretended to be.
The fragile girl that would never be in Jess's bed. In Jess's arms. Looking at Jess in a way that suggested she had been playing with matches. No words need be spoken. I pull her close and kiss her breath away.
I know what she wants.
I pull away and stand, leading her to the door. I say goodbye with my eyes, and I see tears start to fall down her cheeks.
I know what she wants.
Unfortuately, I also know what she needs.
I close the door and listen to her footsteps fade away.
She may never forgive me, but it's understandable.
A thought occurs to me, and I write it down. It rings true as I read it aloud.
"She is no longer an enigma to me,
She has come unwrapped at my feet.
And while I watch her where she lays,
Naked... beneath my gaze,
May my wonderment cease…
She is not ready, to love but me."
TBC
I wonder how she got me so wrapped around her finger. Hanging on her every word.
I wonder why it is that she can look at me, see the hunger in my eyes, and simply turn away.
Refusing to give me any satisfaction.
And I wonder,
Constantly.
How she can do these things and still remain innocent.
Her words are like daggers.
She cares. She loves. Yet she continues her innocence.
She has never been burned, because she has never dared to go near the flame. It may be cliche, but it's true. And suddenly, here I am. This guy that interests her, that dares to challenge her. I'm this guy that came into her perfect life and set it on fire.
I'm looking at her, and all I see is fear. It's in her eyes. She knows she should stay away.
For a while, she did.
But she's here now, standing in front of me, eyes dancing with the hunger that I have only before seen in my own reflection.
And I know now, that it's okay. I can fall, because she will be there to catch me. There is not a shadow of a doubt left in my heart.
So I fall. It's simple. I touch her hand, and pull her inside. Pulling her to my room. We kiss.
She tastes good.
Like cinnamon.
I never want to let go, and I don't know if I will.
But she breaks away, and I look into her eyes.
I see the hunger, and I see the fear, but I now see something new.
She *loves* me.
She may love Dean, but as she looks into my eyes with trust stretching beyond anything, I know.
I know that she has *never* looked at him like that.
Because if she had looked at him like that, he would never have let her go. He would not have left her side. He would never let their hands fall apart, or their eyes break away.
He would hurt, deep down, every time they touched. He would treat her like a woman. Not like the fragile girl she pretended to be.
The fragile girl that would never be in Jess's bed. In Jess's arms. Looking at Jess in a way that suggested she had been playing with matches. No words need be spoken. I pull her close and kiss her breath away.
I know what she wants.
I pull away and stand, leading her to the door. I say goodbye with my eyes, and I see tears start to fall down her cheeks.
I know what she wants.
Unfortuately, I also know what she needs.
I close the door and listen to her footsteps fade away.
She may never forgive me, but it's understandable.
A thought occurs to me, and I write it down. It rings true as I read it aloud.
"She is no longer an enigma to me,
She has come unwrapped at my feet.
And while I watch her where she lays,
Naked... beneath my gaze,
May my wonderment cease…
She is not ready, to love but me."
TBC