I don't own Hikaru no Go.
Feeling decidedly awkward, his gaze automatically shifts away from the person in front of him. Discomfort does that to him, makes him resort to his instincts. Keeping his eyes on the swirls a few falling flowers are making, he gnaws his bottom lip. Shifting back a little as his fingers twitch, he tries to make his breathing as quiet as he can, in an inept, almost unconscious, attempt to go unnoticed.
"What do you mean?" The inevitable question comes after a long pause. He sounds confused, which is about what he expected; Shindou isn't exactly known for his observational skills. Not away from a goban, at least.
"I mean what I said." It's a challenge, the way he says it. They're good at those, this should be no different. He wants this to be no different. He squared his shoulders, but can't make himself move his eyes.
"But.." Shindou sounds confused and a little frustrated, it's only then that he looks up from his stubborn surveying of the trees. His face matches his voice, and he hopes he hasn't lost a friend to this.
"It doesn't have to mean anything." He's quick to try and make it go away. They can ignore this. They can ignore this, easily.
"Then why did you confess to me?"
Ah, that. He isn't exactly sure to the answer to that. Part of it was that he'd been keeping it a secret for a few years now, and it was eating away at him. Another was that he'd always wondered what Shindou would do if he found out. And the last was that he'd maybe, possibly thought that he might have a chance. A small one, sure, but a few signs pointed to this thing being mutual. He guesses not, now.
"It seemed like the thing to do."
And it had. The night was beautiful, the sky clear enough to see the stars from the small park they're in, patterned with falling flowers. The fragrant smell of cherry blossoms in the air. It was just the two of them, the park empty at such a late hour. Still slightly exhilarated from such a great game of Go, he was feeling a little reckless. It was the perfect night for such things.
"What do you mean, Touya, that it seemed the thing to do?" Turning away again, he makes it clear that he won't be replying.
Grabbing his shoulders, Shindou spins him around. They're face to face, and they've been closer before, but he feels like this is different. He'd only just made himself vulnerable, he'd confessed to Shindou, for god's sake, and he'll blush if he wants to.
"Tell me." Correctly reading the expression on his face and realising that demanding answers wasn't going to get him anywhere, Shindou finally resorts to pleading. "Please?"
Trying to step back and out of Shindou's hands, the attempt is thwarted when he digs his fingers in tightly. He's never been very good at refusing Shindou, especially not in the last few months.
He swallowed heavily when he feels the heat rush to his cheeks, his heart beating like it wants to leap right out his chest, "Why do you want to know, anyway?"
Shindou looks startled, a little, like he'd not thought about the whys or the wants, his mind only on answers to whatever questions he decides on. It's typical Shindou, and it forces a faint smile onto his face, even with him feeling so awkward.
"I just do?" If Shindou's asking him, he shouldn't count on getting an answer anytime soon. Why would he know anything about what he's feeling? He was wrong about it before.
Still, though, the reasoning is unimpressive, and he raises an eyebrow to show Shindou how he feels about it.
"You just do?" He can't help keep his voice from being faintly mocking, but it must be obvious just how... awkward, he supposes the word is, he finds this.
"Never mind that." His face is flushed and his hands dig in again. "Why do you like me?"
Letting out a slow sigh, he relaxes into Shindou's hands and decides on the truth. He'd already told him how he felt, why not get it over with?
"How could I not?" Shindou stops. He stares at him intently, looking expectant. What, does he want a list?
Seeing that he's not about to continue, Shindou tries to prompt him to go on. "How could you not? What d'you mean?"
"You're my rival, so I spend most of my time with you. But we aren't typical rivals, not really, we spend around half the time we're together being friendly. You call us friends, actually. We're closer than average, and both slightly unconventional about each other. We've been obsessed with each other before. You're attractive to me, and I like the way you look. You're Go calls to me, and always makes me want to play my best when I'm with you. You're obnoxious, but I find it endearing. You pull me out of my shell. I don't know. It's everything, I guess."
He ends the rather long speech with a jerky shrug, half trying to escape Shindou's hold again. Still not letting go, though he looks shocked, the grip only tightens.
He waits, not adding anything. He has said everything he wants to, it's Shindou's move now.
The pause moves between contemplative and awkward at various intervals. The emotions come from Shindou, as he's keeping council. His face is blank to not give anything he feels away.
"I've..." Shindou swallow, and looks nervous. "I've thought about it before." He ducks his head, seeming almost ashamed. Shindou takes his hands back and shoves them in his pockets.
He'd thought about it? His heart skipped a beat, or at least it felt like it. Was Shindou going to confess too?
"Most of it is like you said, we're kind of opposites, but not really? We're the same bases with different pictures, or something. Like we complete each other." The unsure tone that Shindou started with is gone by the end of his sentence. It makes him seem more determined, and hope quickly rises.
"I think we should try it, Touya." Shindou nods, and looks at him for approval. Like he'd disagree? When he'd mentioned it first?
"Me too." He smiles at Shindou, and feels almost crazily happy at the beam that is returned.