I did that thing that most children do….scratch that, I did that thing most people do. I ran. And I told myself I'd go back and I told myself it'd be better there and I told myself I'd be okay. I did that thing most people do. I lied. I ran and I lied and I criticized myself.

Myself the lying, running hypocrite.

Because I didn't run. I judged the people that ran.

I didn't lie. I condemned liars.

And most of all, I was no coward. I was the one who told off the boys when they chose not to follow me. I was the one who went straight to Hook when he began to threaten me. I was the one who laughed in the face of death, because I was afraid of nothing. I called no man mister. No one could bring me down.

But I did that thing most people do, and I changed my mind.

Something could bring me down.

And someone did.

"Stop screaming!" I cried into my knees "Stop whispering. Stop me. Stop everything!"

And I knew no one was there. But everyone was there. "Leave me alone, stop going away"

Contradiction after contradiction, I fell apart. The internal battle I suffered. The internal fear I faced. "I loved you and love is a feeling only adults feel and I am a child and you took that away from me you took my childhood away"

I ripped the kiss off my neck and threw it at a tree. It felt like I was throwing a bomb into the trees. I knew it'd hurt me, but at least I wouldn't see it anymore. That'd be nice, right?

I quickly flew towards it again "No…you took me away, come back, why'd you go away?"

I knew once I came back I'd be miserable, how wouldn't I? I loved her, she made me love her.

We were supposed to stay together, here, in Neverland. The place only we knew. We were supposed to stay somewhere only we knew.

But she had to go.

They always have to go.

I had to go….

Did I cause this pain to my parents? I wish…I wish I remembered their names. Their faces. I can still remember the scent of my mothers perfume and how it radiated from her dresser. I still remember my father's booming voice, as he screamed at me for being so childish.

That's why I left.

Because what is a child if not childish?

Is love childish?

My parents loved me….I'm sure…. I loved her… and I'm sure she loved me to.

No. Nobody feels love. I don't know the meaning of the word!

That's a lie. The meaning of the word is there.

The meaning of the word is Wendy.

I wish she had stayed… I wish I didn't have to say goodbye…

I hate goodbyes

Because good-bye means going away, and going away means forgetting.

She's not allowed to forget me…