Title: Questioning the Order
Author: Arldetta aka Knight MysAri
Disclaimers: Usual, I don't own SW, yadda yadda yadda, no money made, blah blah blah, Lucas Films.
Summary: A new member of the Republic has a Force Sensative child that they wish tested. But the Ambassador is not sure if they should. Qui-Gon and Obi- Wan are asked to help her understand the Jedi Order.
Author's Note: This was written to allow me to ask and answer some of my questions about the Jedi Order. Please tell me what you think. I would really appreciate it. Also, *'s denote italics. 's mean thoughts. Thank you for reading! : D
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"A mission we have for you. Delicate it is. Requires an open mind it does," Yoda announced. The Master and Padawan stood silent in the middle of the Council chamber.
Mace picked up the explanation, "We have received a request to test a child for training. The parents are willing to allow us to do so, but there is a question about our purpose in the Republic."
"You will be going to Zindle Beta. They have only become a member of the Republic a few months ago. And this is the first time a request has been made for us to test a child." Adi Gallia added.
"Ambassador Sieyan is a bit more than apprehensive about letting the child be tested. Beyond that she is even more wary of letting the child enter the Order." Mace followed with a glance toward the tiny green Master.
"Before to Zindle you go, take the Ambassador around the Temple you will. Show her what we do you will. Prove our cause you must. So trust may form. Understand do you?" Asked Yoda.
"Yes, Masters." Qui-Gon replied.
"May the Force be with you," concluded the dark Council member. The two bowed and left. Outside the council chamber they walked along in silence.
Once they were inside the lift tube, Obi-Wan asked, "Where will we meet Ambassador Sieyan?"
"More than likely, we will be picking her up at the Senate Building." Qui- Gon informed as they continued on through the Temple.
*****
Just as Qui-Gon predicted, the pair were heading for the Senate building to meet with the delegate. The airtaxi pulled up at a public transport terminal, and the Master and Padawan exited. Walking into the pristine building, they noticed a well-kept woman watching them from a lounge. Her leery gaze followed them as they approached. Her dress was simple and elegant, and captivating auburn eyes peered through soft blonde bangs. Qui- Gon verified, "Ambassador Sieyan?" At her nod, he continued, "I am Qui-Gon Jinn and this is my Apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi. We are here to escort you to our home and answer all your questions."
Her emotions remained hidden behind a reserved mask, questioning, "Your home? You mean the Temple correct?"
"Yes, the Temple is our home." Qui-Gon tried to clarify her uncertainty. His tone welcoming in order to convey the sincerity of his words. "Shall we go?" His arm extended from the brown robes to guide her out of the lounge.
The trip back was quiet as she keep her gaze set upon the two Jedi. Obi- Wan had to fight the urge to fidget under the piercing glare. He already couldn't wait for this simple mission to be over. His own vision turned to watch the passing speeders on the familiar journey home. As the tall spire of the High Council came into view, he had to suppress the sigh of relief. Once inside the comforting halls, Obi-Wan noticed how Qui-Gon barely reacted to the strict composure of the representative.
"Shall we begin in the crèche, Ambassabor? Since that is where all our new initiates spend their early years." Offering a calm smile, Qui-Gon lead the way on the tour. Sieyan drank in every image of the clean corridors and watched as Jedi of different ages and races passed by.
The group finished their walk through the nurseries and toddler rooms, to head towards the communal rooms of the younger children. Obi-Wan began to enjoy this little venture down memory lane as they bumped into old caregivers from his childhood. While he quickly spoke with his crèche Master from his pre-teen years, he realized that the Ambassador's attention wavered from Qui-Gon's descriptions to how Obi-Wan reacted with former Masters.
Obi-Wan smiled when they went past his old initiate room, but also felt a pang of old pain resurface as he remembered the way he had last left the room. Memories have a funny way of making a person feel both the joys and disappointments repeatedly with the same intensity as the first time they occurred. Returning to the present Obi-Wan could hear Qui-Gon carrying on his explanations of all the different living areas. He glanced toward the representative again and found her staring at him. Suddenly feeling awkward, he returned his gaze back to his Master, who seemed oblivious to her lack of interest.
Together they walked through some of the classrooms where the various subjects were taught to the growing Jedi. Eventually, they found their way to some of the training rooms where students were learning new katas and combat techniques. A couple of groups had been set into sparring matches, which seemed to capture Sieyan's interest for a time. Qui-Gon then led them through a number of the Temple's gardens and even introduced the guest to the Jedi's librarian, Jocasta Nu. They let the elderly Jedi woman, detail the libraries amenities as it was her place of expertise.
Next stopping at the extensive cafeteria, Qui-Gon offered the Ambassador a rest to take a moment and eat. She declined respectfully, expressing that she was not hungry. Qui-Gon accepted her response, and then did something unexpected. Obi-Wan was completely baffled by his Master's next move, but remained resolute. The trio paused for only a moment as Qui-Gon accessed the entry lock, and motioned for Sieyan to enter. Obi-Wan followed behind the Ambassador as they entered their apartment.
"I must finish prepping our things before departure, but I am sure Obi-Wan will be happy to tend to your needs in the meantime." Qui-Gon bowed slightly, and then headed into his room. Obi-Wan stood stunned for a moment by his Master's sudden exit. Sieyan barely noticed the abrupt exodus as her gaze fell once again to the Padawan.
Uncomfortable again, Obi-Wan turned his blue-green eyes to the floor to gather his composure, before returning her gaze. "Would you like some tea, Ambassador?" To his delight, she nodded. Excusing himself he quickly made his way into the small kitchen and placed a teapot on a heat source. He returned to the communal room to find the delegate examining the various images on their walls. "Please, make yourself at home," he offered. She turned to regard him and he put on his best smile to make her feel welcome. Amazingly, the older woman returned the gesture as she came to stand in front of him. "Is there anything else I can get you?"
Instead of answering his question, Sieyan posed a new one, "How often do you see your family?"
Taken aback by the unexpected question, Obi-Wan's thoughts reeled for a moment. Slowly as his mind resituated itself, answering, "I haven't seen them for a long time. When I was younger, I used to have scheduled trips to visit them. But once I decided to remain with the Jedi, the trips became less frequent and finally stopped a few years before I became a Padawan."
"Do you miss them?" Sieyan continued on her line of questioning.
"In a way, yes and also no." For some reason the thought had never really occurred to him before. "I remember my family, vaguely, but the Jedi are my family now."
"So you don't miss the people that brought you into this existence?" Her tone a bit more accusatory than before, her gaze burrowed into him.
"It's not that I don't thank them for giving me life, it's just that I don't really know them well enough to determine if I miss them in a companionship sense. In some ways, I do wish I had a mother and father in a traditional implication, but then I wouldn't have Master Qui-Gon, who has become my surrogate father." Obi-Wan tried to explain his reasoning but it sounded almost wrong when spoken aloud.
Sieyan pondered the information proffered to her as she moved back to examine the pictures and awards that adorned the walls. "You mentioned that you *chose* to become a Jedi. I don't see how this was really your choice when you have been in their care since infancy."
Obi-Wan still marveled at the Ambassador's questions, but began to understand her thinking. The Council had pointed out the delegate's apprehension on the upcoming testing of a Zindian child. He tried to assuage her fears by detailing as much of his life as possible in response to her questions. "When we are young, we are permitted to meet with our family on a regular basis, as I also mentioned. At one point, we are asked if we would like to remain at the Temple to continue our training or go back to our family. I chose to remain with the Jedi."
"Honestly, I don't see what other choice you had." She remarked as she turned back to him. A high pitched whistle interrupted the conversation, as the boiling water alerted them that it was indeed hot. Obi-Wan hastily, went to remove the pot and prepare the tea he had suggested earlier. He returned holding two mugs, one of which she accepted. After breathing in the scent of the contents, she relaxed a moment. Not yet savouring the hot liquid, she pressed on, "If you have known the Jedi all your life; lived, breathed, and existed in this Temple, why would you want to return to strangers?"
"Because of our visitations, they are not entirely strangers," Obi-Wan explained as he took a sip of his drink. "There have been a few initiates that decided to return to their biological families instead of remaining here."
"Have you gone on other *missions* like this? Testing a child's Force abilities?" Her tone softening after she partook of the steaming tea.
"Yes, I have done this before." He rolled his eyes and smiled at himself. Inwardly, he thought about those few similar missions and how easy they were compared to the often more dangerous and volatile outings he and his Master were generally sent on. His light mood sobered quickly at her next comment.
"Did you enjoy breaking families apart?" Sieyan had noticed his small smirk and misunderstood its meaning.
Immediately, he replied, "No. It's just that those missions were not like the dangerous ones we are usually sent on. But I take no pleasure in anyone's sorrow or regret. I understand how difficult it must be for parents to give up their child."
Interrupting him, Sieyan raised an eyebrow, "Oh really? You seem a bit young to have had a child of your own."
"Not personally, but as Jedi we tend to feel others emotions quite easily. And in some ways we share them." Remembering the grief of one woman as she handed her child over to a complete stranger, Obi-Wan took a gulp of his cooling tea. The pain in his heart as she cried her goodbye had haunted him.
"I am a mother and will soon be a grandmother, but in my heart and mind, I cannot comprehend how someone can let go of their child. The closest our culture has to something like your Temple is an orphanage. And my heart breaks every time I enter one, when I see the innocent lives destroyed by callous parents. Their dejected faces gazing up into those of whom they hope will want them." She paused as she took another sip of her drink, to quench the sudden dryness it felt. "I have also witnessed the travesty of a child dying in a family and how torn apart they were. Can you honestly tell me that a willing separation is not as devastating as a forced one?"
"No," he answered quietly. Staring into his half full mug, he tried not to drift into his memories. "It takes someone extremely strong to give up a child."
"Strong?" A small incredulous chortle escaped her. After another long moment, she added, "Maybe. When parents die, there is no avoiding an orphaned child and we can only strive to make their troubles easier. But I have learned that there are a few reasons as to why a parent would give up a child. Number one being that they never wanted the child in the first place. Which has other issues attached to that kind of mentality. Also, because they have no way to support the child and wish for the baby to have a better life, which does not always happen. I guess that it is easier to do if it were for a very good reason, but even then I would hesitate."
"The Jedi wish to help others, to relieve some of the suffering of the galaxy. To give up a family and struggle with the tribulations of Jedi life are small prices to pay to accomplish such goals. The Force guides us in our decisions, and we are encouraged to meditate and determine if our life lies along this path or not. All I ever wanted to do was become a Jedi Knight. I have seen many wars in my travels and along with war, death and devastation. But not once do I regret my decision. My only regret is that I cannot take away all the pain suffered by the galaxy. I know it's difficult to understand, but if there was ever a good reason to forsake the rearing of a child, then the Jedi is that reason." Obi-Wan spoke from his heart and his own words surprised him.
For a few minutes, they sat in silence, letting their discussion embed itself into their minds. "It seems you are wise beyond your years, young Jedi. Yet, for myself, despite your admirable conviction, I can not give my full consent." She watched as Obi-Wan glanced back down to his mug, and was surprised to see the worry in his youthful features. Evidently, Obi- Wan feared he had failed the mission already. "Has your life here aged you so, prematurely?"
"I'm sorry?" Again confused by her query, Obi-Wan apologized for his negligence.
"Young men on my world tend to enjoy their youth too much. They are carefree, mostly, and revel in their beliefs that they are immortal. A spark of life thrives in them, as they scurry about thinking that life is too short not to enjoy. Their youth and immaturity conflicting with the impending responsibility that awaits them. I'm sure it is not much different in other cultures." Her gaze held him in a strange form of pity. Obi-Wan shook his head slightly, still not fully understanding her meaning.
Seeing this, Sieyan continued, "When I look in your eyes, I can see that you bare more than your countenance should. You are young, but you are seasoned as well. It almost seems like the weight of the universe rests squarely on your shoulders. As if it's fate can only be guided and determined by how your hands mold it. I have seen that pressure on a number of the other Jedi here. Most of those have been Masters, while a few were like you. But none seem to carry that burden more than you." She came up to the Padawan and placed a hand gently on his upper arm. A smile brought on by sorrowful acceptance crossed her features.
"Have the gods, or the Force in your thinking, been fair to you? To take an infant from it's loving home and thrust him into the pains of the universe so that he may carry such profound onus? Raise him to face the ugliness of war and chaos? Learn how to deal with death? Teach him how to accept others beliefs and traditions when it could very well defy everything you have been taught? And all this responsibility while only a child?" Her inquisition ebbed at his distraught features.
Obi-Wan was completely off balance. His mind raced at the questioning he faced. Reeling, he stumbled back to land on a couch, searching his mind to find answers. Is that really what has happened to me? To the other initiates? To my Master? His pleading eyes stared at his examiner.
"Let me pose it to you this way; while on a war torn planet, I'm sure you have come across children, correct?" His nod confirmed her assumption. "And when you looked in their eyes, you could see the burden of said war weigh them down, right? From what you have told me, you would have done anything to save them from their pain, save them from having to deal with such horrors, save them from growing up before their time. Is that not also true?" Yes, he nodded, as the multitude of memories crashed into him.
"So I ask you now; would you willing allow a child to be placed in a similar situation? To live in a world where their innocence has been destroyed?" Immediately, Obi-Wan shook his head and mouthed the word, no. "Then, in all good conscience, why should I allow one of our children to enter the Jedi Order?"
Time stood still and Obi-Wan sat searching, ultimately finding no answer to her question. Finally after what seemed an eternity, Obi-Wan spoke, "I can not convince you that a Jedi life is for every being. I can not undo what has been done. I can not deny what has transpired in my life. I have seen many horrible things, dealt with many injustices, faced unspeakable pain. But I *can* tell you that I would not have given up a moment of it. I treasure my life as a Jedi, because I can help others. Despite the fact that I can not save everyone, the fact that I *can* save at least *one* being is enough to make all that I have suffered worth while.
"It is your decision, your choice, to permit the Jedi to test the child. But I implore you to search your heart, listen to your gods, in regards to the fate of the infant. We will heed your decision, but make sure it is what is best for your people, your world, as well as the rest of the galaxy and not what is best for you." Once finished his speech, Obi-Wan sat resolute in his confidence as to the course of his destiny. And hoped that by his example she might come to understand how necessary the Jedi are.
A moment later, their reticence was broken by Qui-Gon's return. "I have finished the last of our preparations," he announced. "Ambassador Sieyan, have you come to a decision regarding the testing of the child?" He watched the delegate with feint anticipation, but noticed that her gaze never left that of his Padawan's. Patiently, he waited for her response, and could see the internal battle waging within.
Minutes passed, when she at last broke her gaze, turning to face the Jedi Master. "My ship is ready and waiting, Master Jedi. We may leave as soon as you are able."
Bowing, Qui-Gon offered, "I extend to you our heartfelt gratitude for giving us and your people this opportunity to expand our horizons."
Sieyan nodded her thanks as well, but turned back to face Obi-Wan. "If it is possible to raise one so selfless and exceptional as your Apprentice, and that it may be done again with our own in your care, then I believe and trust that my decision was the correct one."
To that Qui-Gon agreed and expressed it so, "Yes, Obi-Wan is an extremely gifted Padawan. And I am proud of what he has become."
At this, Obi-Wan stood to face the Ambassador, he bowed just as Qui-Gon had, and said, "I thank you, Ambassador, for you understanding and acceptance. I assure you that it was the correct choice." And as he rose, he turned to regard his Master with a glorious smile, filled with pride and devotion. Sieyan witnessed the silent exchange of love and knew then that she had indeed made the proper choice.
Shortly after the exchange, the trio was travelling through the vastness of space toward Zindle Beta. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan met the family in question and tested the child. Satisfied with the results, they offered to accept the child into the Jedi Order if the parents so wished. After taking a day to reach their decision, they permitted the Jedi to take the infant. The first Zindian in the Order, but definitely not the last, the child grew up to become a great Jedi Knight.
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Now don't forget to review. I'm really, really interested in what you think. I accept all forms of criticism. Thanks again for reading!! : D
Author: Arldetta aka Knight MysAri
Disclaimers: Usual, I don't own SW, yadda yadda yadda, no money made, blah blah blah, Lucas Films.
Summary: A new member of the Republic has a Force Sensative child that they wish tested. But the Ambassador is not sure if they should. Qui-Gon and Obi- Wan are asked to help her understand the Jedi Order.
Author's Note: This was written to allow me to ask and answer some of my questions about the Jedi Order. Please tell me what you think. I would really appreciate it. Also, *'s denote italics. 's mean thoughts. Thank you for reading! : D
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------
"A mission we have for you. Delicate it is. Requires an open mind it does," Yoda announced. The Master and Padawan stood silent in the middle of the Council chamber.
Mace picked up the explanation, "We have received a request to test a child for training. The parents are willing to allow us to do so, but there is a question about our purpose in the Republic."
"You will be going to Zindle Beta. They have only become a member of the Republic a few months ago. And this is the first time a request has been made for us to test a child." Adi Gallia added.
"Ambassador Sieyan is a bit more than apprehensive about letting the child be tested. Beyond that she is even more wary of letting the child enter the Order." Mace followed with a glance toward the tiny green Master.
"Before to Zindle you go, take the Ambassador around the Temple you will. Show her what we do you will. Prove our cause you must. So trust may form. Understand do you?" Asked Yoda.
"Yes, Masters." Qui-Gon replied.
"May the Force be with you," concluded the dark Council member. The two bowed and left. Outside the council chamber they walked along in silence.
Once they were inside the lift tube, Obi-Wan asked, "Where will we meet Ambassador Sieyan?"
"More than likely, we will be picking her up at the Senate Building." Qui- Gon informed as they continued on through the Temple.
*****
Just as Qui-Gon predicted, the pair were heading for the Senate building to meet with the delegate. The airtaxi pulled up at a public transport terminal, and the Master and Padawan exited. Walking into the pristine building, they noticed a well-kept woman watching them from a lounge. Her leery gaze followed them as they approached. Her dress was simple and elegant, and captivating auburn eyes peered through soft blonde bangs. Qui- Gon verified, "Ambassador Sieyan?" At her nod, he continued, "I am Qui-Gon Jinn and this is my Apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi. We are here to escort you to our home and answer all your questions."
Her emotions remained hidden behind a reserved mask, questioning, "Your home? You mean the Temple correct?"
"Yes, the Temple is our home." Qui-Gon tried to clarify her uncertainty. His tone welcoming in order to convey the sincerity of his words. "Shall we go?" His arm extended from the brown robes to guide her out of the lounge.
The trip back was quiet as she keep her gaze set upon the two Jedi. Obi- Wan had to fight the urge to fidget under the piercing glare. He already couldn't wait for this simple mission to be over. His own vision turned to watch the passing speeders on the familiar journey home. As the tall spire of the High Council came into view, he had to suppress the sigh of relief. Once inside the comforting halls, Obi-Wan noticed how Qui-Gon barely reacted to the strict composure of the representative.
"Shall we begin in the crèche, Ambassabor? Since that is where all our new initiates spend their early years." Offering a calm smile, Qui-Gon lead the way on the tour. Sieyan drank in every image of the clean corridors and watched as Jedi of different ages and races passed by.
The group finished their walk through the nurseries and toddler rooms, to head towards the communal rooms of the younger children. Obi-Wan began to enjoy this little venture down memory lane as they bumped into old caregivers from his childhood. While he quickly spoke with his crèche Master from his pre-teen years, he realized that the Ambassador's attention wavered from Qui-Gon's descriptions to how Obi-Wan reacted with former Masters.
Obi-Wan smiled when they went past his old initiate room, but also felt a pang of old pain resurface as he remembered the way he had last left the room. Memories have a funny way of making a person feel both the joys and disappointments repeatedly with the same intensity as the first time they occurred. Returning to the present Obi-Wan could hear Qui-Gon carrying on his explanations of all the different living areas. He glanced toward the representative again and found her staring at him. Suddenly feeling awkward, he returned his gaze back to his Master, who seemed oblivious to her lack of interest.
Together they walked through some of the classrooms where the various subjects were taught to the growing Jedi. Eventually, they found their way to some of the training rooms where students were learning new katas and combat techniques. A couple of groups had been set into sparring matches, which seemed to capture Sieyan's interest for a time. Qui-Gon then led them through a number of the Temple's gardens and even introduced the guest to the Jedi's librarian, Jocasta Nu. They let the elderly Jedi woman, detail the libraries amenities as it was her place of expertise.
Next stopping at the extensive cafeteria, Qui-Gon offered the Ambassador a rest to take a moment and eat. She declined respectfully, expressing that she was not hungry. Qui-Gon accepted her response, and then did something unexpected. Obi-Wan was completely baffled by his Master's next move, but remained resolute. The trio paused for only a moment as Qui-Gon accessed the entry lock, and motioned for Sieyan to enter. Obi-Wan followed behind the Ambassador as they entered their apartment.
"I must finish prepping our things before departure, but I am sure Obi-Wan will be happy to tend to your needs in the meantime." Qui-Gon bowed slightly, and then headed into his room. Obi-Wan stood stunned for a moment by his Master's sudden exit. Sieyan barely noticed the abrupt exodus as her gaze fell once again to the Padawan.
Uncomfortable again, Obi-Wan turned his blue-green eyes to the floor to gather his composure, before returning her gaze. "Would you like some tea, Ambassador?" To his delight, she nodded. Excusing himself he quickly made his way into the small kitchen and placed a teapot on a heat source. He returned to the communal room to find the delegate examining the various images on their walls. "Please, make yourself at home," he offered. She turned to regard him and he put on his best smile to make her feel welcome. Amazingly, the older woman returned the gesture as she came to stand in front of him. "Is there anything else I can get you?"
Instead of answering his question, Sieyan posed a new one, "How often do you see your family?"
Taken aback by the unexpected question, Obi-Wan's thoughts reeled for a moment. Slowly as his mind resituated itself, answering, "I haven't seen them for a long time. When I was younger, I used to have scheduled trips to visit them. But once I decided to remain with the Jedi, the trips became less frequent and finally stopped a few years before I became a Padawan."
"Do you miss them?" Sieyan continued on her line of questioning.
"In a way, yes and also no." For some reason the thought had never really occurred to him before. "I remember my family, vaguely, but the Jedi are my family now."
"So you don't miss the people that brought you into this existence?" Her tone a bit more accusatory than before, her gaze burrowed into him.
"It's not that I don't thank them for giving me life, it's just that I don't really know them well enough to determine if I miss them in a companionship sense. In some ways, I do wish I had a mother and father in a traditional implication, but then I wouldn't have Master Qui-Gon, who has become my surrogate father." Obi-Wan tried to explain his reasoning but it sounded almost wrong when spoken aloud.
Sieyan pondered the information proffered to her as she moved back to examine the pictures and awards that adorned the walls. "You mentioned that you *chose* to become a Jedi. I don't see how this was really your choice when you have been in their care since infancy."
Obi-Wan still marveled at the Ambassador's questions, but began to understand her thinking. The Council had pointed out the delegate's apprehension on the upcoming testing of a Zindian child. He tried to assuage her fears by detailing as much of his life as possible in response to her questions. "When we are young, we are permitted to meet with our family on a regular basis, as I also mentioned. At one point, we are asked if we would like to remain at the Temple to continue our training or go back to our family. I chose to remain with the Jedi."
"Honestly, I don't see what other choice you had." She remarked as she turned back to him. A high pitched whistle interrupted the conversation, as the boiling water alerted them that it was indeed hot. Obi-Wan hastily, went to remove the pot and prepare the tea he had suggested earlier. He returned holding two mugs, one of which she accepted. After breathing in the scent of the contents, she relaxed a moment. Not yet savouring the hot liquid, she pressed on, "If you have known the Jedi all your life; lived, breathed, and existed in this Temple, why would you want to return to strangers?"
"Because of our visitations, they are not entirely strangers," Obi-Wan explained as he took a sip of his drink. "There have been a few initiates that decided to return to their biological families instead of remaining here."
"Have you gone on other *missions* like this? Testing a child's Force abilities?" Her tone softening after she partook of the steaming tea.
"Yes, I have done this before." He rolled his eyes and smiled at himself. Inwardly, he thought about those few similar missions and how easy they were compared to the often more dangerous and volatile outings he and his Master were generally sent on. His light mood sobered quickly at her next comment.
"Did you enjoy breaking families apart?" Sieyan had noticed his small smirk and misunderstood its meaning.
Immediately, he replied, "No. It's just that those missions were not like the dangerous ones we are usually sent on. But I take no pleasure in anyone's sorrow or regret. I understand how difficult it must be for parents to give up their child."
Interrupting him, Sieyan raised an eyebrow, "Oh really? You seem a bit young to have had a child of your own."
"Not personally, but as Jedi we tend to feel others emotions quite easily. And in some ways we share them." Remembering the grief of one woman as she handed her child over to a complete stranger, Obi-Wan took a gulp of his cooling tea. The pain in his heart as she cried her goodbye had haunted him.
"I am a mother and will soon be a grandmother, but in my heart and mind, I cannot comprehend how someone can let go of their child. The closest our culture has to something like your Temple is an orphanage. And my heart breaks every time I enter one, when I see the innocent lives destroyed by callous parents. Their dejected faces gazing up into those of whom they hope will want them." She paused as she took another sip of her drink, to quench the sudden dryness it felt. "I have also witnessed the travesty of a child dying in a family and how torn apart they were. Can you honestly tell me that a willing separation is not as devastating as a forced one?"
"No," he answered quietly. Staring into his half full mug, he tried not to drift into his memories. "It takes someone extremely strong to give up a child."
"Strong?" A small incredulous chortle escaped her. After another long moment, she added, "Maybe. When parents die, there is no avoiding an orphaned child and we can only strive to make their troubles easier. But I have learned that there are a few reasons as to why a parent would give up a child. Number one being that they never wanted the child in the first place. Which has other issues attached to that kind of mentality. Also, because they have no way to support the child and wish for the baby to have a better life, which does not always happen. I guess that it is easier to do if it were for a very good reason, but even then I would hesitate."
"The Jedi wish to help others, to relieve some of the suffering of the galaxy. To give up a family and struggle with the tribulations of Jedi life are small prices to pay to accomplish such goals. The Force guides us in our decisions, and we are encouraged to meditate and determine if our life lies along this path or not. All I ever wanted to do was become a Jedi Knight. I have seen many wars in my travels and along with war, death and devastation. But not once do I regret my decision. My only regret is that I cannot take away all the pain suffered by the galaxy. I know it's difficult to understand, but if there was ever a good reason to forsake the rearing of a child, then the Jedi is that reason." Obi-Wan spoke from his heart and his own words surprised him.
For a few minutes, they sat in silence, letting their discussion embed itself into their minds. "It seems you are wise beyond your years, young Jedi. Yet, for myself, despite your admirable conviction, I can not give my full consent." She watched as Obi-Wan glanced back down to his mug, and was surprised to see the worry in his youthful features. Evidently, Obi- Wan feared he had failed the mission already. "Has your life here aged you so, prematurely?"
"I'm sorry?" Again confused by her query, Obi-Wan apologized for his negligence.
"Young men on my world tend to enjoy their youth too much. They are carefree, mostly, and revel in their beliefs that they are immortal. A spark of life thrives in them, as they scurry about thinking that life is too short not to enjoy. Their youth and immaturity conflicting with the impending responsibility that awaits them. I'm sure it is not much different in other cultures." Her gaze held him in a strange form of pity. Obi-Wan shook his head slightly, still not fully understanding her meaning.
Seeing this, Sieyan continued, "When I look in your eyes, I can see that you bare more than your countenance should. You are young, but you are seasoned as well. It almost seems like the weight of the universe rests squarely on your shoulders. As if it's fate can only be guided and determined by how your hands mold it. I have seen that pressure on a number of the other Jedi here. Most of those have been Masters, while a few were like you. But none seem to carry that burden more than you." She came up to the Padawan and placed a hand gently on his upper arm. A smile brought on by sorrowful acceptance crossed her features.
"Have the gods, or the Force in your thinking, been fair to you? To take an infant from it's loving home and thrust him into the pains of the universe so that he may carry such profound onus? Raise him to face the ugliness of war and chaos? Learn how to deal with death? Teach him how to accept others beliefs and traditions when it could very well defy everything you have been taught? And all this responsibility while only a child?" Her inquisition ebbed at his distraught features.
Obi-Wan was completely off balance. His mind raced at the questioning he faced. Reeling, he stumbled back to land on a couch, searching his mind to find answers. Is that really what has happened to me? To the other initiates? To my Master? His pleading eyes stared at his examiner.
"Let me pose it to you this way; while on a war torn planet, I'm sure you have come across children, correct?" His nod confirmed her assumption. "And when you looked in their eyes, you could see the burden of said war weigh them down, right? From what you have told me, you would have done anything to save them from their pain, save them from having to deal with such horrors, save them from growing up before their time. Is that not also true?" Yes, he nodded, as the multitude of memories crashed into him.
"So I ask you now; would you willing allow a child to be placed in a similar situation? To live in a world where their innocence has been destroyed?" Immediately, Obi-Wan shook his head and mouthed the word, no. "Then, in all good conscience, why should I allow one of our children to enter the Jedi Order?"
Time stood still and Obi-Wan sat searching, ultimately finding no answer to her question. Finally after what seemed an eternity, Obi-Wan spoke, "I can not convince you that a Jedi life is for every being. I can not undo what has been done. I can not deny what has transpired in my life. I have seen many horrible things, dealt with many injustices, faced unspeakable pain. But I *can* tell you that I would not have given up a moment of it. I treasure my life as a Jedi, because I can help others. Despite the fact that I can not save everyone, the fact that I *can* save at least *one* being is enough to make all that I have suffered worth while.
"It is your decision, your choice, to permit the Jedi to test the child. But I implore you to search your heart, listen to your gods, in regards to the fate of the infant. We will heed your decision, but make sure it is what is best for your people, your world, as well as the rest of the galaxy and not what is best for you." Once finished his speech, Obi-Wan sat resolute in his confidence as to the course of his destiny. And hoped that by his example she might come to understand how necessary the Jedi are.
A moment later, their reticence was broken by Qui-Gon's return. "I have finished the last of our preparations," he announced. "Ambassador Sieyan, have you come to a decision regarding the testing of the child?" He watched the delegate with feint anticipation, but noticed that her gaze never left that of his Padawan's. Patiently, he waited for her response, and could see the internal battle waging within.
Minutes passed, when she at last broke her gaze, turning to face the Jedi Master. "My ship is ready and waiting, Master Jedi. We may leave as soon as you are able."
Bowing, Qui-Gon offered, "I extend to you our heartfelt gratitude for giving us and your people this opportunity to expand our horizons."
Sieyan nodded her thanks as well, but turned back to face Obi-Wan. "If it is possible to raise one so selfless and exceptional as your Apprentice, and that it may be done again with our own in your care, then I believe and trust that my decision was the correct one."
To that Qui-Gon agreed and expressed it so, "Yes, Obi-Wan is an extremely gifted Padawan. And I am proud of what he has become."
At this, Obi-Wan stood to face the Ambassador, he bowed just as Qui-Gon had, and said, "I thank you, Ambassador, for you understanding and acceptance. I assure you that it was the correct choice." And as he rose, he turned to regard his Master with a glorious smile, filled with pride and devotion. Sieyan witnessed the silent exchange of love and knew then that she had indeed made the proper choice.
Shortly after the exchange, the trio was travelling through the vastness of space toward Zindle Beta. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan met the family in question and tested the child. Satisfied with the results, they offered to accept the child into the Jedi Order if the parents so wished. After taking a day to reach their decision, they permitted the Jedi to take the infant. The first Zindian in the Order, but definitely not the last, the child grew up to become a great Jedi Knight.
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