Eli Goldsworthy had everything a kid could ask for. A car, good grades, an awesome best friend, a perfect girlfriend, amazing parents and he was happy.
He was such a great kid. He kept close to those who were good for him. He did all his work and bothered no one.
But as the months went by, his perfect life seemed to fade away. For whatever reason, he became the victim of bullying. It all started in October.
He was often shoved against lockers. He had his books slapped from his hand and some verbal words, too, were spewed from the mouths of bullies. They call him 'freak', 'psycho', 'grim' anything that seemed to fit his persona. All because he was different.
His girlfriend would always sit down with him and tell him to ignore the harsh words. And he'd respond, "I know, Why should I waste despair on those whose opinions don't matter."
He said he didn't care what they said about his dark demeanor; this was who he was. He would never change because of some jackasses. He told her he would only take criticism from those whom he loved. He didn't care what they said, he told her time and time again. But he did care; words hurt. He was only assuring her. He didn't want to make her worry.
In the beginning, the bullying was kept to a minimal. They didn't bother him much, but then, once, he cried. A single tear, that's all it was, and it was because they shoved him rather hard into the water fountain, busting his lip.
But it still counts, they said. He was officially the cry-baby of Degrassi, at least to them. Most students discouraged their bullying, but there were ones who participated to raise their own confidence and self worth. The majority of them came from trouble families and were like a parrot; whatever their parents said to them, they repeated at school, to Eli.
She, his girlfriend, tried to wager with the bullies. She offered to do their homework, but they wanted more. More than what she was willing to do. He kept her close when they were alone, but come the bullies and he pushed her away, telling her he'd catch up with her. It was a battle he wanted to fight himself, he told her.
One day, he came to her house late at night, with a black eye and a swollen lip. It was her father who'd answered, actually. He gasped when he saw him. But Eli didn't want to see Randall, he wanted to see his girlfriend. He called her downstairs and left the teens alone.
She asked him what had happened, and he tried to make up something, but she forced the truth out of him. "I ran into Fitz and his friends." He admitted. Fitz was the leader of the gang of bullies. "I can't go home like this. My parents worry enough." He didn't even want to come to her house, but he had no where else.
She got ice to his lip and held him for an hour until her father came downstairs. He didn't ask any questions yet, but he told Eli that, if he needed, he could spend the night on the couch.
He spent the night there, crying for half of it, but in the morning, he assured both her and her parents that he was fine and that Fitz and his friends were just playing too rough. All three of them knew he wasn't alright in the least.
When they were alone, Eli and Clare, he assured her he could handle the bullying. It was just a busted lip, just a black eye: all temporary. "I have to focus on getting into NYU." He said, "I can't waste time stressing over a few measly bullies."
And then he fought back. He punched Fitz of them, and they all charged in, See, usually Fitz was the only one who ever hit Eli and he did most of the teasing. But when he attacked the 'leader' the others snapped.
They threw him to the ground and mobbed him until a crowd has gathered. Then they ran away, afraid to get in any real trouble.
Eli just stood up and limped, gripping his side which had a sharp pain building up in it. Several kids asked if he was okay and Clare, who'd saw the crowd gather, shoved through the mob of people, calling Eli's name.
"I'm fine." He said to anyone who asked. Once Clare reached him, he was pulling open the door to the parking lot. "Eli!" She grabbed his hand and turned him around, "Are you okay?" She caressed his swelling cheek, "Oh my God..." Tears began to spill from her eyes.
"I'm fine, Clare." He assured, "I'm not gonna let them get to me." He lied. But tears had welled up in his eyes, rolled down his face and covered his cheeks. He had two black eyes, a busted lip, swollen cheeks and, in a few hours, there'd be bruised coating a majority of his body.
"No, you're not fine. I have to get you to the nurse." She began to pull him, but he yanked his hand from hers, "No. I mean, I just-I'm gonna sit in the car." He pushed open the door and stepped into the cold weather. Clare followed him, but he turned to her, "I want to be alone."
That was a first. Never before had he pushed her away like that. She was the one who'd always been there for him. She'd been the one who always held him. And now he was basically telling her he didn't need her.
Sulking to his car, he climbed in, and was planning on sleeping in the back, but could see Principle Simpson walking towards him, looking concerned. Quickly starting the car car, Eli drove out of the lot and down the road.
3 days went by before anyone heard from Eli. He showed up at school days later, after being missing for days, looking not any better than before. He had on a long sleeved hoodie, trying to hide his bruised face.
"Eli?" He heard the small voice of his girlfriend behind him. He didn't bother turning around. he didn't have to; she knew it was him. Her arms wrapped around his body, squeezing the still-fresh bruises, making him let out a high pitched noise.
"Where have you been? I've been so worried." After closing his locker, he turned to her and looked down. And then she saw it: there was no life left in his eyes. They sagged; he was tired. They weren't vibrant and colorful anymore; just dull and lifeless.
"Eli..." She caressed his cheek, "Where've you been?" She asked. "I went for a drive." His voice croaked and she felt like he was going to break down right there. "Come sit down." She pulled him from his locker and to a corridor where no other students crowded.
The sat in a corner. "I've been so worried." She said again. "I know. I'm sorry." But she wasn't done, "You didn't answer my calls, my texts..."
His lip twitched, "I just needed a break from everything." She hugged him and kissed his cheek; his lips were still too swollen to touch, "You're gonna get through this." She promised. "Yeah. I know." But he wasn't so sure.
A month passed, but things didn't get much better. And, one day, in his bedroom, Clare came in at the wrong time. He was in the middle of a nap, shirtless, and she saw them.
Dozens of cuts, from his wrist to his shoulder. Deep, jagged ones. Clearly infected. And that wasn't it, either. There were several on his hips and stomach.
"Eli!" His eyes seemed to rip open. "...What? Clare-" He sat up off his bed and pulled a sheet over him. "You're-You're parents let me in-what is all this?!" She pulled the cover off of him and stared, in shock, at the cuts that covered his body.
So that's why he'd been wearing long sleeves. That's why he'd become less intimate.
Eli sat up and covered himself, "It's nothing." He snapped. "Eli..." She sat down and laced their fingers together, "Just talk to me, Eli."
"I can't. I'm fine." He choked out. "You're not fine, I know you're not!" She yelled. "Shh, shh." He hissed, not wanting his parents to hear, "What are you even doing here?" He whispered.
"I came to spend time with you." She muttered, tracing the slashes on his wrist. "You should go."
She refused to leave, as much as he insisted. Instead, she just spent the day in bed with him, kissing each cut and kissing him.
His life only seemed to worsen. He distanced himself more from his friends, family and the girlfriend he loved so much. He managed to convince her, Clare, that he was fine, but he wasn't.
The bullying was mostly verbal now, but that was what stung worse. Eventually, Eli hardly ever smiled. He didn't see Clare often, as he spent all his time on the roof, which he didn't tell her about.
One day, she went up there by chance and found him. "Eli," She sat beside him, "We really need to talk." He froze. He knew this was coming. She was breaking up with him. She agreed with Fitz and his friends and was breaking up with this poor excuse of a human.
He didn't respond, just intertwined their fingers, "Okay."
"It's not fair to both of us that you just hide away and we don't talk or anything." She said. "I'm just so sad...I don't want to get you down." A first. He admitted he was sad. He admitted he had a problem.
"But I can help!" She cried, "I can hold you and tell you it will be okay. This," She motioned between them, "Isn't going to work if we don't see each other!" He closed his eyes, squeezing tears out, "Meet me at the hearse when classes are over. You can come over." It was a feeble attempt; he was trying to keep together something that was already broken.
"You have to go to Simpson about the bullying. He already knows, he just needs you to tell him your side and he can suspend or maybe even expel Fitz and his crew.
"Please don't make me." He begged, looking terrified. "Okay," She said, "But just...please, think about it." She snuggled against him, happy to finally be at his side. He felt the same, and put his arm around her.
"So, where to?" She asked him when they met up after school. "Anywhere you want, love. My house?" He patted the seat next to him and she scooted close. He had a hoodie on, hiding his face, she noticed. "What happened?" She pulled down the hoodie and frowned at the black eye, "Eli."
He took in a breath, "Nothing. It's fine." She didn't push it, just hugged him the entire drive to his house. His parents smiled when they saw her. They frowned at Eli's eye. They tried to talk to him, but he just mumbled and pulled Clare upstairs.
"They're really worried about you." She said in his room. "They shouldn't be." That was it. That was the final straw. She grabbed his hand and pulled up his sleeve, "They 'shouldn't be'?!" She demanded, "They shouldn't be worried, Eli? What if they knew about this? What if I told them?!"
"Don't." He snapped, trying to be stronger than her, but she wasn't having that. "Why not? They have a right to know what's going on with their son's life. You could be stopping them! You could just go to Simpson or Dawes or your parents! But you don't and just let them keep bullying you and hurt yourself!" She was yelling now, not caring if his parents heard.
"Get out." He seethed. "Eli, we're going to-"
"No, get out!" He said louder, shoving her away from him, "You don't understand, just get out!" He was yelling, too, now. She bit her lip and resisted crying, "Fine." She said, "Talk to me when you want help."
The next day, he came to school late. Walking through the halls, he passed Clare— she didn't see him— and went straight to where Fitz was. "Hey, freak. Come for another beating?" They laughed for a second and waited for a response.
"Not this time." Revealing a pistol from inside his jacket, he was quick in shooting them all, multiple times, saving Ftiz for last. The shots echoed through the halls, terrifying students. They all took off running, screaming. Clare was left in the hall, staring at Eli, beginning to approach him before she was pulled away
He sat down then, in the middle of the 6 dead bodies and didn't move. He didn't think this through. He'd planned the shooting for months now, but he didn't think of what to do afterwards. There were only 2 options. He could get arrested or shoot himself. He had 2 bullets left and couldn't decide what to do with them. There were sirens in the distance and he knew he had to think quick.
Then the SWAT team was inside and he just slid the gun across the floor, not even caring. They first had began to give him a speech about so much more in life, but he ignored it, and just slid the gun across the floor, not even caring, "Just arrest me." He muttered, standing up only to get on his knees, put him hands behind his head and lay down.
They marched him out of the school, past classrooms that were on lock down. Students crowded around the windows and watched him, including his girlfriend, who broke down. He gave her a sad smile, trying to say everything would be alright.
It didn't help, though. She sat in the corner and sobbed into her knees. Jake was in there with her and he tried to comfort her, but nothing could make it better.
Eli was soon at the police station with a detective, asking him lots of questions. The biggest one, he couldn't "
"I don't know. But it's too late to take it back now, isn't it?"