Set post X3 but all characters made it through alive and relatively intact.
Pure fluff, pretty dumb but I hope amusing in it's own way…
"Kitty! Come see this." Jubilee called, much too loudly, to her friend who was only across their shared bedroom. Kitty came over and peered over her shoulder, reading the computer screen in front of them.
"No way!" She shouted, uncharacteristically getting over-excited.
"We gotta tell everyone." Jubilee hit print and they both stared at the printer, waiting impatiently. As soon as the paper was spit out Kitty yanked it out and tore down the hall after Jubilee.
"What's going on with you two?" Scott demanded as they ran by the office he was leaving. They skidded to a stop and Kitty thrust the paper at him.
"They want to make a movie about us."
"What?" Scott replied trying to read the dancing words in front of his visor.
"The X-Men, someone wants to make a movie about us." Jubilee said.
"Us?" Scott's tone reminded her that being a junior member in training didn't qualify her to 'us' status just yet. He took the paper from Kitty, read it, then left down the hall without another word with it.
Jubilee went to go after him but Kitty took her arm and pulled her back into focus. They found a few of the boys in the tv room. Jubilee launched herself onto the couch next to St John and Kitty sat on the arm next to Bobby. "Guess what?" Jubilee asked St John.
"What? I'm busy." He said, annoyed.
"No you're not, you're watching football, no one cares about football." Kitty jumped in before they could start fighting in earnest.
"They want to make a movie about the X-men."
"What? Seriously?" St John said.
"Yup." Kitty and Jubilee explained what little they'd read on the internet.
"Sweet." St John said.
"It'll never happen." Bobby stated.
"What makes you so sure?" Jubilee demanded.
"It's a security risk, there's no way the Professor or Scott will allow it to happen." Bobby told them. He'd only recently started calling Mr. Summers Scott and he found it more natural the more he said it.
"Bobby's right." Piotr said from the table where he was drawing.
"Geez, you guys sure are party poopers." Kitty said making a face. She had come to the same conclusion before the paper that Scott had confiscated even left the printer, but she was still young enough to want to get caught up in the fun of it all.
"Well I don't accept your comments and therefore dismiss them." Jubilee declared, bouncing up off the couch. "I'm going to make a list of actors to play us." Kitty followed her out of the room.
"Great idea." Kitty told her, it would be fun and a nice distraction from life's real issues. They ran into Rogue in the hallway and they shared the news with her who told them as well that it would never happen.
"She's no fun anymore." Jubilee declared. Ever since Rogue had gotten the cure, joined the senior team then broken up with Bobby she'd gotten more distant.
"Yeah well, maybe we'll show her our list to cheer her up." Kitty said.
"Good plan." Jubilee replied. "Hey! Warren!" She called out to Angel as she caught sight of his wings in the corridor. They told everyone they were friends with on the way back to their room and soon the whole school was buzzing.
Kitty and Jubilee soon had their preliminary list up." "Too bad Mystique got cured, she could've played everyone!" Jubilee declared.
"True but the special effects people would have a hard time putting four or five of her in every scene, besides, how's she supposed to fight herself."
"Excellent points, no wonder you're the brains of this operation." Jubilee told Kitty.
"You can say that again." A male voice from the doorway interrupted.
"Who asked you smoke-for-brains?" Jubilee asked.
"Please! No fighting, I'm trying to avoid real work here." Kitty told them, "And playing referee is definitely real work."
"Fine. What do you have so far?" St John sauntered into the room. The girls shared what they had and St John was rather impressed but made some of his own suggestions. Pretty soon the girls' room was packed with students, all with their own opinions on which actor should play which of the X-men and of course the Brotherhood as well.
"Ok, who should play Piotr?" Someone asked.
"Triple H!"
"Edge!"
"Shawn Michaels."
"Shawn Michaels?" Piotr said indignantly.
"Enough with the wrestlers!" Jubilee complained. "What about Kitty?"
"That chick from Juno."
"No, the one from ER, that nurse, Sam-something."
"Linda Cardellini."
"Yeah her."
"Or Ellen Page."
"Who?"
"The chick from Juno."
"Oh, ok, yeah, totally, her!"
"What about Bobby?"
"Zac Effron." That was Jubilee.
"No way!" That was Bobby and St John.
"Ok fine, what about that guy from The Ruins?"
"What guy? The skinny one?"
"No, the other one, with the blue eyes."
"But he's so scruffy!" Jubilee again.
"He could shave ya know."
"Yeah all right, what's his name?"
"Shawn something."
"I'll look it up." Jimmy said turning to the computer. "Shawn Ashmore."
"Ok, added to the list." Kitty told them. "What about Warren?"
"That guy that plays Draco Malfoy."
"No way." Warren said.
"Who then?"
"Ben Foster." Warren answered easily.
"Who's that?"
"He was in 30 Days of Night, Hostage, Six Feet Under, Freaks & Geeks?" He snorted when they all gave him blank stares. He suddenly felt the age gap and felt sullen. His mood brightened a moment later though when Jimmy showed an internet picture of Ben Foster to the group.
"Nah, he's not good looking enough to play Warren, we'll come back to him. What about St John?" The girls seemed to agree and Warren jumped right in.
"Aaron Stanford."
"Who?"
"He was in The Hills Have Eyes." Warren explained.
"What are you? The king of obscure actors no one's heard of before?" Jubilee asked.
"There's more to life than High School Musical you know." He told her.
"Here's his picture." Jimmy said, showing them and heading off a fight.
"Meh." St John said, which was as close to an approval as they were going to get.
"I thought of someone for Piotr." Jubilee piped up after a few more minutes of general discussion. "Vincent Ventresca."
"Who?"
"He's been on a bunch of things, I saw him on CSI Miami and looked him up, he was The Invisible Man, and I watched all the episodes on YouTube, and there's a fan site, The Vincent Ventresca Shirtless Brigade and-"
"Enough!" Kitty stopped her with a smile and a raised hand. "Jimmy?"
"Here he is." Jimmy said after doing the requisite search, "You know maybe someone else could look up the guys?" His plea fell on deaf ears as the group was debating Jubilee's pick.
"It's good enough for now." Kitty declared. "What about Rogue?" Several suggestions were thrown out before Kitty heard one she liked. "Anna Paquin."
"Who?"
"That chick from True Blood."
"That's not all she's done."
"What else?"
"Tons of stuff."
"Like what?"
"Who cares? She's hot." St John said. Jimmy had been happy to look up a girl again and showed them the gallery of pictures. There were murmurs of agreement, even from the girls.
"She won an Oscar when she was eleven." Warren provided.
"Really? Wow."
"For what?"
"The Piano."
"Never heard of it."
"You're too young to watch it." Warren ducked as a pillow flew at his head. "Seriously, full-frontal male nudity." There was a chorus of 'ew' and 'gross' even though half the room was over eighteen.
Piotr moved over to the computer and started his own search while the room continued to discuss other actors for other members of the school, the team, even Magneto's Brotherhood. "Found it." He declared a few minutes later.
"What?"
"Who I want to play me. Daniel Cudmore, I saw him on Stargate once." Piotr showed them the picture and Kitty wrote the name down.
"Good choice Piotr, he's a total hottie." Piotr relinquished his seat to Jubilee to hide his embarrassment.
Half an hour later Kitty declared the list finished and ran through the wall towards the copy room.
The Professor's Office"It's not half bad." Logan declared.
"It's irrelevant." Scott said sourly.
"It inspired imagination did it not?" Kurt offered carefully. Scott was forced to concede.
"They were just excited about the prospect of mutants being seen as heroes." Jean said.
"They casted the Brotherhood as well." Ororo said.
"But not exactly in the most flattering way." Logan replied, then read aloud from the list. "Magneto: that old dude who played Gandalf." Logan smirked. "Mystique: some blue bitch (okay fine, Rebecco Romijn). Toad: mangled car crash victim in green paint (Warren is making me write Ray Park). Sabretooth: Tobey Keith (only hairer)."
Jean's smirk matched Logan's, Kurt was ducking his head to avoid being seen laughing, Ororo was rolling her eyes, Scott sat stonily and the Professor was holding his head in his hands, mostly to keep Scott from seeing his amusement.
"What's the rest of the list say?" Jean asked.
"Professor Grey: Famke Janssen."
"Who?"
"She was Xenia Onatopp in a James Bond film." Scott supplied, finally cracking a smile.
"Professor Summers: James Marsden."
"Ooo!" Ororo jumped in, "He was the guy in 27 Dresses."
"Hmmm, nice pick." Jean said smiling at her husband.
"Professor Munroe: Halle Berry." Logan whistled. "Not a bad choice, I saw her in Swordfish the other night." Logan lifted an eyebrow suggestively making Ororo blush. She'd seen the movie, Halle Berry was topless at one point.
"Professor Wagner: Ray Park or Allen Cumming. Guess they couldn't decide." Logan continued.
"Do you know who Ray Park is? He's on the list twice." Jean asked.
"He's a Scottish stuntman." Scott supplied before Logan could speak. Logan paused, searching Scott's face for a moment before continuing.
"Professor Xavier: Patrick Stewart."
"Captain Picard? I can see ze resemblance." Kurt commented and The Professor smiled at him.
"Hank McCoy: Kelsey Grammer."
"I am sure our old friend would appreciate that." The Professor commented.
"Professor Logan:-" He stopped abruptly and looked towards the door, a moment later they all heard a knock.
"Come in." The Professor said out loud for the benefit of the room and in the head of the person knocking.
"Rogue. You're just in time to hear who the students picked to play Logan in the movie." The Professor welcomed her into the room.
"You approve of the movie?" Rogue asked surprised.
"Not exactly." He replied, "But the list Kitty, Jubilee and the others came up with is rather amusing and shows some imagination." Rogue nodded and stepped over to where Logan was leaning against The Professor's desk. She leaned in and took the list from him without asking. Jean and Ororo exchanged a look, no one else would have been able to do that, not even Jean.
Rogue began to smile as she read, "Professor Logan." She started reading aloud, "Hugh Jackman." She pulled the paper to cover her face up to her eyes, which refused to meet Logan's, afraid he'd see the amusement at his expression in them. Logan had snorted and successfully looked mildly offended but he was secretly not unhappy about the comparison.
Scott shook his head, Logan as good looking as Hugh Jackman? Whatever! Then he got worried, that was a rather gay thought, that didn't make him gay right? It's not like he had a problem with homosexuals, he just wasn't one of them…right? Scott, relax. Jean's voice in his head told him he must have been projecting. Think about Xenia Onatopp instead. Scott calmed and thought about having the best wife ever.
"Well they hit the nail on the head with that one." Ororo remarked.
"Now that we're all here, I think it's time to start the meeting." The Professor declared. Rogue folded up the list and slid it into her pocket as she took a seat in one of the chairs. Ororo and Jean exchanged another look as Logan moved to perch on the arm of the chair Rogue sat in. Interesting. Jean remarked in Ororo's head, her friend nodded.
"So I looked into the possibility of this X-Men movie venture and it appears that it started as a small underground movement by some college film students. Since then the idea has gained popularity and a cult following." The Professor leaned forward and put his elbows on his desk then steepled his fingers. "My concern is that the idea will gain popularity and gain the interest of Hollywood. So the question now is, what do we do about it?"
"Forgive me." Kurt spoke, "But vat vould be the harm if zey did this movie?"
"Possibly nothing." The Professor explained, "But we have to consider the worst case scenario. A movie could pique the government's interest in us again. The school could get negative interest, we could lose the anonymity that makes this place a safe haven. I am not typically in favor of censorship but in this case I am afraid we should do what we can to discourage the interest in this movie. I'd like to hear your thoughts."
"We could spam the fan sites, shutting them down." Ororo said.
"More would just pop back up." Jean said.
"We could get a court injunction against it." Scott suggested.
"That thought had occurred to me and I have spoken to my lawyers about it. Apparently we're right on the cusp of 'public figure', which makes it legal for people to imitate us. If we fall on the side of 'private citizens' it is a possibility." The Professor told them.
"We could discredit the idea, start our own websites against the movie." Logan said.
"That could lead to anti-mutant sites." Jean replied.
"We could design a virus." Kurt said.
"What do you mean?" Ororo asked.
"From vat I understand, a virus could target the fan sites and shut them down automatically, eliminating ze need to monitor ze internet." Kurt explained.
"That's not a bad idea." Scott said. The room started to discuss it and when a lull in the conversation appeared Rogue spoke.
"Or we could make the movie first." Logan frowned then looked at her with surprise.
"What do you mean?" Jean encouraged her to go on as the room had suddenly gone silent with all eyes on her.
"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." Rogue said then explained, "The movie could be an inevitability, and if we made the movie, we could control what was in it."
"But-" Scott started,
"It's so crazy it just might work." Jean said with a smile.
"But-" Scott tried again.
"Ze idea has its merits." Kurt agreed.
"But-"
"Do we have the money for a venture of that sort?" Ororo addressed The Professor.
"But-" Scott finally gave up.
"We would need some investors, but yes, I do believe that with some work we could afford to do it." The Professor was looking at Rogue as well, he was wondering if she would speak up at all in the meeting and then she had come up with this.
"I think we should do it." Logan spoke up. Scott snorted.
"Whaddaya mean by that?" Logan stood but didn't go any closer to Scott. Scott sat forward and opened his mouth to speak but The Professor stopped the two men.
"You all have come up with some good ideas, I'm going to explore the possibilities of all of them and we'll meet again next week." He dismissed them and all but Scott filed out. They all went their separate ways and Rogue made her way to her new room in the teacher's wing where she took the list out of her pocket to look more closely at.
There were a few names she was unfamiliar with so she had to look them up but overall she thought it was pretty clever. She decided to assign her English class plotlines to a possible X-Men movie and see where it went. There was a knock on her door. "Logan." She said with a little surprise when she opened the door.
"Hey." He walked in without being asked and she closed the door behind him. "Did you read the rest of the list?"
"I did." She told him of her plan to assign her students screenplays. "I'm sure I'll get all sorts of wild ideas but if they're all so ready to be celebrities this'll be a way to indulge their fantasies."
"Sounds good." He said sitting down at her desk. "Did you read the rest of the list?"
"Yes. Not bad picks overall." She smirked, "I have to admit thinking you kind of looked like High Jackman before."
"Really?" Logan smirked back, "Is he as good looking as me?"
"Nope, not even close." She replied with a straight face.
"Just so long as you remember that." He said in mock seriousness.
"I think Halle Berry is perfect for Storm."
"Yeah, I like who they picked for you."
"Anna Paquin?"
"Yup."
"Huh."
"Huh what?"
"Didn't know you liked them so young." She teased.
"She's older than you." He lifted an eyebrow.
"Really? You know so much about this girl?"
"Side effect of night watch, TMZ."
"You watch that crap?"
"Jones does, I just hear it."
"I see." Her smile indicated she didn't believe him for a second. "How much older?" She asked as he stood and walked towards her.
"Just a couple years." He was less than a foot from her.
"I see." Rogue replied, her head tipped back to meet his eyes.
Outside in the hallway Jean passed by and was stopped in her tracks by the thoughts of the two people inside the closest room. She shook her head in mild disbelief then kept on her journey which ended shortly in her own room.
Minutes later Scott burst in, Jean put down her book and went to him. "I can't believe he's entertaining this idea."
"It's only one possibility." She assured him.
"But it's so ridiculous." Scott insisted, partially because he thought that way and partially because Logan thought it was a good idea.
"You're not wrong." She said.
"But…?" He prompted her, knowing she had a rational argument.
"But it has its merits. If the movie happening is an inevitability then it would make sense that we have control, or at least a heavy influence over it." Jean said then smiled. "Besides, wouldn't it be interesting to see ourselves on the big screen?"
Six Months Later"I told you. I told you!" Jubilee declared to the room as they watched Entertainment Tonight in the rec room.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you told us." Warren said with just a minor sulk to his voice.
"Shush, I wanna hear!" Kitty told everyone.
'The rumors have been confirmed, there will be an X-Men movie coming out late next year. Other rumors tell us that Halle Berry, Hugh Jackman and Anna Paquin have all signed on and that Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart are in negotiations to star as well.'
From the back of the room there was a groan, "I just can't believe it."
"I know honey, it's ok." Jean reassured her husband who was bent over in his chair with his head in his hands.