Him
He was my best friend. He was my only friend and he, was everything I had. We were inseparable, we laughed together, played together and together we have been through so much. He was everything to me and he was the one I always relied on. He saved me from my monsters and he brought me back to life. He was always there for me and he had loved me from the bottom of his heart. Without him, I wouldn't have survived. Sucked into my own darkness and never touched by light again but he was my sun. He was my savoir and he shouldn't have left.
I would sit in my room, pouring my eyes out, staring down at my trembling hands, remembering the warmth of his body and his sweet smile that always made my stomach flutter. I would sob throughout the night and have nightmares while sleeping. I remember my chest constricting against my heart as I would cradle it with my hands, trying to sooth the pain. My depression continued for about six month and in the end, I have completely isolated myself. Not trusting anyone, I lived a life alone. Every day would be a pain, misery and sadness until the point where I completly blocked out my emotions. I wouldn't feel anything, I mean after all, what was I suppose to feel with him gone? I was nobody, no friends, no personality. I was just there. To think, I probably cried about 1 litre of tears.
I don't know how to act around people anymore. If I went to the cashier to pay and the lady would ask how my day was, I would lift my eyes and stare at her, as if she was an alien. What was I suppose to say? Good? That would be lying and I remember he tells me to never lie.
I had become the bastard that everyone thought I would live up to be. I had tried, so hard to not follow in everyone else's expectations, I had tried honest. And I had succeeded. I had become the person I thought I would be; the happy person that wouldn't be weighted down by the social norms of having parents in high places, and a brother that had left an honourable mark in the school. I didn't want to be the person that was set up for me. I wanted to be me, to be someone totally different from the form of my planed out life. I lived it, with the help of him, and people had accepted me for it, and then I killed it; killed it when he left.
So why was he back? I started at his eyes with an expressionless face. After all, this is what he did to be. Half of me was always with him and when he left, he took that way. I was no longer the person I used to be and I never will be. And he comes back like nothing has happened. How dare he? Everything has happened. Everything has changed. He destroyed me, the same way he saved me. Best friends don't do that to each other. I walk past him. He doesn't deserve this.
"Sasuke," he whispers. "Where are you? Where did you go?" I kept my gaze steady and answered in an uncaring tone.
"I apologize, but there is no more me. Not anymore." I walked away, away to the other side, the other side without him.