AN: Because once I asked myself "Didn't anyone remember Loki's mind control stick?" I couldn't stop thinking about it.
Disclaimer: The Avengers do not belong to me.
Iron Man was quickly pulling away from the jet. "Uh, did someone forget to tell me Stark was going on ahead?" Clint asked.
"Oh for crying out loud," Rogers said. "Can you get him on comms?" Clint activated the radio then nodded at Rogers. "Don't even think about it, Stark," Rogers ordered. "You stay with us."
"No can do, Cap," Stark said. "Every minute counts. We took way too long to figure this out."
"Stark, you cannot take on Loki on your own," Rogers said.
"I am not going to- do you really think I'm that stupid?" he asked.
"Do you really want us to answer that?" Natasha asked.
"Oh, I already got your evaluation, Miss Rushman," Stark said sarcastically. Clint raised an eyebrow and glanced over to see Natasha glaring at the comms. "Look, I have a plan. I have multiple plans, even."
"Mind sharing?" Rogers asked. He looked about as happy as Natasha.
"Plan A," Stark said. He was almost out of sight, now. "I get to the tower as quickly as possible and then blast something important to keep them from opening the portal. Best case scenario, permanent damage to the device. Second best case scenario, I delay them long enough for the rest of you to get there so you can all distract Loki while I get out of this suit and into one that functions."
"What if you can't damage the device? Or what if Loki's found your extra suit?" Rogers asked.
"JARVIS assures me my suit's fine," Stark said. "And if I can't damage the device, that's where plan B comes in."
"Which is?" Rogers prompted.
"I distract Loki myself while I trade suits."
There was dead silence for a second as they all raced through the many ways that plan could go horribly wrong. Clint's mind jumped immediately to the very worst way and it was all still so close, he had to pull on every ounce of his experience to keep his voice steady. "You do remember Loki has a mind-control stick, right?" Clint asked.
"Yep, and I'm going to try and avoid the mind-control stick, but if I get zapped, that's where plan C comes in."
Clint was starting to get pissed, because was Stark really arrogant enough to think he'd still have any type of control if Loki decided to take him over? He was about to tear into him, but Natasha beat him to it.
"You'll be under his control, Stark," she snapped. "You won't be able to do anything."
"Yes, I'm aware, which is why plan C doesn't involve me doing anything," he said. "It's actually all on you, Agent Romanoff. I trust you remember Miss Rushman's access codes?"
"Why?" she asked, sounding wary now.
"JARVIS will be getting you a video feed. If I get zapped, you can use those access codes to give JARVIS a lock down command. JARVIS will get me in the suit and then get me far away from New York."
There was another pause as they absorbed that. Clint felt a pang of jealously. Stark had an out. He had a way to keep from hurting anyone. Clint kind of hated him for that.
"You're going to have your suit kidnap you?" Rogers asked, a little incredulous. "Are you saying it can take control with you inside?"
"I thought you put in extra safeguards against that after the Expo," Natasha demanded.
"I bypassed them," Stark said. "It's not full control. No weapons, limited repulsors - pretty much the only thing JARVIS will be able to do is fly me away. But hey, that's better than nothing, right?" A pause. "Okay, you should have video of my living room now."
Natasha moved to a seat just behind Clint. "I have it. I'm assuming JARVIS is listening?"
"Yes, Agent Romanoff, I am here," JARVIS said. Clint made a note to find out why Stark had programmed his AI with a British accent. Provided they survived this.
"Great, we're all set," Stark said. "Oh, and Miss Rushman, if you lock me out and I haven't actually been whammied, it will reflect badly on your yearly performance review."
Clint didn't have to see Natasha's face to know the exact glare she was directing towards the comm. Too bad Stark wasn't able to see it. Though Clint was beginning to suspect it wouldn't really phase him.
"Right, well, I'm almost home, so I'm going to hang up. Call back whenever you manage to get here," Stark said. "Don't dawdle, now."
After he disconnected, none of them seemed to know what to say. "Any way we can go faster?" Rogers asked.
"Not unless you want to get out and push," Clint said. He was already coaxing every last bit of speed out of the jet. Of course, to do that he had to keep his focus on the controls, which meant that he couldn't turn around and watch what was happening on the screen behind him. "Tasha?"
"We're still on plan A, I think," she said.
"Actually, plan A has failed," JARVIS said. "Mr. Stark is about to implement plan B."
Natasha cursed. "Can you give us audio, JARVIS? And are we good to go on the suit?"
"I am awaiting your lock down command, however, as I told Mr. Stark, it will be a minute or two before the suit is ready."
A minute or two. Didn't seem like much, but still, Clint wondered if Stark would be able to bullshit Loki that long. The comms crackled and then audio from Stark's living room filled the plane.
"-going to appeal to my humanity." Clint's hands tightened on the controls at hearing Loki's voice.
"Uh... actually, I'm planning on threatening you."
Clint wouldn't have predicted that Stark would take this approach, but it did make a certain kind of sense. Stark was all arrogance and bravado. Of course he would threaten Loki. And as the conversation between Loki and Stark filled the silence of the plane, Clint had to admit Stark wasn't doing too bad.
Then Rogers spoke. "Keep your distance, Stark," he muttered. Clint tensed, wondering exactly what they were seeing.
"If Loki wants him, I don't think a few feet are going to make a whole lot of difference, Captain," Natasha said.
Rogers might have responded, but what Loki said next got everyone's full attention.
"How will your friends have time for me, when they're so busy fighting you?"
Clint's blood ran cold as he remembered the feeling of being unmade, of being pushed out of his own head and something cold and alien and wrong replacing him.
But then Natasha spoke, and instead of issuing the lock down command, she just said, "Stark, you lucky bastard."
Over the comms, Loki sounded confused, too. "I take it we don't need plan C?" Clint asked.
"No. His arc reactor interfered somehow," Natasha said. "He's fine."
Clint felt a wave of jealousy again. Not only did Stark have an out, he had a built-in defense against Loki's mind-control.
"Maybe not fine," Rogers said. Clint heard Stark yelling for JARVIS and then the sound of smashing glass. Then both Natasha and Rogers swore.
"What happened?" Clint asked, even as he tried to push the plane just a little bit faster.
"Loki just threw Stark out the window," Rogers said tightly. "Without the suit."
"The Mark VII armor has been deployed," JARVIS said. "My calculations show that it will reach Mr. Stark before he hits the ground."
Clint wondered why Stark had designed armor that could be put on mid-air, but then decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.
A second later, JARVIS continued. "Mr. Stark is safely in the armor. Agent Romanoff, with your permission, I will disconnect the feed?"
"Yes, go ahead, JARVIS," she said. "We'll be there soon."
"I will pass that along to Mr. Stark," JARVIS said, then the comms went silent.
"How far out are we?" Rogers asked.
"Just a minute or so," Clint said. Natasha climbed back up to the cockpit and sat next to him.
There was silence for a few seconds before Clint decided he needed to break it. "So. Did I hear right before? Did Stark really make a crack about Loki's performance issues?"
"Yes," Rogers said. "Do I want to know what that's in reference to?"
"No, Captain, you don't," Natasha said. Clint smirked and she just stared at him. "Bozhe moi," she said, dismayed. "You and Stark are going to get along." Clint's smirk widened just a bit, and Natasha turned away to mutter to herself in Russian.
His smirk faded as they reached New York City and got a close view of the portal and the aliens swarming out of it. "Here we go," Clint said, as Natasha activated the comms to contact Stark.