Honestly it's a weird feeling. I just don't feel like me right now and I'm not quiet sure why. Did I go back to the person a was a few years ago? No. But going back to those memories is painful to say the least. I keep revisiting certain memories hoping to find that last bit of closure that I so badly am grasping for. I want to know that I wasn't to blame. That I am not the reason we aren't friends. And those memories don't hold that closure for me. It's in the present and in the future. It's the closure I need from her but the kind I need from myself. I keep saying I'm fine and it wasn't my fault hoping desperately hoping that it will sink in and I can move on. Unfortunately I don't think I'd working quiet yet. And I don't know if it ever will. Will I be forever hung up on her. Is that what I'm scared of now? Not being able to move on properly. Because I'm not scared of losing her. Not by a long shot. I want to move on and I want to be done with her. But I have so much to thank her for. I honestly don't know where'd I be today without her. And maybe that's all I want or all I need for closure. No reasons for why we had to fight because I know them as well as she does, but just the chance to tell her thanks and show her I really did grow up and become the person we'd always hope I'd become.
A/N: I know this is short. The next one will hopefully be much longer! Until then
-FeelingsUnited