Title: Glitter
Author: Lady Starhawk
Rating: PG (one swear word)
Warnings: Cracky, Universe crossover, explained at the bottom
Summary: Eliot miscalculates wind direction, and suffers the consequences.
Note: Thanks to Medie Shanachie for encouraging my Crack!bunnies.
Eliot slammed the door and stalked through the room shaking his head as he walked.
Parker was just going to go back to what she was doing, but something caught her eye. Glitter was flying around the room in Eliot's wake. She perked up and followed him into the bathroom. There was a trail of glitter on the floor. He was grumbling something under his breath.
She watched him strip off his jacket and try to brush the glitter out of his hair. But it was everywhere. On his face, all over his clothes, Parker even noticed some in his ear. She crept forward and tried to be silent.
"What Parker?" Eliot whipped around, and Parker tried to not giggle as more glitter flew off of him in a cloud, catching in the sunlight streaming through the windows.
"You're sparkly." She walked right up to him and picked a piece of glitter off of his face. "I didn't know you sparkled."
Eliot growled and stepped out of the thief's reach. "I don't. It's windy today and I miscalculated and staked him up wind."
Parker cocked her head, "But it's light outside."
Eliot nodded, "Yup. Surprised me too." He moved into the bathroom, not at all surprised when Parker followed him.
"And that's not ash."
"Nope." Parker sat on the vanity as Eliot stepped into the tub and pulled the curtain. A few seconds later his clothes were in a pile on the floor, glitter still floating through the air as he dropped them. He started the water.
Parker moved back into the main room and opened the file Hardison had sent with them. Apparently there have been some issues with the local vampire population. One particular vampire was starting to cause problems for the others in town. He was making life difficult for their client, who represented the upstanding vampires of the community, so Nate had sent Parker and Eliot to take care of it, but he was unspecific as to how.
Eliot apparently had found the rogue vampire, and Parker was sure that he staked him. But she had no idea why Eliot was covered in glitter.
A few minutes later Eliot came out of the bathroom, a towel around his waist, and another in his hair.
Parker looked at him as he found clean clothes. "So where did the glitter come from?"
Eliot snorted and turned to her smiling, "This one was 'special'," he made air quotes before he stepped into his underwear, being sure to keep covered in front of the thief. "for whatever reason this guy avoided the sunlight because he sparkled in the sun. It was the gayest damn thing I have ever seen."
Parker smirked, "Gayer than a Jheri curl and pink bike shorts on a gym bunny?"
Eliot nodded, "Yup."
"But what about the glitter?"
Eliot pulled on his jeans and stood up, "He was sparkling when I staked him. Then all I saw was an exploding cloud of glitter."
Parker giggled.
Eliot pulled on his shirt and tried to tame his hair. He looked in the mirror, and saw a piece of glitter on the end of his nose. He scrubbed at his face and noticed more on his hands. He knew he was going to be finding glitter for weeks. He growled, "Stupid crossovers."
Parker couldn't agree more.
Note: So I like the Idea that in the Buffy!verse the vampires explode into dust when you stake them. So I got to thinking, what would happen if the same thing happened to the Twilight vampires. And what would happen if one was sparkling when he got staked. Please don't hurt me. I have never seen, nor read, the Twilight books. I am not the target demographic for them, and although I tried to read Twilight, I was unsuccessful. All I know about twilight I have learned from friends and pop culture. I mean no disrespect to the people who love Twilight.
Yes, I crossed Buffy, Leverage, and Twilight, I am not proud of that…but the idea of Eliot covered in glitter was too much to pass up.