My goal? As in, like my "goal in life?" What I'm fighting for? That's a weird question to ask the Dragon of Oshu. You'd figure it'd be gaining some more territory, or taking back my land… Or even taking over Japan entirely.

Well, if you've guessed any of those listed above, then sure; all those things totally tickle my fancy as immediate goals.

But since we're talkin' goals here, I'll give you my shocker of a long-term goal. Which is becoming less long-term and more short-term, thanks to all my hard work.

Hey, just keep in mind – you asked, so I'm tellin'. Here goes. To slowly seduce my Right Eye, Kojuro Katakura.

It's a blast working towards, and I can honestly say it's been a pleasure… But at one point in time, this One-Eyed Dragon was feeling a little impatient.

Eh? You want the details, then, little lady? Oh, I get it; you're one of those. Well, then, I'll give you my spiel. Or at least, I'll let you in how we started. As for the more recent, gory details… We'll see if I'm in the mood. Just remember, you asked for it. And you're lucky I'm such a talkative guy.

Wait, you already knew that? How did you – Tch! Okay, miss "I-know-all-about-the-mysterious-One-Eyed-Dragon." Fine. Maybe I won't tell you.

-Ah! Okay, okay! Don't be like that! Here goes! And that… whole thing about you… you know, being all "I-know-the-Dragon…" Kojuro gives me that same treatment, so I guess I'll forgive you, too.

Now, earlier on I did my homework, got to plotting, and made moves on him before. Just little ones, though. Like a pat on the rear after a nice duel. Heh heh, that's always funny. Or a suggestive joke while drinking sake together, along with a wink and a fake, "drunken" sway into his shoulder.

I ain't tellin' you what he smelled like, or what he felt like, though. That info's mine – comes with the territory. Unless of course, you decide to buy me another drink? …Hah. Fine, be that way.

Yeah, but that really didn't work the way I wanted it to. He countered me with a, "My Lord, too much alcohol interferes with common sense… Keep your wits about you… Blah blah blah…" Then the jerk sent me off to bed with a jug of water. Me! His commanding officer! Ahh, he's such a little wifey sometimes…

But you know, I actually kinda – Nah, I won't spoil it. And don't even try spilling it out of me; it's won't work. 'Cuz if there's one thing I've learned from all this, it's that patience is a virtue. Anticipating a good ending helped keep my head sane, while I waited for that stubborn partner of mine to give in. But as I've said, it was still driving me bonkers.

So as you can see - as far as tactics used against him - I've pretty much wrote my own book and tried them all. At a later day, maybe I'll get into more of those stories. Because they're hilarious.

But anyway, finishing up that topic and moving on, here's another thing I've learned during all this: it's a fact that when a person falls in love – and falls hard enough – they end up doing some crazy shit for that person. Especially if you're a horny man like me and want some attention from your uptight lover. There. Lesson over.

Now before I move on, I should probably clarify; it's not as though I think Kojuro's a dense guy. He's just… sensitive. Like he has his loyalty towards me, and I wouldn't trade him for another soldier alive. But when it comes to things other than the battlefield, he's shy or something.

Or at least, he was back then. But the recent details aren't happening tonight, little lady. Sorry.

So he was shy, or something. Probably the "or something." I just hadn't figured that out quite yet. But I figured that maybe he didn't really know himself, either…? I mean, he's a confusing guy. Even after knowing him for all the time I have, I still can't figure out what's going on with him.

But the most annoying thing about him back then was this: he was not willing to break past our "master, servant" relationship. Which is great, because like I said, I cherish the loyalty, and he's a good boy. But it also pissed me off a lot.

…And yes, little lady, I'll get into that in a sec, just let me lead up to it first. I'll tell you towards the end; what my message was for him, and how I was feeling at the time.

…Whadd'you just say? I ain't rambling! The action's coming, I swear! What was I telling you before? Patience, chicky-poo. (Geez, chicks these days… No wonder I fell for a man.)

So yeah, I'd send him those little signs, those little… flirtations, I guess. His reactions were a weird mix usually; a little shocked, a little stoic, a little embarrassed, a little unmoved. I didn't understand how he felt what he felt, but I was sure I'd figure that out sooner or later.

Even though I made small attempts, I never actually told him I love him. I know I'm lame, shut up. It took me a long time to get those stupid words outta me.

But hey, guess who came strolling in my bedroom one night? No, we didn't get it on, or anything. As much as I wished we could've. (…Shoot, did I say that out loud? Must be the booze.) It was right after my little escapade with that "drunken-sway-thing," too. Which was… prolly a year or two ago.

He came in with that same face, but something different, too. Couldn't say what it was, but it was interesting. Of course, I let the guy in, and he started with asking me about my health. I dunno why he does that, but he does. So I tell him, "A little cold."

Yes, I actually said that. And yes, it was a lie. Well, partly.

So you know what he does? Nothing. He just looks at me like, Dude, you're still drunk, aren't you? Were you even drunk to start with? And what do you want me to do about your coldne… Oh. No, he says, "Shall I get another blanket for you, my Lord?"

I'm like, Dude, seriously…? "No, not necessary. Come 'ere, Kojuro." I try and look all sexy laying there in my yukata, gesturing a beckoning hand for him… Don't know if you know, but I'm an expert poser.

So here's what he does. He shuts the door behind him. You shut that door. He comes closer. That's right, you creep on closer. And he sits next to my futon, bowing his head.

I knew what that meant; he wanted me to give him an order. Meaning, he still didn't know what I really wanted. Or maybe he did, and just wanted me to say it first. Or something, because honestly, I couldn't really tell at that point. Kojuro's hard nut to… Mmn, yeah, I'll just stop there.

You wanna know what I told him? Ha ha! Not telling, little lady! But if you buy me another beer, maybe I'll – Gah! Okay, okay!

"Spoon with me." I like it when he's at my back. That's his job, you know; keeping watch over my back. So I figured spooning would be kinda nice. Some quality, intimate time between us two. But I didn't tell him all that corny stuff; I just told him to spoon with me.

His reaction that day was stoic. And just like that, he climbed into my futon with me, and lay down behind me. That was great, except he was making damn sure his body wasn't touching mine. But I didn't totally care. At least he was in my bed, and he was going to stay there 'til morning.

I'd give him that same request a bunch of times afterwards. And it seemed like every night we'd go at it, he'd get a little closer. I don't know how that change came about, but now he's a pro. It's pretty cute.

So yeah, that's pretty much how started it - me being a moron and asking for stupid things. That's how we started, and that's all you're getting out of me today. That was me and Kojuro's "first round."

...All right, I've know you've been patient for my little clincher and some final words. You've been a great audience, actually. I'm surprised. So here's my message that went out to Kojuro…

Go ahead and top me. You've been doing me good for... how many years now? I think you deserve being able to give me orders sometimes. I wouldn't mind, because - as your master - I think the idea of us becoming equals is very... enticing.

Hey, little lady? You buy me another round, and I'll tell you just how that next part goes.