The blood swirled in the drain and the crimson color only mesmerized her. She had cut herself deep and yet felt nothing. She was numb to the core. How had she gotten here and to this point? It was only a few weeks ago that she was incredibly happy. Now, she was nothing more than a shell of her former self. 'I want to have a baby' kept playing in her mind and the look her girlfriend gave her crushed her heart. She didn't want the same thing. It was the fear that something would happen to their child. Callie had tried her best to reason with Arizona. All children got sick, but not every child died. Her girlfriend had expressed the fear of seeing that tiny coffin like she had seen so many tiny coffins in her dreams. The conversation ended with the blonde walking out without so much as a word.
She hadn't come back. Well, she had but not to talk to her. A few days after the split, she came home and found Arizona's stuff gone. There was a note on the counter.
I'm sorry I can't give you what you want. Forgive me.
-AZ-
Every day since then, Callie looked at the note and her heart ached for the blonde. It was obvious that Arizona was avoiding her at the hospital like she was avoiding the phone calls and small texts. Mark was her source of comfort but there was only so much he could do. He brought up the idea of revenge sex but she was not interested. It had been more of a joke than anything. Callie didn't want to get revenge on Arizona. She wanted to talk to her. She wanted to see her. There was a gaping hole in her heart and she felt like she was drowning.
Now, she had resorted to causing physical harm upon herself. She didn't feel good enough. Shakily, her hand went to push the mirror of the medicine cabinet shut. Callie took a good look at herself. She didn't look like herself at all. She was unrecognizable. "Will you notice me now?" she whispered into the mirror and tried to keep her emotions at bay.