Memoirs
Arthur and I have been together for a while. These are twenty-six out of millions of memories that I have with him that I won't ever forget. USUK.
Genre
Romance and General
Rating
T
Disclaimer
I do not own Hetalia.
Warning
Alfred POV, maybe ooc…, AU
notes
writing 26 oneshots, all having a prompt of one word from A-Z. this is me practicing to be a romance novelist.


Apologizing; "I can be a coward, even though I can be brave."

We all remember that there were times that we got into a squabble at school with our classmates or at home with our siblings that there were times that we ended up losing the argument and were forced to apologize to the other. We would be stubborn and pout, refusing to let the other win—only for us to apologize anyways as our teacher or parents would threaten us, either to call our parents or no television. That would be the most aggravating moment for us.

Little did we know that it would be even more aggravating in a relationship.

Arthur and I argued constantly, the arguments coming from me saying, "Coal or slime for dinner today?" to him simply replying, "Love, you're fat. I'm not going to sugarcoat it either because you'd probably eat that too." Then I would say, "If that sugar was burnt ashes from your cooking, then I don't even want to eat it in the first place."

Believe it or not, arguments like those are small to us. But when our arguments become big, it doesn't go well.

We ignore each other around our house, and even one time, Arthur had locked me out when I had gone out to get the groceries. Not cool. But it was rather chilly outside that day, so I had to sleep on the porch until the following morning when Arthur had decided to let me back in.

This fight was different. After a few hours walking aimlessly through the town, I had realized that I was a bit insecure about the situation. Apparently my brother, Matthew had gotten a boyfriend of his own—a Frenchman named Francis. Francis and Arthur happened to know each other a while back and they were close at one point. Close enough to get me jealous when Arthur mentioned him.

Technically, we didn't have a fight this time. All that happened was that I heard Arthur and Francis talk something about wedding rings and engagement. Now, it was a long day at work, and I was really tired. So I may have assumed that they were engaged once so I stormed off, questioning our own relationship and get pissed off whenever a thought of them together hopped into my train of thought.

But it wasn't just them being together that ticked me off. No, actually, I shrugged it off the first time I heard about it. Up until this point, another thought struck me in the head. It was what set me off. It was the thought of them being together and Arthur being happier with him than I would have ever been.

Thinking about it, I can be an asshole at times and Arthur would always complain about me and my laziness. Francis had more talent than I had. The most admirable things I knew how to do consisted of reading a book, and if that book happened to have a sad ending, I would cry. After my eyes turning into the Niagara Falls, I would clear out more or less half of the fridge, eating my emotions like a love-sick teenage girl.

Most importantly, I can't really control my emotions off hand. Sounds pretty stupid, but it's the truth. I can be a total asshole at one point, then another eating a bucketful of ice-cream. I sighed deeply when I had decided to head home. I could just say that I went out for a walk and— I'm a huge coward if you've noticed.

When I had arrived home, I headed up the flight of stairs and went straight to our bedroom. Walking over to the closet, I began moving the rack of clothes, trying to look for my old jacket. When I had found it, I reached in the pocket and took out a small black box; that small black box holding an engagement ring, waiting to be placed on Arthur's finger. I always questioned when I would finally pop the question, I never really had decided when to ask him, but…

"Alfred?" I heard Arthur call, hearing footsteps going up the stairs.

When I heard Arthur's voice, I frantically searched for a place to hide the ring. I had decided to just stuff it under the pillows and hope for the best that Arthur wasn't going to look under it. At least for now.

"Alfred…" Arthur sighed as he stood in the doorway. "Where did you go? I thought you would be back a while ago."

"Oh…" I bit my lip. "I just went out for a walk, no biggy."

"Alfred, I know you," Arthur rolled his eyes. "You hate being out in the cold, and it's rather chilly out. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Artie," I smiled. "You worry too much."

Arthur then gave me that one look. You know… that one look someone gives you when you say something and they just know that what you're saying is complete bullshit. Yeah, that look. And Arthur pulled it off greater than anyone I had met.

"Like I said, love, I know you," Arthur said. "I know when you're upset about something. You can always talk to me."

"Arthur, do you love me?"

"What?" He asked, confusion and shock written all over his face. "Of course I do—why would you even doubt that I—? You heard my conversation with Francis, didn't you?"

"…Maybe…"

Arthur sighed deeply as he walked over to me and sat on the spot beside me. "Alfred, I love you, and only you. What happened with Francis is behind me, and I love you more than anything or anyone else. Actually, I'm rather insulted that you would think otherwise."

"But you two were talking about engagement rings or something so—" I told him, before he interrupted me.

"I found the ring, Alfred," Oh. Arthur had stood up and walked over to the closet to fetch the ring and when he couldn't find it, he had a shocked face when he couldn't find it. "Did you send it back?"

"What! No!" I answered defensively as I rushed over to the bed, fetching the ring. "It's right here."

I stared at the box, then my gaze switching to Arthur, then back to the box. "Well, the surprise is ruined anyway, so…"

I'm a doubtful person even though I can be full of confidence. I can be a coward even though I can be brave. I'm not at all graceful, but I'm the complete opposite of that. I'm not the most perfect person, but Arthur had accepted me and all the pros and cons that came with me. Insecurities and all. I love him for that. When we first started dating, my parents constantly denied the fact that I had fallen in love with a man and I was making the worst decision of my life by doing so and I would one day be sorry for it. That is the only time I never apologized to a mistake I made—or rather, my parents made. I will never be sorry for falling in love with a man named Arthur Kirkland. Eyebrows and all.

"Will you marry me?"

Arthur's lips curled into a small smile. His true and sincere smiles were rare, and every time he had decided to smile, it gave me a warm feeling of security, trust, and love. They were rare and they were beautiful… as what he had said next. And that had made me feel really stupid for ever doubting our love.

"Yes, I will marry you."