Kinky- Arigatou for checking out my story, "Akatsuki Espada Alliance. They well.. Join together and cause lots of fun trouble :D. This will be a very hilarious fanfic, so make sure to check it often. Thank you for reading.

Chapter 1-

It was a beautiful day since Aizen's death and the Espada had nothing to do. Aizen had eaten a jalepano and couldn't breathe so he died a horrible, tragic, and somewhat hilarious death. Gin and Tousen went apart, Tousen mumbling something about justice, while Gin ran away muttering something about killing as many people as he could.

There they were, wandering the human world, wanting two things, a cookie and love.

Suddenly Orochimaru snuck up behind them.

"Would you like a cookie little kids?"

"Would I ever?"Luppi gasped.

"Luppi, don't take cookies from strangers." Zommari grunted.

"Little kid? I am 5,400,000,000 years old." Barragan snorted, as Luppi gobbled down the cookie, not listening to Zommari in the least bit.

"Umm… Luppi… I don't mean to pull a Zommari but is it just me or did you just take a cookie from a pedophile?" Ulquiorra asked him.

"Ulqui Kuuuun, no need to be jealous. Would you feel better if I gave you a kiss?"

Ulquiorra looked as if he were going to vomit and ran off to the nearest bathroom, as a child gasped. "The bathroom door opened by itself... It must be Jesus!"

"Kids!" Orochimaru ran off to stalk the poor, unsuspecting children.

Just then Pein appeared and glared at Orochimaru. "Oh no, not again..." He ran off screaming. "Oi Whitey! Don't touch that kid there!"

"My pee pee!" A kid screamed.

"Hidan!" Pein yelled. Another man with a giant scythe came over "You called?"

"Get whitey off the kids! You seem, to be the only one who can control him, since he's scared of Jashin."

"Why do I have to do your dirty work?"

"Because Jashin says so."

"Well why didn't you say that sooner?" He gasped and chased after Orochimaru.

"Who are you people?" Yammy asked.

"We're the Akatsuki." Pein stated.

"A what?" Nnoitra asked.

"Well that's nice and all, but are any of you tasty…?"Yammy started to lick his lips.

Ulquiorra, refreshed from the bathroom, ran smack into a strange boy with a mask on.

"Tobi's a good boy!" He said as he fell.

Hidan came back, dragging Orochimaru. "And this is why Jashin says Adultery is perfectly fine." Hidan finished. "Wait… Pein! Your'e not a Jashinist! Jashin didn't tell me to get whitey."

"Oh so you caught on did you?" Pein looked embarrassed.

"So you're the Akatsuki…"Syzael muttered.

"You know these nut jobs?" Grimmjow asked.

"They are said to be almost as strong as the Espada!" Syzael said. "I must see where you study… for I..., good sir, am I scientist.

"NERD!" Luppi yelled.

"Out lair is secret. To go, you must be an Akatsuki member."

The Espada members glanced at each other before nodding. "We'll become Akatsuki then." Stark the leader, nodded. "We have nothing else to do since our leader… Well…" He broke off thinking about the pathetic way Aizen had died and just stopped trying, before he did a very embarrassing face palm in public.

"We don't just let anyone join. How many babies does it take to paint the wall?"

"Depends how hard you throw them." Nnoitra laughed.

Pein gave them thumbs up. "You're most definitely in!"

-Back at the Akatsuki lair-
"So.. you guys are all to be paired off and go live with your partner, while we lay low for a while. Then you shall help us in our plan… For world domination."

"Couldn't you come up with an original plot?" Asked Halibel.

"I'm not paid enough." Pein said.

"MONEY!" Kakuzu yelled in Hidan's ear.

"I am soo… glad… to get rid of you... as a partner..."Hidan snorted.

"Ok so.. The parirings are.

Stark and Pein.

Barragan and Kisame.

Halibel and Konan.

Ulquiorra and Tobi.

Nnoitra and Kakuzu.

Grimmjow and Hidan.

Zommari and Deidara.

Syzael and Itachi.

Araniero and Sasori.

Yammy and Zetsu.

And Luppi and Orochimaru.

Have any questions?"

"Why am I stuck with a gay guy" and "Why am I stuck with a pedophile" were both heard from Orochimaru and Luppi.

"Because you two both touch yourselves at night."

They both blushed and stayed quiet.

"Anymore questions from someone who's not a complete retard?"

Silence.

"Dismissed."

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Kinky- Please R&R and tell me if it's good or not =)