D.I.Y Disasters 1/2

Disclaimer:- Don't own them just borrowing!

Episode:- None

Pairing:- Jean/James

Rating:- M

Achieve:- http(:/) . /group/rebeccafrontlewisffarchive/

Summary:- Now though I get the feeling that I'm going to find it a hell of a lot harder and as I climb the stairs blindly following his instructions I get the feeling I'm in even more trouble tonight than I was an hour ago and this time it has nothing to do with DIY.

Author's Note:- In answer to Ellie's challenge to write a fic in which someone's evening doesn't end up going as they thought it would, rated for sexual content in the second chapter (try to contain your surprise people!) Enjoy and reviews would be delightful!

"Ok Jean you've got one night to do this or it'll never be dry in time for you to get the furniture back in before Chris arrives on Monday morning so man-up and get on with it." I hate decorating, I never do it, I never have done it and if I could find a single painter-decorator in the greater Oxford area who wasn't booked right now I sure as hell wouldn't be doing it now. I've spent the last two days calling every contact I have trying to find someone to do this and I didn't even care how much I had to pay for it but no luck. What am I try to get my spare room decorated with only 3 days' notice? Because I raised a very typical man who decided to announce that he's bringing his new girlfriend to stay on Thursday night when they are arriving first thing on Monday! I took one look at the spare room and knew it had to be painted and generally spruced up a bit so I shopped for paint and new bedding and curtains and everything else I needed. Now I have everything I need, everything except someone to do the painting! So here I am standing in the middle of my spare room with dust covers over all the furniture about to start painting when I should be at Laura Hobson's clarinet recital. This is not going to go well I can feel it in my bones.

I've managed one wall, well I've rollered one wall now I have to go up the ladder to do the edging and try to do it without hitting the ceiling. Did I mention I hate ladders? Oh well now I would rather sit across an interview table with the most hardened of criminals than got up a single wrung of a ladder. I know how ridiculous it sounds and normally I'd be the first to say that I or any other person can do anything if we put our minds to it the idea of standing on this step ladder for longer than is absolutely necessary is terrifying. I hate ladders, I hate heights and I…."

"Shit! Great! Absolutely bloody Brilliant!" I've just been startled by the door bell, stumbled off the ladder and managed to cover myself in pale blue paint! I told you this was going to end badly didn't I? I've managed to get to my feet again and whoever is they are determined to get my attention because they now have their finger on the bell and it's going nonstop. I swear when I get down there they are going to regret this I mean I was doing ok, I was getting there all be it slowly, now the paint is everywhere but on the wall!

"Jean? Are you ok? I heard screaming!" I've just pulled the front door open to find a very concerned looking James Hathaway on the other side of it and now that he's seen me he looks even more worried. "Oh my god what's happened to you?"

"I was trying to paint a wall when someone decided to ring the doorbell and me and the paint took a nosedive off the ladder! What are you doing here James aren't you supposed to be at the concert with Robbie?" I've stepped aside and he's coming in but now that I've explained what happened and he knows I'm not being assaulted by a paint wielding maniac I can tell he's desperate to laugh! "I swear James if you laugh I will make you regret it. You still haven't told me why you're here and now not only do I have to decorate and entire room tonight but I have to clear up the god awful mess that had just been created by falling paint. I do not have time for you to find the whole situation hilarious!"

"Robbie said you'd cried off and weren't coming I know how much you were looking forward to the concert so I was worried. Rightly so it seems. You're decorating? Why?" Is it stupid that suddenly I'm irrationally irritated by his scepticism? Yeah ok it is stupid but I feel it anyway.

"What's so odd about me decorating? I'm quite capable of doing it!"

"Clearly!" He's laughing again, he's bloody laughing!

"I'm sorry to be rude but since the only reason you've come appears to be to laugh at me could you leave again? This is wasting time that I just don't have to waste."

"Sorry I don't doubt for a second you could do anything you put your mind to I just thought you'd prefer to get someone in to do your DIY." Well why didn't I think of that? Duh!

"I wasn't able to get anyone to do it at short notice and Chris is bringing his girlfriend home on Monday. He's never brought any of his girlfriend's home before so I think this must be serious and I want the room to look nice for them. It's not like I have a man in the house these days, not that Richard ever lifted a paintbrush in his life either, and I didn't have anyone else to ask so it's do it myself or it doesn't get done at all!" I can't believe I'm standing here with paint in my hair and all over my shirt discussing this with him in the hall.

"You didn't ask me, I'll help I'm not bad with a roller all you had to do was ask." Huh? Yeah right! Doesn't he realise that the last thing I would do is ask him to do anything that would mean I had to spend time alone with him in a bedroom? Of course he doesn't because he has no idea that in my darkest fantasies my bedroom is exactly where I want him to be and not with a paint brush in his hand I can tell you.

"James you have better things to do with your Saturday night. I would never have asked you to do it now will you go back to the concert and let me get back to work?" oh god he's taken his jacket off and his shaking his head firmly, damn that t-shirt is tight and suddenly I'm sure the fact my blood pressure has just gone through the room is evident in my face.

"No. You go shower and get that paint out of your hair and off your face because when it dries it will take days for you to get it out. I'll get on with the painting and then when that's done I'll help you sort the room out." Shower? He expects me to shower and act like everything is fine and normal while he's down the hall in my spare room? No way!

"James it's fine I'm not going to commandeer your weekend."

"I'm not taking no for an answer. I'd much rather be here with you then playing gooseberry with Robbie and Laura all night. We're not at work now so strictly speaking you aren't my boss and I can tell you what to do for a change. Go clean up and when you've done that a beer or a glass of wine would be great." He's gone with nothing but a soft laugh and I don't know what to say. He'd clearly not going to go and I can feel the paint starting to cake in my hair so maybe he's right. I do need to clean up and I do have wine and beer in the fridge but I still don't think it's a good idea. I mean I've spent years making sure I'm not in a position where I could make an idiot of myself where he's concerned especially since my divorce. I've pushed aside the fact that he feeds my deepest desires just by standing close to me in the office. I've developed all sorts of coping strategies and it's been working just fine. Now though I get the feeling that I'm going to find it a hell of a lot harder and as I climb the stairs blindly following his instructions I get the feeling I'm in even more trouble tonight than I was an hour ago and this time it has nothing to do with DIY.