Leaving the Boys for Themselves
Summary: Pepper, Natasha and Jane leave the other Avengers in the tower for their own enjoyment. But things go horrible when the kitchen matters start. But then again, they might see the whole tower upside-down.
"Pepper, sweetie, why are you leaving with the red-hair and Jane?" Tony asked with childlike eyes.
"Well, the girls and I are sick of being stuck up here. We'll be going for a far hotel and staying there for a few weeks" Pepper reasoned.
"But, Tasha," Clint tried to argue.
"You'll be alright. But leave my plants and sour fruits off your insanity" Natasha interrupted.
"Lady Jane, I—" Thor began.
Jane cut him off. "You're a god and can do stuff alone, right?"
With that, 3 exasperated faces came on the three Avengers.
"Tsk tsk," Fury shook his head. "That ain't the way to convince them. Besides, aren't you mature enough to handle this?"
"Well," Steve grinned, "first of all, it's going to be breakfast time. We should whip up something other than the same burnt-egg-and-burnt-bacon"
"How about," Tony smirked, "I'll make sticky, edible ceiling stickers if you want. Extra squidgy and sticky, right?"
"No, Tony! It takes me forever to even scrape half a pancake!" Bruce gasped.
Loki, who was living in Stark Towers, facepalmed. What was he doing with a bunch of people who can't even whip up a dish?
Loki silently approached them and asked. "Do you need a heavy breakfast?"
"Oh yeah! I knew Loki will be chef of the day!" Tony rejoiced.
"No. Just answer my question"
"Hm…a hearty breakfast!" the others replied.
Loki rolled his eyes. "Then make it yourselves. I'm not your father"
But the others stayed put. Nobody can think of a dish.
The trickster god approached the fruit basket, cut up a few sweet fruits and put some condensed milk on it. He disappeared to his room and ate there peacefully.
"But, how—"
"—you're the Avengers! You can slice up cyborgs, aliens and whatnot but you can't slice a fruit?!" Loki sneered.
Bruce, Tony and Steve began to cut away.
Thor, though, was confused. "What is that?" He pointed to a strawberry.
"A strawberry. The real fruit is actually the pips. Very sweet, try one" Loki rolled his eyes.
"Listen to your brother the talking encyclopedia, Thor" Tony chuckled. He was already done, so, with Bruce and Natasha, he sat on a comfy couch.
"But remove the leafy top first" Loki reminded.
He demonstrated how to do it and the leafy top was pulled easily. He popped it into his mouth.
Thor began to twist and turn the leafy top.
Loki was shocked. "That's not a—"
It was too late. Thor had actually opened a strawberry grenade Tony was working on. He had planned to give it to an unsuspecting strawberry-lover.
Now that the strawberry juice was all over, Thor got into berserk mode and roared "This is an incongruous race!" He got his Mjolnir and smashed every strawberry, even the ones which were only a shape of a strawberry, like Natasha's strawberry-themed alarm clock.
"My alarm clock!" they swore they heard an imaginative Natasha gasped.
"The strawberries!" Bruce gaped his mouth.
"The strawberries were supposed to be eaten, not mushed! Attack!" Tony growled.
Little did they know, Loki placed a strawberry while they were brawling. It was an explosive one. He placed on Thor's foot.
"Ah! The worthless race!" He immediately smashed it, and the kitchen was blazing instantly.
"That ain't my grenade! Loki!" Tony glared at the trickster.
Loki grinned, and, with a snap, everything was okay, well except the strawberry juice mess.
"Now get a mop and clean this up" Loki disappeared.
But that wasn't the only trouble.
"I watch the TV!" Tony growled.
"No! I watched the TV!" Bruce roared.
"Follow him" Clint argued.
"She ain't the owner of this house, Barton!" Tony snapped back.
"You noisy Midgardians!" Thor bellowed. He got his Mjolnir and smashed the TV.
"What."
"The."
"Heck!"
"Sorry," Thor shrugged.
"Again with the mess?" Loki snapped his fingers. "Whatever channel it is on, that will be the channel. I hid the remote"
It was on Tony's channel, much to the archer and scientist's chagrin.
"Aw yeah! It's…" Tony got a little dramatic, "Tech-Talk!"
"The most boring show I've ever—"
"Sshh…" Tony snapped at him.
"Well, I'll go to the kitchen," Clint huffed. "I'll make the suit man and the scientist a banana shake"
Loki grinned. He whispered to Tony "Hey, did you replace the broken top of the large blender?"
"Oh, no, but— Tony realized. "THAT IS NOT A BLENDER TOP! It's a water tank-slash-mixer!" He tried to run to the scene, but then Tech-Talk was discussing about new types of technology. He was glued to the couch.
Bruce, though, was already enjoying the show. "Clint knows better than blend in a broken blender".
Clint was done cutting up the bananas. He placed them in the blender, overlooking the slit-like slot on the top. "It seems a little watery, but"
He placed it on fast mode—what he thought was super smooth mode. It was so fast, and the shake was spewing off.
"OH NO!" Clint gasped, but the minute he opened his mouth, banana shake heading for him. The plug was hidden, and he without clue. He got his arrows and hit the tank. It didn't miss, but it spewed more banana shake.
Steve came down the stairs and his jaw could've gone all the way to the core of the Earth. "A game, huh?" He got more bananas and ice and, while he was covered in mackintosh, he threw more into the tank.
"Um," Steve got into his sense. "Isn't that the water-tank-slash mixer with the broken top?"
"What?!"
"Oh noes. We better…."
Before Steve could finish, Bruce accidentally turned the tank's knob, thus increasing the water flow. Before everyone knew it, the whole floor was flooded.
"So much for your shake, Barton! Good thing the show was finished!" Tony roared. "JARVIS! Block all exits in this floor!"
When all windows were shut and elevators blocked, it was already making the Avengers float.
"Ick! This is too much banana!" Tony sneered in disgust.
Bruce tried to go Hulk mode to turn the tap back off. But when he did, he was soon sinking.
"Bad idea, Hulkie," Tony sighed. He didn't want to facepalm. His hands were contaminated with too much watery banana juice.
Exasperated, Thor was going crazy. He, with a wet Mjolnir in his hand, smashed the pipe when he dived.
"Oh noes" they all gasped. Bruce already went in his original form, and he immediately stopped the water supply.
"Now let's drain it out the window!" Tony declared.
Bruce checked the outside. No one was lining up, at the moment.
"At the count of three, the windows will be opened. One…two…"
Everybody was already at a specific window.
"…THREE!"
The windows were opened, and banana-water grime was in the streets.
"Yippee, now JARVIIS, clean this place up while we have a bath" Tony grumbled.
Then they noticed the Mjolnir which was blocking the huge hole it made dropping on the floor.
An unsuspecting Steve turned the tap to its highest.
"Steve, can you bring soap here now? Looks like you just made this a bathroom!"
A/N: I have no idea what I am doing