Here are some super important thingies about the story!!!!
This story starts in the 'naruto-world', so it's not some girl coming there from our world and getting mad ninja skills in like two weeks or anything. Let's just say that she comes from a village in Fire country somewhere.
Her name, Fuyuno Yuri, means "Lily of winter". (Fuyu=winter, no=of, Yuri=lily, but Japanese grammar is kind of "backwards", you know just like "gaara of the desert" is "sabaku no gaara" in Japanese). But if I'm wrong, feel free to correct me.
'Thinking'
"Talking"
*** = beginning/end of flashback
----- = other peoples p.o.v.
Disclaimer: I don't own the anime Naruto, or the mangas Naruto, or the Naruto plushies, OR the Naruto cosplayers. Kishimoto-san owns them all, which technically (sp?) makes Kishimoto-san a criminal, BECAUSE YOU CAN'T OWN PEOPLE! .
…well I can, 'coz I rock. You don't believe me? Well I still own all of the haiku poems, Yuri, Miyako and ze mother.
Well, enjoy. ^^
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Chapter One
'The Lily of winter sprouts'
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The snowflakes were fluttering down slowly, gracefully from a velvet indigo sky, enchanting the landscape around me, turning the forest into a dreamlike one made of dark emerald and silver, the fields softening as a thick duvet of snow covered them. The light of a full moon illuminated all the tiny ice crystals in the snow, and even the ones that were swirling around in the air, carried by a cold wind, making them shimmer like priceless crystals.
The fire works completed the scene of a perfect new years eve. Any man, woman and child would be awed.
A lullaby of
Memories playing a tune
Leaving the one who
Listens awake in the snow.
But I was far from awed. For the forest that was closest to were I was now, was not peacefully, silently shimmering in silver and emerald, it was roaring in pain as it was slowly being devoured by ruby red flames. There were no fields of pure white, no, all that was around me was a small lawn, covered in snow like the fields, but with puddles of blood scattered over it. A lot of it was mine. But just as much, if not more belonged to oka-san. If it wasn't for the fire that was still burning, I would never have believed that it was the same day. For surely, many decades must have passed by now?
Sleep is lost forever
The moment we want it most.
Yet I still listen
To the lullaby of dreams,
Even though I know,
Sleep will not come to me.
Snow huh... It was almost strange how much it reminded me of myself. Falling, just to land on the cold, hard ground, unable to get up again. It was a simple pattern really. Be created, fall, land and melt. It really was similar to my story. I had been created, I had fallen in a spiral going downwards, I had been picked up by a kind wind once, but in the end, the wind had disappeared and I had landed. Everyone has to land and melt sooner or later, no one lives forever. All that was left for me now was the melting part.
So the snow and I really are alike.
However, there was one difference between the snow and me, something that made me very jealous of it. No matter how high the fall was, the snow never got hurt. Why couldn't I be like the snow? Wouldn't it be wonderful to be uncaring, pure and unable to feel pain and sorrow?
The source of the tune
Will always be here with me.
I'll always listen
To the stories it's telling.
Yet sleep will not come.
The necklace around my neck, a thin silver chain with a small silver locket, was slowly playing the gentle yet sad melody I had come to love. I listened to the tune with an expressionless face, lost in memories, memories that average six year olds neither didn't and shouldn't have, memories filled with blood, suffering, sorrow, and death.
Memento of you
One-chan, is the locket
That you gave to me
Filled with memories of our
Sorrow, death, horror.
But also stories of joy,
Trust, hope and laughter.
When the tune ended, I twisted the small key that was on the side of the locket. When I had twisted the key a couple of turns, I let go of it and the tune started to play again.
'I have to stay awake… if I fall asleep, I won't wake up again…'
It felt like I had been there for an eternity, I had lost count of time completely. But it didn't matter anymore did it? I was going to die sooner or later anyway, whether she wanted it to happen or not, and I knew it. But right now, I didn't want that to happen, not yet, so I kept myself awake.
Sleep isn't coming to me,
Death hasn't yet come.
Will I live a life?
Without death, sleep… without you?
Alone, forever alone.
I opened my eyes to face the burning house in front of me, trying to ignore the snow that fell from the sky and landed in my eyes, were they melted and fell down my cheeks like tears. But I wasn't crying. I didn't have any tears left. My grey hollow eyes gazed dully into the flames, its flickering light hypnotizing me. My long obsidian hair was fanning out behind me. The dancing light from the fire that was slowly destroying what had been my home for several months cast its light on my pale expressionless face, my torn and bloodied kimono and was making the two, bloodied katanas I hugged to my chest shimmer with a reddish glow. The midnight black sheaths lay next to me in the snow, which was dyed red from the blood that came from numerous deep cuts on my small body.
A few metres away from me were another person laying still in the snow, a woman, also covered in blood.
She looked like the exact opposite of me.
Her hair was platinum blonde; mine was midnight black.
The woman's clothes were bright pink, mine almost completely black.
Her skin was slightly tanned, mine was ghostly white.
I was merely six years old, she was an adult.
I was alive, she wasn't.
Her green eyes were just as hollow and dead as my pale grey ones were, but her body, mind and soul were dead for real.
Even though there were many differences between us, the woman was my oka-san.
I knew that oka-san was the one in the snow; I also knew that she was dead, yet I wasn't crying for her, I wasn't mourning her, in fact if I would felt anything about the situation; it would be pride and relief.
Why should I cry for her?
After all, I was the one who killed her.
The blood on the katanas belonged to my mother.
The pride would be that I had accomplished something not many people can do.
The relief would be that she had gotten rid of my tormentor.
My expression didn't change, not even once. It was like the pain and the coldness from the snow couldn't reach me. I just kept my hollow gaze focused on the burning house in front of me, ignoring the corpse in the snow, not even flinching. At least the physical pain, the one from my wounds couldn't reach me. However…even though my body was numb, my mind and my emotions were still working perfectly.
At first, the cold had made my small frame shake uncontrollably, and my severely burned legs had been on fire with pain. I had been running too fast, even though I shouldn't. But it wasn't like I had had a choice, it was more like 'run or get killed'. I had preferred life then. Now I wasn't sure if fate would care about what I preferred.
But that felt so long ago. As time passed, I became numb. I didn't feel any pain from my legs anymore; in fact, I didn't feel anything at all. Well, that's a good thing, ne?
She had poured boiling water over my legs, so I wouldn't be able to run away, making me an easy target. But I had escaped her, I escaped oka-san anyway… but I wouldn't have made it if Miyako hadn't protected me…
'Miyako-nee-chan… why did you step in the way? Why? If you hadn't, you would have lived… Nee-chan, you're such a baka…'
I was still wearing the same clothing as I wore only a few hours ago at the new-years dinner, the same kimono Nee-chan gave me this very morning. I remembered that I had been happy and exited about the fireworks then. Was I still the same person as I was then? Would I even care about fireworks at all in the future, if there were any future for me that is. It certainly didn't feel like I would. What a stupid thing to get exited over. It was just some colourful explosions in the sky.
These last few hours, I had transformed into a completely different person. The girl I was now could never laugh again, could never feel again. I didn't even feel like six anymore, I felt so much older now. I couldn't go back.
It didn't feel like a few hours ago at all to me, more like a past life, a different person's life, or a dream I had long ago that was hard to remember.
I wanted to believe that it was a dream so bad. However, the blood that was splattered on my kimono, told a different story. It was the proof that it wasn't all a nightmare; I wasn't going to wake up and see Nee-chan look at me with worried eyes. I could almost hear her concerned voice, like all those other nights I had woke up screaming in my bed.
"You poor thing you had a bad dream again, didn't you? You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to. Don't worry, it was only a dream… Come here, I'll sing you to sleep…"
But I would never be calmed down again by the lullaby that Nee-chan used hum while holding me close. Yes, she hummed it; she had said that there weren't any words. I thought that was a good thing, because that made it sound different every time I heard it. When I was sad, the melody was comforting. When I was tired, it was soothing, lulling me into sleep.
My locket played the same lullaby, so I played it now, over and over again. But all it could do was keeping me awake; it couldn't comfort me like Nee-chan's voice could.
She had become like an older sister, and now she was gone... if only I hadn't moved in with Nee-chan, oka-san wouldn't have found me with her, Nee-chan wouldn't have protected me and then she would still be alive!
I closed my eyes. '…Why? What could she possibly gain for doing such a thing? Why couldn't oka-san leave us alone?'
Memories flashed before my eyes.
***flashback***
I had run away from oka-san several months ago, even though I had nowhere to go. When I ran away, I hadn't any time to pack anything, and it was only pure luck that oka-san had forgotten to lock the door that lead to the basement, and she was out long enough for me to sneak out. I had somehow managed to sneak out soundlessly even though my body was bruised. There was no time for planning, no time to take care of bruises, no time for packing.
I had realised long ago that if I wanted to be free, I would have to get out of the house and run fast, even if I couldn't bring anything with me. Freedom comes first.
But when I came outside the house, I didn't know what to think. It was beautiful. I had never seen something as beautiful as the sun before. Its light was sharp, painful, but I couldn't stop myself from looking at it. My eyes watered and I reminded myself that I had to get away fast, before oka-san noticed that I was gone. My legs began to move, faster and faster and I loved every second of it. The wind was blowing the same direction as I was running, towards the sun, as if it was guiding me, encouraging me to move faster and faster. I never stopped running. Somewhere in the back of my head, I briefly wondered how that was possible, but I had pushed the thought aside. As long as I could get away from oka-san, I didn't care I my body was doing strange things.
But since I had no food or water with me, I had collapsed on the road from dehydration and lack of food after two days. I still found it hard to believe that people should be able to run non stop for two days.
That was where Nee-chan found me.
When I first saw Nee-chan, the first things I noticed about her were her short, messy purple hair, her dark, almost black skin, and how strange she was dressed. I was very fascinated at this; I had never seen anyone that looked like that before.
After all, I had lived my entire life in the basement, and the only person I've ever met was oka-san, and she only wore really bright colours, the kind that makes your eyes sting. But Nee-chan was so different; she was wearing black head to toe and even around her eyes, and had a broad studded belt hanging loosely around her hips, and a black leather bracelet around her wrist. On her feet was a pair of black sneakers.
Miyako just picked me up in her arms and carried me to her house, where she fed me, gave me water and put me to bed. She didn't even ask my name.
Well, it's not like she would get an answer to the question "What's your name?" anyway, it's not like I have one.
I don't know why Nee-chan took me in, but I'm grateful that she did. She became like an older sister for me. She had cared for me, argued with me, laughed with me, cried with me… and for some reason, I always felt secure around her. She was like a mountain; it was like nothing could bring her down or get her out of balance. If burglars broke in to her house, she'd probably knock them unconscious with the oh-so heavy I-was-made-to-be-whacking-people-in-the-head-and-cause-them-tremendous-pain frying pan.
I was relieved that she didn't ask any uncomfortable questions, like why my body had so many scars and bruises, why I was on the road half unconscious, or things about my past. When I asked her why, she had just shrugged and said;
"Everyone has a past. If you don't want to talk about it, that's okay, they are your memories and you decide what happens with them. The past is in the past, you shouldn't dig it up again if it's painful, just because someone else is being nosy. You should only bring up happy memories, because that will make you remember and treasure those memories even more…" she paused. "Hey, let's make dinner, I can't sit here and rant all night! How about suki yaki? Or would you rather have oden?"
For some reason, Nee-chan seemed to like to treat me almost like a doll sometimes. When she wasn't working in the flower shop in the village, that lay about a kilometre or two away from the house, she was pampering me in different ways, fussing over things like if I was dressed warmly enough, if I had enough friends and suggested that I should walk over to the neighbour and play with their kids.
She didn't stop until I calmly reminded her that it was august, so I wouldn't need the four extra jackets and scarves she wanted me to wear, and that the closest neighbours were at least one kilometre away, and that I'd rather be with Miyako anyway. Those were the pampering moments.
But in the dolly moments, she treated me like a dress up doll. It was fun, mostly, but sometimes I sneaked away, because after a few hours it had lost its charm.
One time, I hadn't been observant enough to sneak away when the dreadful "pampering gleam" appeared in Nee-chan's stormy grey eyes. Like I said earlier, there were two kinds of them, one was the 'omg-I'm-so-worried-and-are-you-sure-you-don't-need-an-extra-jacket'- gleam, and number two was the 'AW!-you're-so-cute-I-have-to-dress-you-up-NOW'- gleam. This time, it was number two. The gleams weren't rare, so I was only startled but not surprised when Nee-chan suddenly snatched my hand and dragged me into her bedroom, bursting out something like "Ne! Let's try on my old clothes on you!"
Gone were my torn white, now grey skirt, my bright pink blouse that I deeply loathed (it used to be oka-san's), my white sandals and my baby blue cardigan which I also disliked greatly. I was now wearing something that was very similar to what Miyako was wearing. I had never worn so much black before. I was wearing a black tank top, a black pair of knee length jeans, black sneakers, she had even changed my hair, I had bangs now and it was now in a long braid on my back. The only thing that was colourful on me was two dark purple streaks in my hair, which was also courtesy of Miyako. They came down to my jaw, framing my face.
I was happy that she cared, even if she sometimes cared a bit too much.
But what I was happiest about, was that for the first time in my life, I wasn't called worthless or filthy, I hadn't been kicked to the floor or beaten unconscious, I didn't cry myself to sleep on the floor in a corner of the basement. I was greeted with a smile instead of harsh words and punches, for the first time… I felt appreciated, wanted… loved.
I had never thought that oka-san would search for me; I never thought that she would find me. I always thought that she didn't care. Maybe she would be happy that I was gone. Oh, how wrong I was…
The night everyone gets a new beginning, my and Miyako's lives fell apart. The night everyone is exited over the fireworks, we fought for our lives. It happened on New Years Eve.
I had never celebrated new years before, so I didn't have a kimono. I had thought I would have to wear my normal clothes.
But Miyako had thought of that, because when I woke up that morning, there was a neatly folded kimono on the chair next to my bed.
On top of it was a silver locket with a thin silver chain and a note.
I am only six, and oka-san hadn't really cared about my education, so when I came to Miyako, I couldn't even spell my own name. Well, I don't have one, but you get the idea. When Miyako found out, she started to teach me. I still can't read that well, but the message on the note was short and had big, bold letters, so I had no trouble understanding it.
'HOPE YOU LIKE IT.
LOVE, MIYAKO'
I was stunned. No one had ever given me anything before. Sure, it was New Years Eve tonight and I had a small hope that I might receive a present from Miyako…
…But a kimono!? Miyako weren't poor, but she wasn't exactly rich either, and kimonos must be so expensive!
I reached out a small hand, slowly letting it slide across the smooth silk carefully, almost afraid that it would fall apart if I just looked at it, or that it would turn out that I imagined it all, and it would disappear.
It was beautiful.
It was black with a beautiful silver willow on it with a shimmering, swirling dark purple mist surrounding it. Above it was a myriad of stars; some of them were shooting stars. The obi was dark purple, with a hint of indigo, coloured with a beautiful silver snowflakes scattered on it with big black swirls in the background.
When I was certain it wasn't my imagination, I let go of it and turned my gaze to the locket. I picked it up. It was just as beautiful as the kimono, and it was big enough to fit in my small palm. It was oval shaped and a little rounded. The front had a snowflake carved into it. On the side was a small, small key. I tried to remove the key from the locket, I wanted to examine it closer, but it wouldn't budge, so I tried twisting it instead. To my surprise, it went around more than once. Maybe it wasn't supposed to open the locket? I kept twisting the small key, but soon I got bored and let go. To my surprise, the locket started to play a gentle, but sad tune. It was a music box! I recognised the melody, it was the one Miyako used to sing me to sleep with, when I woke up from nightmares.
I found it hard to believe. They were fore me. Me.
Later, I knocked Miyako over when glomped/ hugged her, Miyako let out a yelp, and we landed on they floor with a loud BANG. Glomping was actually very uncharacteristic for me, all Miyako's overprotective mother hen moments had made me a rather calm and collected person. No wonder she was surprised.
"I suppose you like it then?" Miyako said as she let out her barking laughter. I nodded into her tank top, letting out a muffled "Hai, Miyako-nee-chan! Arigato!"
"It used to be mine when I was a little bit older than you, and I have always been quite tall for my age, so I'm pretty sure it's too big for you though. You okay with that?" I nodded.
"Great. It's not that big deal actually; you can adjust the length under the obi, so you won't trip when you're walking. But I don't know what to do about the sleeves though."
"That's alright, I think it's prettier with long sleeves anyway."
She showed me how to put it on and how to tie the obi. It was really hard, and the complicated knot seemed to take hours to learn. But in the end, I learned how to put it on by myself, and even though it didn't look perfect, I felt pretty for the first time in my life.
No one had ever cared about my looks before. Sure, oka-san gave me the few clothes I had before, but they were only the ones she didn't want to wear anymore, so they were always too big, or very torn. She hadn't cared about my hair either, so that's the reason it had grew so long.
But now… I was…pampered. Not too much (like when she got that gleam of hers in the eyes) and not too little (like when I lived with oka-san). And I liked it, very much.
We had had a delicious New Years dinner, just the two of us, filled with jokes and laughter. After the dinner, it was really late, and Miyako tried to make me go to bed. But I put on the puppy eyes, begging to see the fireworks. Miyako didn't stand a chance against the almighty puppy eyes with their almightiness. Miyako put the kettle on, so we could drink tea when we finished watching the fireworks.
We went outside, and the fireworks had just started to explode in the sky above the village a few kilometres away. I was glad Miyako's house lay on a hill, it made it possible to see very far, at least in the direction the village lay in. On the back and on the sides, the forest hid the view. The beautiful explosions in the sky drenched all the sounds from the forest.
Perhaps the intruder waited till this night, so that the loud noise would mask her presence. I don't know. Suddenly she was just there, right in front of us.
"Pardon me for intruding, but I've come to fetch or kill my brat. It depends on how she behaves" oka-san bowed in mock politeness, a sugary smile plastered on her face, a twisted smile that didn't reach her eyes, hands on her back. Then she saw Miyako, who had placed herself in front of me protectively. I know she only meant well, but being unable to see what was going on unnerved me even more.
"Who the hell are you, and what the fuck are you doing on my property?!" Miyako barked.
"Now, now, no need to shout. And mind your language, there's a child present, remember?" She said waving a disapproving finger mockingly in front of Miyako's nose. She turned her cold green eyes to my fearful grey ones.
"So you haven't told her about your own about your oka-san, brat? Shame on you, I thought I brought you up better than that. I think I need to teach you some discipline. How does a good old beating sound, hm? Kind of nostalgic, ne? It makes me remember all the good times we had in the basement… you, me and a baseball bat…"she sighed dreamily, as if she was recalling a wonderful memory. I felt my stomach twist itself into a knot.
"Shut up and get out, you bitch! You're getting her over my dead body!" Miyako growled, as she grabbed my hand and went inside.
She slammed the door close and grabbed the wacking-people-in-the-head-frying pan in the kitchen just in case.
"She's the one who gave you all those scars and bruises, isn't she?" Miyako growled. "Well, she isn't staying, that's for sure! I'm going out there."
With that she turned around and was just about to open the door when oka-san kicked it open.
She eyed the frying pan and sneered. "That won't work on me, you pathetic excuse of a thinking creature. Just hand over the brat already, I miss my toy."
"Like I said before, you're getting her over my dead body. Bring it, bitch!"
I felt myself stiffen. "No… please, don't fight nee-chan. I'll go with her, just please don't fight her!"
What was meant to be a scream came out as a whisper; it was like my voice didn't work. If Miyako heard me, she ignored what I said, because she didn't put down the frying pan.
But I knew what oka-san was capable of. She was strong, much stronger than she looked.
"Is that so? Over your dead body, huh?" she raised a brow "Well, don't you worry, that can easily be arranged."
She removed one of her hands from her back to reveal an unsheathed katana.
"Surprise!" she squealed happily, as she cut Miyako's head off.
Miyako didn't even have time to gasp. It was over before any of us had any time to react. No last words, no counter attack, nothing. From my place behind Miyako, I saw how the katana went through Miyako's neck and came out on the other side. The blood was cascading out of her neck as her limp body fell to the floor, landing with a dull thud.
The blood was everywhere, everywhere, splattering on my face, my kimono, the walls, the floor… the splashing sounds it made as it landed on the surfaces were truly sickening.
I let out a scream of pure horror as her severed head landed in my hands. Her surprised and horrified expression, her empty, hollow eyes that used to be so stormy grey, so full of life, were now a dull shade of grey that only spoke of death. It would never have the dreadful pampering gleam anymore.
Ironic, isn't it?
Only a few days ago, I would have praised the heavens for escaping the pampering gleam for the rest of my life. Now I missed it more than ever. It was a part of nee-chan. It was gone, lost forever, just as she was.
Her blood that ran out of her head floated out on my hands, so warm, so warm…dripping down on the floor, creating a small puddle of fresh blood.
The smell of it was filling my nostrils, drowning every other smell, making my head spin. I felt my knees buckle as I sank to the floor, landing in the blood puddle.
"…nee-chan…" I fought back the bile that rose in my throat. The smell of blood was almost making me vomit.
"Miyako-nee-chan…?" I whispered, disbelieving what I've just seen. Miyako couldn't be dead, she couldn't be… she was always strong, so tough, so… secure. She was my stability, my mountain! Mountains can't die!
Time was frozen. Somewhere in the distance I could hear oka-san's shrill, sadistic laughter. I threw my small arms around Miyako's head hugging it to my face, not caring that her blood was smearing my face and ruining the precious kimono she had given me. The lump in my throat was almost suffocating me, my tears blinding me, my mind screaming for her to come back, to be alive, to be near…
"Awww, how touching…" oka-san's sarcastic voice brought me back to reality.
That. Was. It. I was fed up. I whipped the tears away from my face angrily, and stood up.
"Shut up!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, revenge and rage was all I knew.
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!!! You are nothing compared to Miyako-nee-chan! Don't you dare to make fun of her! Nee-chan didn't have anything to do with this and she didn't even have a real weapon! But you, you just had to kill her, didn't you!? You are just a fucking coward! I hate you!"
I was a little weirded out with the fact that I was proud to have said, well, screamed my first 'bad word', and even more that I was thinking about such things in this situation.
"So I'm a coward am I? You know, I was going to let you live, but now I think I'm going to kill you too. But to prove that I'm not a coward, you can have a katana too."
She removed her other hand from her back to reveal another katana, which she handed to me. Before I had any time to react, she had grabbed the teakettle, which stood forgotten on the stove, and threw the boiling water all over my legs. Pain shot up through my legs, making me scream. My legs were on fire, I couldn't even stand, and I fell to the floor holding my legs tight to my chest, rocking back and forth while screaming and crying.
"…But that doesn't mean I will go easy on you…" she smiled innocently, green eyes sparkling.
I lay on the floor in a heap, one small hand grasping the hilt of the katana. I shakily rose to my feet, whimpering as the pain in my legs increased, making me wish that I didn't have legs at all.
"My, my, I'm so very impressed", oka-san sighed happily, sarcasm dripping from each word. "My little brat, in her first swordfight, and with mommy at that! Now isn't that cute? Some quality-time with mommy…"
I ignored her sickening sugary voice, and tried to keep standing up without falling to the floor again. If I just pretended to be unharmed, maybe I would forget the searing pain that seemed to eat me away from the inside, Miyako's dead body, her and my own blood on my face and kimono… No!
I shook my head. I will not think about it! It's just a pretend-game, it's not real. It's just pretend, it's only pretend, it's pretend, just pretend…
I steadied my grip on the katana, and charged at her. I was too slow, too clumsy, and she blocked the attack with provoking ease, and made a deep cut in my side with the katana, then sending me back to the floor with a kick at my new wound.
I gritted my teeth so hard I thought I would break my teeth, just so I wouldn't scream. I would not give her that pleasure. But I couldn't stop the tears that started to well up. Why couldn't I be stronger, faster… better? Why did I have to be so weak, so fragile? Was this really the best I could do? But I couldn't just give up either… could I?
"Just give up and die already, you're six, what can you possibly do?" she giggled and flipped back her long blonde hair, seemingly enjoying every second of this.
I tried to ignore that pain in my side that felt like fire, and tried to stand up again. A tear silently slid down my cheek. I knew that I would be dead soon.
Oka-san lazily walked over to me and bended the katana out of my grasp.
"Well, it is obvious isn't it? You can't fight me, because you're weak, not to mention pathetic." she yawned. "Whoa, it's really getting late isn't it? You know what? I think it's time for you to go to sleep. In fact, I don't think you should wake up. Ever." She smiled sweetly, and raised the katanas for the final blow.
It felt like time froze. I had closed my eyes, not wanting to see the katanas penetrate my body and end my life. Memories of me together with Miyako flooded through my head, the only happy memories I had. Miyako had done so much for me, and she had even sacrificed her life, just to save me! She wouldn't have wanted it to be in vain. She would have wanted me to live, to create new memories, and maybe even make friends.
Suddenly I felt the craving urge to live, with every pore of my body, I didn't want to die. I wanted to live, I had a bloody right to live and no one was going to take that right away from me! No one! I felt my hatred, six years of pure hatred towards oka-san come to life and rise, grow within me, pulse through my veins and something else… a strange feeling, it made me feel strong, powerful, and secure.
Maybe… I can use this power? The very second the thought passed through my head, I knew I could. I tried to concentrate the feeling to my hands, and found that it worked. I suddenly got an idea. But to do that, I'd have to make it sharper… I concentrated on the feeling in my hands and it soon changed to something that felt like razor-sharp knives with the sharp edges turned out from my hands, like a hedgehog. I giggled softly at the mental image despite my situation. Heh, hedgehog hands…
Suddenly time returned to normal, and just as oka-san was about to kill me with the katanas, I suddenly noticed that my hands were surrounded by something that looked like black fire. I stomped down my surprise, and took my glowing, sharp hands and grabbed oka-san's ankles, effectively cutting of her heel sinews. Blood splattered out on the floor from her ankles, and now it was her turn to fall to the ground, screaming in pain.
"You fucking brat! I'm gonna fucking kill you! Aargh! " Oka-san's voice wasn't sugary anymore, it was rough, hoarse and filled with anger. 'So this is what you really sound like…' I thought.
I continued with my plan, ignoring oka-san's loud cursing, and crawled over to Miyako and grabbed the large frying pan that still was in her hand. Then I hit it in oka-san's head hard, over and over and over, pouring all my hatred, all my sorrow and fury into the each hit, silencing her screaming. "This is for all you've done to me in the basement!" I screamed as I hit her hard in the back of her head. "This is for existing!" I kicked her hard in the stomach, well aware of that she couldn't hear me, but I didn't care. "And this, this is for killing Nee-chan!!!" I roared, and stepped hard on her face, crushing her nose.
She had died long ago, but I kept stepping on her face, enjoying every second of ruining her face, crushing her, soaking her in blood. It took a while for me to realise that she was dead.
It felt almost surreal to me. I had always thought of her as a strong, scary person that no one could ever beat to the ground, and absolutely not kill. Yet… I did. And it felt good, it felt oh so good, I felt so powerful… I had enjoyed each punch and each kick I had delivered to her body, in fact, I enjoyed it so much that I wanted to do it again, and again and again…
I suddenly realized what I was thinking. 'No… I'm becoming just like her...!' I quickly erased all thoughts of killing from my mind. 'I need a reminder, or else I will just start thinking like that again… I don't think Miyako would be proud of me if I killed people…' my gaze turned to the katanas. 'They can be my reminder…
I stepped forward.
"I don't think you'll need these anymore… so they're mine now." I took the katanas away from her hands and turned my back against her.
Suddenly I felt very tired. The wonderful feeling of power was gone, along with my fury. All that was left inside me was a dark emptiness. I felt so hollow, so numb, so completely drained. So much had happened, and I didn't want to deal with cleaning up right now, or burying the dead women that lay in the living room, didn't want to think about the fact that I had done something unforgivable, something so sinister as to kill… and enjoyed it.
"You know what oka-san?" I said softly. "Going to sleep might not be so bad after all..." I yawned and stretched, but winced when the pain from before came back full force. 'It must have been numbed when I was angry, somehow…' I thought a little confused.
Just when I was about to go to my room, I heard a loud 'poof' behind me. I whipped around; just to see the place oka-san's dead body was was surrounded by smoke. I breathed in sharply and had a coughing fit as I tried to wave away the strange smoke. When it was gone, I wondered if I was imagining things.
'Is dead people really supposed to turn into logs…!?'
"Heh, not bad brat, not bad… already using chakra, mommy is so proud of you..." I froze. I'd recognise that voice anywhere… "Now, how about we continue were we left off, hm?"
'No…' I thought frantically. 'She… she was alive!?' Eyes wide in horror and with my mind in chaos, I ran out of the door the fastest I could, my long black hair whipping around me. I ran the fast as I could, which wasn't that fast considering how hurt I was. I didn't care that I wasn't wearing any shoes, I didn't care that it was December and I was only wearing a thin silk kimono. I wanted to live, to get away from oka-san, away from the nightmare, away from everything…
Oh the bitter irony of it all, it was just like when I ran away all those months ago; no time for packing, no time for taking care of wounds. Freedom comes first.
I only made it about fifty metres before my legs gave in.
"Stupid body, why won't you move!?" I was so frustrated I felt like crying. I shakily rose to my feet, the blood loss making my head spin.
From the house, I heard oka-san's voice.
"You're not getting away that easy, brat. I may not be able to walk, but still got my supply of jutsus…" she snickered as she dragged herself outside with her arms.
"Katon: housenka no jutsu!" she shouted, and suddenly fireballs were chasing me. I dropped to the ground, the katanas in a steady grasp. The fireballs missed me, but they put the forest on fire, and it went from a serene forest to a roaring inferno in the blink of an eye. I watched the fire spread and within seconds, the entire forest was on fire. But it didn't stop there. It had spread to the house. My home was burning to the ground, and there was nothing I could do about it.
"No…" my whisper wasn't even audible over the roar form the fire. Miyako was still in there, burning together with our home. The thought of her body being eaten away by the flames made tears well up in my eyes. I wouldn't even get the chance to bury her. I could never even put flowers on her grave. I'd never see her again. Now she was really gone, not even her body was left. I had lost everything.
Nee-chan was dead, I had no home, everything I owned except my kimono and my locket was gone, destroyed by the fire. I was truly alone.
The lump in my throat grew larger, refusing to leave. First now, the thought that I'd have to take action came to me.
'I can't just stand here and let her do all these things to me! I have to do something!'
'Okay, think. I need to figure out what to do… the village is too far away, and I'm in no shape for running, the closest neighbour is too far away, if I scream for help, the fireworks will drown the sound, there's no one near who can help me… but what can I do?'
I suddenly realised what it was in my hands. Two, very sharp katanas. I knew what I had to do. And that knowledge actually made me smile, a cruel, sadistic smile. I would get to kill her again. I would have my revenge. Twice. Lucky me.
'Okay… her strength is her fire…uh… things… her weakness is that she can't walk. I have to be fast…'
I rose to my feet, and winced as I realised my own weaknesses; I was badly hurt, losing blood fast and my legs were in no shape of running.
'I don't have a choice. I have to do this. For Miyako… and for me. And if I don't kill her… she will without a doubt kill me.'
I ran at her, gritting my teeth so I wouldn't scream from the pain in my legs. Oka-san shouted something that sounded like 'Katon: goukakyu no jutsu' and a big fireball was coming straight at me. I ran to the left, barely dodging the fireball, and then started to run in a zick-zack pattern, making it easier to dodge the fireballs she sent flying towards me. I was getting closer now.
My legs were protesting at the treatment they were receiving, but I ignored them. I had to.
I readied the katanas, one in each hand, in a steady grip. They were heavy and too long for me, but they were the only weapons I had. I was close enough now. I dropped to my knees and drew the katana in my right hand in a wide sweep across her abdomen; she blocked it with a strange looking knife, but she didn't expect me to move the other katana in my left hand in a stabbing motion. To be honest, neither did I, my body seemed to move at its own accord. She dodged it, but only barely. I don't know how she could move that fast when she was stuck on the ground like that.
"My, my, aren't you just pathetic? I'm not even using jutsus, you've got two katanas, I'm on my knees in the snow, and you still can't harm me in any way!" she snickered. "And here I thought that you might not be completely worthless, but I guess I was wrong, ne…? I wasn't even that great in the academy either! I didn't even graduate as a genin, some bullshit about teamwork… oops! You're not supposed to know that! Oh, well. You'll die soon enough anyway." Her arrogant smirk made my insides boil. How dared she…!
Anger rose within me. I wasn't worthless. I knew I wasn't. If anyone was, it was her! She had destroyed everything I held precious to my heart, and then had the guts to stand here and insult me! She had a lower value than trash! And what the hell was "the academy" anyway? And what was a "genin"?
I gritted my teeth and tried to fight back the rage that made my insides feel like a stormy ocean, my head spin and most importantly, it was making it harder to concentrate on holding the katanas up straight. They really were heavy, and my sword fighting was bad enough as it was.
Then I remembered what had happened last time I had gotten this angry, this very evening. I remembered the wonderful feeling of power, the strength and sharpness of it, the black glow around my hands…
If I could use that, just one more time, I could maybe… maybe kill her…
I started to search for the feeling within me. What had oka-san called it? Chakra…? What a strange name of something so wonderful… it didn't seem to fit the amazing feeling of power, strength at all…
I kept searching for my… chakra… while I fought with the katanas at the same time. It wasn't easy. Where had it gone? Why wouldn't it come out again? I was getting desperate. Without chakra I wouldn't have any chance against oka-san at all!
I went deeper in my search, went deeper within myself. I resisted the urge to squeeze my eyes shut in concentration. If I did, I would be dead meat.
'Come on, come on… please! I have to find it!'
When I was almost ready to give up, there was a spark of black light.
'Found it!'
I focused it to my hands, but didn't stop there. I brought it further out, out on my fingertips, beyond them and out on the katanas. It was sweaty, and I felt that it was going to take quite a toll on me, especially since I wasn't in tip top shape…
But what choice did I have?
So I continued. Small beads of sweat started to appear on my brow, and it felt like my cuts hurt even more now, but I ignored it and focused on making the chakra on the katanas sharp, sharper than any metal ever could be, sharp on all sides. I made it spread beyond the katanas like an aura, razor-sharp as a knife.
Suddenly I lost control of my body completely. It felt like someone else was moving my limbs for me. Maybe it was my instincts that took control over my body, I don't know. All I know is that I had never moved so fast before. My arms felt lighter than ever, as did the katanas.
My arms started to move the katanas in complicated rapid patterns on their own, gracefully tearing oka-san's defence down as if it was made of thin paper. Her confident, arrogant smirk slowly started to disappear, being replaced by a look of disbelieve and horror.
My legs and my feat began to move too. I was circling her, my arms and legs moving gracefully, creating a rapid, lethal dance. The long kimono sleeves flowed in the air, my obi flowing behind me. I was a dancer who killed. No, I was a marionette, a puppet. After all, I wasn't the one in control.
Still, I felt my pride roar in satisfaction, and something I would later know was bloodlust began to grow within me. I wanted to tear her apart, limb by limb, rip her open letting all her body fluids flow freely onto the snow. I wanted her to suffer as much as possible. I wanted her to feel the pain she had made me feel all those years in the basement, where no one heard my cries for help, where she ignored my begs for her to stop, where she, while smiling that sickening sugary smile, hit me until I was unconscious, where I almost lost the will to live, hadn't it been for that day I managed to escape…
Somewhere, my mind registered that oka-san was screaming, begging me to spare her life, whimpering that it hurt, whining like a stray dog as her blood splattered on the snow, dying it crimson and I loved every second of it. The blood, her begging for mercy, the revenge… a part of me knew that I was going crazy but I just couldn't bring myself to care.
My mind suddenly registered what I had done to her. It was impossible to recognise her face now, it had too many cuts. Her annoyingly bright pink clothes were now torn; well it was more like rags now and they were completely soaked with her blood. 'Pretty colour…' I noted absentmindedly.
Her left side was ripped open, and I could actually see the bones in her ribcage.
'How strange… I don't remember doing all that…'
My eyes darkened as I spoke.
"Ne, oka-san? You said that you were tired earlier, right?" my voice came out soft and controlled, with a sinister undertone in it.
"What the hell has that to with anything, you fucking brat!?" she screeched.
"Well, it's just that I agree with you there. It is late. I'm not tired, but it seems like you are, so sleep. And I don't think you should wake up."
I ran the katana in my right hand through her chest. Her eyes widened and she coughed up blood.
"You fucking bitch…"
The last words of my mother were not big, not impressive, just a spontaneous reaction to my behaviour. And I couldn't bring myself to give a damn.
***
I felt empty, dead inside. What did it matter if I wanted to live? My chances of surviving weren't exactly big… come to think of it, why even bother living? Nee-chan, the only one that cared at all, was gone. I wanted her back, more than anything. I know that nee-chan wanted me to live. But…
'But what do I want? What do I have to live for? Is there even a chance for me to survive at all?
Nee-chan used to tell me stories about princesses that got rescued by knights in shining armour, and lived happily ever after… maybe someone will come and save me too, even though I'm not a princess?
…But even if I'm saved, get my wounds healed and a second chance at life… what will I do then? Where will I live? What will I eat? Who will tell me stories of princesses and knights in shining armour, or sing lullabies for me when I'm having nightmares?
… Somehow, I don't think I'll live happily ever after…'
I felt the now familiar lump grow in my throat, tears threatening to fall, and the cold, hard grip on my heart tightened painfully.
'No, I won't cry…only weaklings cry. Nee-chan died because I was a weak, crying baby!' I felt so pathetic, worthless…
'No! I'm not worthless! I defeated her, I had gotten my revenge. If I can do that, surely I could take care of myself? Right…?'
'Ya, you'll do fine, gaki. You've got me, don't you?'
I froze. My eyes scanned my surroundings quickly. There was no one there except my mother's corpse. But where did that voice come from? Unless…There was someone inside me?
I felt myself beginning to hyperventilate. That meant, whoever or whatever it was… could kill me from the inside….
'I have to get it out of me!' I grabbed one of the katanas. I hissed sharply in pain as my muscles protested when I lifted it and pointed it towards my chest.
'I have to get it out, have to get it out, get out, get out, get out,getout,getout, GETOUT!!'
I brought it down hard, squeezed my eyes shut and braced myself for the blow that never came.
'I'm not hurt..? But how…?' I opened my eyes. I stared in disbelief at the katana in my hand. It had stopped merely a few centimetres from my chest.
'Knock it off would you! You should be grateful that I'm here, you now!' the voice was slightly miffed.
'Who are you? What are you talking about? Why are you inside me!?' I was confused, scared and angry, but I put the katana down.
'Fine, fine, just calm down, okay? I'm not too sure who I am, hell, I don't even know my name, all I know is that I was supposed to be reincarnated. Something must've gone wrong somewhere, I mean, now you're schizophrenia and all.'
'Schitzo-what? What's that?'
'Uh, never mind. What I meant with me helping out, I really thought that you would have figured it out by now. Didn't you think it was strange that you could run non-stop for two days? Or that you won your first swordfight without any training at all?'
'…that was you? You were the one who took control over me?
'Yeah, you kind of suck at sword fighting, and if you die, I die, so didn't really have a choice you know. And I was the one who helped you run those days to by the way!'
'But how…? How is that possible?'
'How the fuck should I know? You owe me two favours and a 'thank you'!'
'Oh, well… I guess you're right. Thank you for helping me.'
'Nah, don't mention it. Now I think it's time for you to answer my questions. Who are you? Who was that woman? Why was that woman trying to kill you?'
'Well, the woman was oka-san. She doesn't like me very much, I think she hated me just as much as I hated her, but I don't know why. As for me… I don't know who I am, I don't know where I'm from, I don't know the name of neither my mother nor my father. I don't know my own name. I don't think I have one.'
'We really are alike, huh gaki. We don't know a shit about ourselves.'
'…ne? If… if you don't mind… maybe you could give me a name?'
'Why not? I'm not exactly busy. But in return, I want you to give me a name. Deal?'
'Deal.'
'Hmm… let's see… I wanna pick a name that suits you… do you like flowers?'
'Hai, nee-chan worked in a flower shop, she taught me about the language of flowers, different sorts of them… and they're really pretty, and they smell good and…'
'Okay, okay I get the message, you like flowers. Any favourites?'
'Well… I like lilies…'
'Hah, well, that's funny. Don't you know that a lily symbolizes death?'
'What? But according to the flower language, a lily means purity, not death.'
'Yeah, but lilies always appear on funerals, so they got to have something to do with death right?'
'Oh. Well, I don't really mind that. Killing is fun.'
'…you are one weird kid, you know that?'
'I don't mind being weird either. But let's get back to the naming thing.'
'Right. Okay, you need a last name too. What else do you like?'
'I don't know… you can decide for me.'
'Well, you were creepy as hell when you killed your mom, not to mention cold… a lily represents death in my opinion, coldness goes great with that…. Okay I think I've got it.'
'You do? Tell me!'
'Your name is now Fuyuno Yuri, the Lily of Winter. Pretty cool, ne?'
'Yuri… I like that name. Arigato. Now it's your turn. First I just need to know… are you a boy or a girl? I can't tell by your voice.'
'I'm a girl. No, wait, I'm a guy. Yep, I'm definitely a guy. I ...think… uh… Let's just say that I'm a guy, ne? This is just too confusing.'
'…Right. So what do you like?'
'…shiny things, preferably sharp objects.'
'…and you say I'm weird? Okay… shiny… sharp… shiny…sharp… got it.'
'So soon? You're a lot quicker than me. It's not a crappy name, right? Or is that the reason it went so quick?'
'…well, I like it at least. Your name is either Fuyuno Koori or Fuyuno Hari, Ice of Winter or Crystal of Winter.'
'I don't like either of those names, they're so… girly.' He shuddered. Well, at least I think he did. 'Wait a sec, why did you put Fuyuno there? That's your name.'
'Well, you're pretty much the only family I have now, so why not? And by the way, Hari is not that girly, it can mean needle too.'
'…needle? And how is that not girly?'
'okay, I get it, let me think… how about Fuyuno Shimo? Frost of Winter.'
'That's not very original. I don't like it either.' He whined.
'Fine! If you're going to be that picky, I'll just call you Touki then.' I huffed…thought… whatever.
'….Touki? …Fighting spirit? That's so lame…'
'Well too bad, I'm not picking anything else! It suits you, I mean, you're a spirit (I think) and you fought for me, so… you're my fighting spirit, right? Welcome to the Fuyuno family, Touki. I suppose that since we're sort of 'born' today, we're twins.'
'Nuh-uh! I'm definitely older!'
'Fine… happy birthday Touki-nii-chan.'
'Same to you, Yuri-imouto-chan.'
As the conversation ended and silence returned, my thoughts began to turn to things that I didn't really want to think about. My survival.
'Ne…Touki?'
'Hmm?'
'Do you… do you think we'll survive this?'
'…Do you want me to be nice, or be honest?'
'You decide.'
'Well. In that case, I'll go with honest. Nope. We're dead meat.'
I sighed. It wasn't a surprise, far from it actually, but to hear him say it like that… well, it wasn't exactly something I loved to hear. So I turned me ears' attention to my locket instead. The tune had almost ended when I heard running feet. Was help coming? But how cold they've kno- of course! The fire. A forest fire like that was bound to attract the attention of at least someone, right?
I could actually feel a small smile that slowly began to appear on my face. Someone was going to help me. I'd be fine.
I suddenly realised that the tune of my locket had ended, and I began to wind it up again. This time, it served its original purpose and my eyelids became heavier and heavier as I slowly drifted off to sleep, unable to stop myself.
Somewhere far away, I heard upset, shouting voices, and the running feet were coming towards me now. The voices came closer and closer to me, but I couldn't hear what they were shouting about. I felt myself being picked up by strong arms. I looked up into a pair of shocked eyes and a metal plate with a strange symbol on it.
'It looks like someone has come to save us, ne Yuri…'
Then the world became black.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Author's note!
WAHOO! This is my debut at fanfiction! Me ish so pwoud of meself! X3
Anyway, this is my first story, so please be nice, okay? I'm completely new at this, and English is not my native language, so it is a little hard for me to describe things, ect. So why don't you give me some suggestions or constructive criticism in your reviews? Flames will be ignored anyway, ooor you'll just get yelled at by me. A lot. ^^
With each chapter, I will recommend another story, so you have something to read while waiting for updates. I will also answer any questions you might have about my story, as long as their not perverted, because then I will hunt you down wearing a clown-costume, skin you alive with a spoon, cover you in salt and then lecture you about asking perverted questions and flaming peoples stories. ^^
….. or not…. You'll just sue my sorry ass all the way to hell, and I like my ass where it is now.
(mumbles) oh, my precious, precious ass, I won't let them take you….
….
Okay, your' expressions are probably something like: 0.0 right now, so I'll just recommend the story and get the hell out of here before you drag me to the nut-house…
Here it is!
Authoress:
Draguna Doragon
Story:
'A minx, a vixen and a snake'
Ya bettah read it, bitches, coz it kicks ass!
See ya!
Izuru-sama
REVIEW DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .