I'm not sure, but I think that I'm gonna make this a one-shot fic or not… but if not, it may take me a while to update between chapters… lotsa homework and swim practice. Let me know what you think as it's my first fic that's not a poem, lol. Hope you enjoy!Mrs. Black
I just sit. Gazing off into space as I have done so often lately. I wonder what's wrong with me? I'm not hearing a word of Harry and Ron's obviously hilarious conversation; not watching their competitive game of wizard's chess. I just feel… disconnected.
Deciding that a walk would be nice… as nice as it can feel to me right now. I just get up and leave, ignoring Harry's protests and Ron's questioning glance. I pass the Fat Lady and walk down to the grounds.
The lake looks inviting, but I'm just not in the mood. I suddenly get a rush of adrenaline and run. I run like Voldemort's chasing me; like I will be killed if I stop. But at the moment, that doesn't seem like such a bad thing.
I wonder why I feel this way. I have great friends. My grades are excellent. The teachers love me. My parents are supportive and loving. What could be wrong? I have this seemingly wonderful life, but I wish that I could just disappear and die. I know I would never commit suicide, but I want someone to come by and kill me.
I sit and rest against a tree after I'm about half a mile away from the school. Then something pops into my head. My boyfriend from last year. I miss him so much. He used me. I was nothing but a toy. Of course I never let him get too far. This was the reason that he left me. Left me for that Christine. Perfect, easy Christine who gave him everything he wanted. It didn't matter that he had ripped my heart out or that I genuinely loved him… he wanted her.
All my tears are washed up. He's an alumni now, and came back just the other day. I wanted to talk to him… tell him how much I missed him. But he didn't talk to me. He, once again, chose Christine over me and talked to her. He's going to go fight for the Order now and may never come back.
He was a Slytherin. A Slytherin who knew just what to say and when. When he couldn't get very far with a Gryffindor, he went to another Slytherin. Who ruined my first relationship with a guy. He knew my vulnerability and took advantage of it.
Hermione and Josh… nope. That doesn't work for me anymore.
So what do you think!? Please review! This is based on my own experience… and I'd be willing to talk about it if you want to. Josh was actually his name, too. Once again, please review! I don't care about criticism or flames. I use it to my advantage or just let it roll off my back.