Broken
(the song is Broken by Scott Stapp. I own neither it nor the TMNT. This fanfiction is a sort of look at the Mikey a few months after my fanfiction 'Letter'. It shows just how far reaching the effects of depression and suicide can be. How easily it is not to notice that someone we know in our lives is suffering, to us it may be something insignificant, that we can just shrug off and keep going. To someone else it can be the cause of so much pain. I know it's very short.
Do you know what it feels like to be broken and used, scared and confused?)
()()()()()()
(Mikey's POV)
(Why are we overcome with fear?
What if I told you that fear isn't real.
Why are we overcome by death?
What if I told you my friend your doubt
You could live without!
There is a question I want to understand
Why can't everyone tell the truth and learn to love again
Do you know what it feels like to be broken and used, scared and confused?
Yes, I know
One more question I know time is dear
Is what the world speaks of love really real?
the answers not of this world but very clear
Love above to find love and you found eternal life))
I'm so scared right now, not of the dark or a spider or something small like that. Inside it hurts so much, it feels like someone has a fist clenched tight around my heart. I want so much to be able to laugh, to be able to remember Laura as she was.
But...just how was she?
I know she didn't just wake up some morning and decide that today was the day. Today was the day to end all the days before it. I feel that ache in my chest even more, that great weight that I can't seem to shift no matter how hard I want it gone. Everytime I think about it I think 'this isn't what she would've wanted...', but I don't know that. I don't know what she would have wanted, because as much as I want to think that we loved each other there was always this part of herself that she kept hidden from me. Like a mask that she put on whenever she was around me and that's sad. Sad that she didn't think she could trust me enough to show me the real Laura. It's sad that she felt she had to pretend to be someone that she wasn't.
Why didn't she tell me she was hurting so much?
It's so hard to try and understand what was going through her mind in those last moments. Did she really think that I wouldn't have wanted to help her? I may not have known what to do, or where to get her the help she needed.
But maybe all she really wanted was someone to understand that sometimes she just didn't have it in her to laugh. To even have enough in her to smile. And for them to be okay with that, to not expect her to give more of herself than she had inside her to give.
Why didn't she say...something?
()()()()()()
(Street corner preachers you've heard before
Friendly advice just gets thrown out the door
There is a question that I want to understand
Why can't everyone tell the truth?and learn to love again
Do you know what it feels like to be broken and used?
Scared and confused
Yes I know what it feels like to be broken and used
Scared and confused
Yes I know
I'm Broken!)