Authors notes: This is part of my 3rd season reality-yeah, me and reality;-)
Also- Hudson fans turn back now! 2) Warning, very sappy!(it suited
my mood)
Tim ran, trying to distance himself from the attackers. Miguel was behind him, trying to keep up. He head been shot once , just below the knee. Tim knew if he tried to help him, they'd both get captured and killed. He could hear the Krytec's getting closer. He heard Miguel shout, "Tim, help me, I don't want to die."
He ran even faster, hoping that they might be happy just killing one of them. Laser fire almost hit Tim, but he managed to duck. He heard the most horrible scream, then looked back. They had gotten Miguel. He looked up, trying to find Tim, fear radiating from his body. He screamed one last time before Tim's view was blocked.
"Tim!"
Tim twisted and rolled on his bunk, sweat making his shirt stick to his body. Tear flowed down his face as he tired to fight the nightmare. He finally managed to roll himself to the edge of the bed, then fall out of bed, pulling half the covers with him. He sat in the floor, shuttering, trying to rid himself of the nightmare.
His rational mind knew that hadn't happened, couldn't have happened. He loved Miguel more than anything. He would have sacrificed himself to save his lover. Tim had also been on the bridge during the fight. He hadn't wanted Miguel to go with the boarding party, but the Sensor Chief had swore that it would be ok. He argued that they had been in worse situations and still came out on top. Tim shook his head, trying to bring himself back from the memories.
He finally got up from the floor, then walked to the shower to wash off the sweat and nightmare. A shower sometimes helped, it was somewhat relaxing. After the shower, he dressed, not realizing he had put on one of Miguel's old shirts. They had become mixed in with his clothing. There were several that had been separated from the rest because they still smelled like the man he loved.
He looked at the clock. It was only 0330 hrs. He didn't know what to do with the rest of the night. He didn't want to sleep, fearing the dream might return. He thought about turning on some music, or watching a movie. He really wasn't in the mood for either, knowing there was nothing that would suit his mood. A thought popped in his brain. Lucas had said to come by and talk any time he wanted to. Tim mauled the idea over in his head, trying to figure out what new he could even say. Lucas seemed very concerned for him. He decided to see if Lucas was awake.
Tim made his way to to Lucas and Tony's quarters. He knocked quietly. A sleepy Lucas open the door, smiling as he saw who was standing here.
"Sorry, I woke you up. I'll come back some other time."
Tim turned to go, but a hand on his arm prevented him from going far.
"Come in, I wasn't sleeping that well anyway. I'm working on a new program to make Hudson a human being, but it's not working out too well."
Tim laughed, in spite of his mood.
"I don't want to bother you."
Lucas just shook his head as he lead Tim to Tony's bunk. Tim sat down, trying to find something non depressing to talk about. Lucas walked to a box, then pulled out 2 sodas. He opened his, handing Tim one.
"You're not bothering me. I like having company, especially you."
Tim tried to open his, but his hands were trembling too much. Lucas sat down beside him. He steadied the can with one hand, opening it with the other. Tim smiled his thanks, then took a drink of the soda.
"What's the matter?"
Tim shrugged his shoulders as he studied the soda can.
"Did you have another nightmare?"
Tim nodded yes.
"Which one?"
Tim drew a shuddering breath.
"The worst one."
Lucas nodded, trying to figure out how to proceed. Tim was trying to forget everything that had happened. Lucas reached over and held one of Tim's shaking hands with his own. Tim let him, not realizing he was scooting closer to the ensign.
"Tim, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure, but I can't guarantee an answer."
Lucas smiled, then squeezed the slender hand.
"Your dream always shows you leaving him behind. Do you feel that you intentionally left him behind?"
Tim shook his head.
"Not in the sense that I walked away, but I still feel I should have done something."
"Like what?"
"I'm not sure, but still I should have done something."
Lucas nodded, knowing the frustration Tim was feeling.
"Do you think that you are betraying Miguel's memory by accepting what's going on right now?"
Tim looked over, with confusion clearly showing in his eyes.
"I've never thought of it that way. I guess in some ways I do. I guess it's true."
Lucas sat his soda down, scooting closer to Tim.
"Do you think you are responsible for his death?"
The brunette nodded, then looked at Lucas searching for signs of condemnation. There were none, only concern radiated from the perfectly blue eyes.
"Tim, you are not responsible for anything like that. You are the gentlest person I know. You are normally Hudson's target, because you aren't a fighter. The world could use more people like you."
Lucas rubbed Tim's hand, trying to reassure him.
Tim smiled. He looked over at the alarm clock. It was already 0430 hrs. He looked over at Lucas, who was starting to relax. He gently put his hand on Lucas' knee.
"I'd better let you get some sleep or else Hudson will have both our hides tomorrow."
Lucas nodded.
"Are you going to be ok for the rest of the night?"
"Yeah, I think so. You really do help me rationalize this out."
"What do you think friends are for? You can also thank all the filler psychology classes the university threw in because they wanted more money."
"Why psychology classes?"
"It was that or history. History is ok, but I only have so much room in my head for stuff."
Tim laughed, seeing stuff falling out of Lucas' head. Lucas smiled, as he heard the fullness of the sound. It was a good sound. It made him laugh as well.
They relaxed beside each other. Lucas stretched, his back popping audibly. He twisted to the left, trying to get the last vertebrae to pop. It refused. Tim winced as he heard the sound. The sound of bones popping bothered him. He couldn't stand to listen to people popping their fingers. He knew it didn't hurt anything, but it still annoyed him.
"I hate that sound."
Lucas smiled evilly.
"Start popping your fingers and I will tape your hands together."
"Promises, promises."
Tim laughed.
"You need help."
"More than you know. They don't even have a treatment plan for what I have."
Tim looked over, concern troubling his eyes.
"I just thought of this, but is there anything you want to talk about?"
Lucas smiled as he patted Tim's leg.
"Not really. There are times that Hudson makes me crazy, but I'm basically ok."
"I feel bad that you are the one that always listens to me, but never vent anything."
"Tim, I tell you stuff that I wouldn't tell most people. I still bottle some stuff up, but I promise I'll come to you first if I have a problem."
The Lieutenant's eyes were still slightly troubled. Lucas reached over and hugged Tim to him. Tim returned the hug, finally starting to feel like himself again. Tim felt Lucas' body start to relax in his arms. He could tell that Lucas had been sleeping almost as well as he had during the last week. He smiled as an idea came to mind. Lucas had helped him without a thought of to his own problems, so Tim decided to return the favor.
Tim held Lucas with one arm, while rubbing his back with the opposite hand. Lucas laid his head down on Tim, snuggling his nose under Tim's ear. Lucas spoke quietly, yawning as he did.
"Keep that up and I'm going to fall asleep."
Tim smiled.
"That's the plan. You've helped me sleep, so it's my turn to help you."
Lucas tried to fight him, but the warmth of Tim's body against his was satisfying both his body and mind. He whispered in Tim's ear.
"My bunk, I don't want Tony to think he can have the top bunk back."
Tim nodded, letting Lucas get up. Tim took off his boots, then followed Lucas. Lucas laid on his stomach while Tim laid on his side. He rubbed Lucas' back, feeling the muscles relax. He continued to rub Lucas' back until he knew the younger man was asleep. He watched Lucas sleep, playing with the dark blond hair. He was slowly starting to realize that Lucas had saved him. He had made Tim look at life instead of the demons that were chasing him. It was strange, he had made Tim look at his fears rationally, killing them with the light of reality.
Tim traced the prominent facial bones on the side of Lucas' face.
He laughed quietly when Lucas rolled towards him. He scooted to where
they wouldn't fall out of bed, then relaxed against the sleeping body beside
his. He fell asleep, without a nightmare waiting for him.