Tears For Tomorrow
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Our world changed on a Wednesday afternoon, just after the lunch hour had finished. We were all heading back to classes when those gun shots rang out around the school, I was still in the library when the first shots were fired, I didn't know it yet but that was the moment that Dave Karofsky went to meet his maker, I also didn't know that it was one of my friends who was shooting people as I saw people run into the library, the librarian shut and locked the door doing a head count of the people in the room before telling us all to get out of sight.
"Code black, code black, this is not a drill, students to emergency assembly points." Figgin's voice could be heard ringing through the hall ways. Those words chilled me even more than I realized later on, but at that moment I really wasn't sure what I felt. Mike Chang looked over at me confused as he held Tina who was shaking furiously.
More gun shots rang out through the school, for nearly half an hour we could hear screams and shots being fired. Where the hell were the police at that very moment in time. Why the hell weren't they doing something to stop this? Why were they leaving them all so helpless against the people doing this? That was the sum of everything that was going through my mind. I crawled over to Mike and Tina as I was a way from them and hugged Mike I don't know why I did that but I know that it felt like the right thing to do at that moment in time.
"Do you know who is doing this?" I asked him.
"Sam its Kurt." Mike said to me I was stunned. "Him and Puck, I saw them… I saw them and ran." Mike whispered. I felt so numb, why would they do this, why would they… I didn't get it. I still don't get it now after it is over, but back then I was so confused by the whole thing. Kurt was so calm, Puck I guess I could see him doing something completely insane.
"Why?" I asked. I realize now that we all asked those questions in the days that followed.
Maybe an hour after it started, two gun shots were followed by silence a deafening silence. Everything I owned was in my locker, well everything that was at school anyway. So I didn't have my cell phone on me, when other people started to text their folks I sat their numbly shaking.
"Dude you should phone your parents." Mike said to me.
"I left my phone in my locker." I said to him.
"Use mine." Mike said to him.
I took the phone and dialled my dads cell, he picked up on the second ring like he had been waiting for the call or something. I guess that when you know your sons in a school and people are shooting, you can never be sure whether your son is one of them.
"Sam please god tell me that is you, and tell me why you haven't been answering your phone." His father said to him.
"Its me and I forgot it in my bag." I replied.
"Is every body okay in there?" He asked.
"I'm with Mike and Tina, we are in the library." I said to him.
"Is any one hurt?" He asked me.
"No." I replied.
"Okay Sam stay where you are the police are entering the school now." Dad said to me, I couldn't explain why I was so angry but it felt like the police had failed us, that the school had failed us and of course they had. They had failed Kurt and Puck in the worse way imaginable but they had failed us just the same.
News
The new directions were all sat in the hospital waiting room, waiting on news on the two of us who had been shot. Well the two of us who hadn't been the shooters that was, Finn was crying and his parents looked so shocked by the whole thing. Brittany and Rory were in surgery though we didn't know if things were good or bad with them. Mostly though we were all in shock from the news that Mr. Schuester had been killed by Puck according to the news anyway.
I sat with my mom who was hugging me and refused to let go, the whole school was a blood bath. Forty people dead jocks geeks teachers and the like. They hadn't cared who they had been shooting, so long as they were killing people. It wasn't Kurt and Puck any more, it were the two monsters who had done this. Puck's mom and sister sat away from the rest of us, though I didn't blame her for what had happened. How could I, see hadn't put the gun in Puck's hands any more than Burt or Carol had with Kurt. I sighed as I forced myself to stand up and start pacing the waiting room. I didn't want to be sitting any more, I wanted to do some yelling or I wanted to hurt something but of course the enemy was gone they were dead and their was no one here who deserved that.
"Why is it taking so long?" I asked.
"Sam why don't you sit down." Mercedes said to me my eyes met hers but I refused to sit down as I continued my pacing. "You heard the doctors, they said it could be a while." Mercedes said to me I sighed as I slumped back into a chair.
"I don't get this, why, why would they do this?" Tina said to no one in particular.
"I don't know." Artie said. "I just hope that Rory and Brit are okay." Artie said. Santana who had been quiet all night sat there staring at them like they had grown an extra head.
It was nearly dawn when the doctors pulled Brittany's parents into a side room and told them that Brittany had died, I didn't have a clue that I still had the ability to cry but I did when they told us the news. Rory's parents were still in the air, so they had no news to give us on him just yet but had told us at least that he was out of surgery and alive so yay for small miracles.
Those first few days were some of the hardest of our lives, we were all trying to pick up the pieces of our shattered lives. Trying to make sense of the tragedy that had over taken us, we all tried to make the best of our situation.
Grief
The school opened a week after it had happened, flowers that simply flawed me, their were flowers in the glee club choir room. I broke down again when I saw that and a photo of Schuester, I felt arms wrap around my waist turning to see Quinn there tears in her own eyes. I held her and I hung on for dear life, I didn't want to be here any more, I didn't want to be reminded of the friends I had lost, the friends I would never see graduate because of two people I trusted and loved like brothers.
"I didn't think any one would come in here." Quinn said to me softly.
"I had to, we owe him this much." I said to her she nodded.
"Gleeks." Sylvester said to us from the door way.
"If you're here to give us a hard time don't bother." I said to her she stared at me for a second before she inclined her head.
"I would like for you to get your friends together, meet me in the auditorium at lunch." Sue said to us we nodded. "It will be worth your while." Sue told us before leaving the room and us alone again. I turned to Quinn and kissed her cheek.
"I'll text the boys." I said to her. What was left of us anyway.
"I'll take care of the girls." She said to me I left then, I didn't want her to see me cry again I didn't want to feel any more, I didn't want these feelings. I didn't want to deal with Puck and Kurt and what they had done to us all, that they couldn't take their responsibility for their actions. Becky and Schue, Brittany, I pounded my first into the nearest locker before continuing my way down the hall.
Glee-Glee
"You got us here now what do you want?" Finn asked Sylvester. It was a much angrier and darker Finn that had come back. His family like Pucks had taken hard press since it happened, they weren't to blame but it wasn't how people saw it.
"I know that you have all been through a lot these last few couple of weeks. But I know also know that if you don't go to Regionals in a month, then their deaths will have been for nothing." Sylvester said to them. "Which is why I have asked to take over the glee club, until a full time coach can be found." Sylvester said to them.
"Why do you care?" Finn snarled.
"Its what Mr. Schue would have wanted." I said to him. "We should do it for them." I added.
"Even if we do, we don't have enough people." Mike said to him.
"Then we'll find some." I said to him.
"You put it together, I'll find your team." Sue said to us. I don't think any of us realized it at that moment, but she was trying to put us back together one piece at a time. Why we had no idea, as far as we all knew she hated our guts. Of course we were the hardest hit team in the school, the jocks had lost a few but spread out among the teams.
"For Brit and for Rory and Mr Schuester, we need to do this." I said to Finn.
Acceptance
The night before regional's we were all in our hotel rooms, paid for by Sylvester, Finn and I were in our room together. Finn staring at the ceiling while I watched the game on the box.
"I don't want to do this." He said finally after six hours of silence, which was the first words he had spoken since we entered the room. Actually it was the first time we had spoken to each other since we entered our rooms. I looked over at him and decided to get to my feet. Sitting down on the edge of his bed I tapped his leg. "What?" Finn demanded as he sat up.
"I don't want to do this, but we have to do this." I said to him.
"Why?" Finn asked.
"Because we owe it to them." I said to him softly. "We should finish what we started with them, win nationals for them." I said to him. "If we let what Kurt and Puck did beat us, this becomes an even bigger tragedy than it already is. I'm sick of being the victim, I'm sick of people looking at us like we might be the next ones to start shooting people." I said to him. "I am so tired of jumping every time a locker slams shut near me." I said to him.
"That's my brother dude." Finn snapped.
"You are as angry with him and Puck as the rest of us are Finn." I said to him. "You have it bad because you have to deal with people blaming you for what he did and not stopping it." I said to him Finn growled as he looked at me tears in his eyes.
"Could we have?" He asked.
"I don't know, I'd like to think so." I said to him. "Every night I pray for answers." I said to him.
"And what does the big man say?" Finn asked I snorted.
"I don't know he isn't answering my calls right now, to tell you the truth I'm a little pissed about that." I said to him Finn laughed.
"What if I can't get past this?" Finn asked.
"You will, it just takes time." I said to him.
"You already have." Finn said to me I laughed hollowly at this.
"Really because I feel like someone is tearing my heart out every time I look at you." I said to him. "Any of you actually." I admitted. "Watch the game with me man, lets watch the Giants kick some ass." I said to him with a half smile on my face.
Results
Lord knows how we made it to nationals, Finn and I bunked together again, this time though he was still moody and broody. He wasn't in the bad place as badly as he had been. Kurt and Puck had been buried and believe it or not that had helped us all to come to terms with what had happened. It had given us all peace of mind for the first time. School had become a lot easier for us as well, that was one thing that we could all live for. No one was willing to chance a second take on the school shooting.
Standing on that stage on the final night of nationals, we'd made it this far we just need to make it to the win. Then this would have been worth it, everything that had happened would have meant something, the tragedy, our friends we had lost the people we had buried. I wiped tears from my eyes as I held Quinn to me I kissed her as we waited.
"And the winners of the national show choir competition 2012 are." The announcer started I tightened my hold on Quinn. Every one who was in the building knew our story, we'd made the national papers on more than one occasion since the shootings. "McKinley High New Directions." The announcer called… I didn't hear the rest of what was said. The tears that we had all held back over the last few months came as a mic was pressed into my hand. Of course we were expected to sing again for the crowd. How the hell are we meant to do that. I turned into the arms of Quinn kissing her properly on the lips she was shocked for a moment before returning the kiss.
"Their expecting us to sing." Quinn said to me.
"Yeah I know." I said to her. "Guys huddle." I said to the others.
"We have to sing." Finn muttered.
"Easy, Rachel." I said to her she nodded her head. "For Schue." I said to them.
"Schue." They replied.
Graduation
"This graduating class has faced more adversity this year than any other graduating class that has passed through these doors. When you leave here today, spend a moment and think about the people who will not be going to college this year. The people we leave behind, so that they never can be forgotten." Mercedes said to the field of seniors. I smiled as I looked at Quinn who was holding my hand, we'd finally hooked it up a few weeks back, as it happened we'd be at the same college in the fall and that was fine with me. I didn't want to imagine life without her right now. I still couldn't think about tomorrow, I had to take each day as it came. Sure there were better days and bad days of course, I didn't have the panic attacks as much as I used to. I still have them of course but they weren't as frequent.
"Its done." Quinn said to me softly.
"Yeah I know." I said to her. "Come on, we said we'd go to the choir room for one last meeting." I said to her she smiled as she got to her feet and followed me back into the school. It had changed their were guard stations at the entrances, checking for weapons among other things.
We'd not be coming here again for a few years, though we were all happy to be able to come here one last time. The glee club were waiting for us, Sue Sylvester with them. It would be a team lead by Artie and Tina next year, they'd co captain it from what we had been told and it was funny that Ms. Pillsbury would be taking over the roll from Schuester but it kind of made sense as well.
"Guys congratulations." Tina yelled at us as we came across the threshold of the class room. No party poppers here, for my sake I guessed. "I can't believe that its over." Tina said to them.
"Not over, just a new beginning for the New Directions." Quinn said to her she smiled at this.
"You guys when do you have to leave?" Artie asked.
"Tomorrow." I said to him. "I'm checking out apartments with my folks and Quinn." I said to them. "But we will be back in the summer. You guys have to come to the wedding." I said to them.
"Wait what?" Every body looked at them shocked.
"Sam proposed at senior prom." Quinn said dangling the ring for them all to see. "I of course said yes." Quinn added.
"Guys congratulations." Finn said hugging me tightly.
Epilogue
I am not sure how we got threw that second half to senior year but we did, the marriage is in a few weeks, it will be my first time back in Ohio since the who graduation. My parents moved back to Kentucky, I am guessing that they didn't want to be reminded of the day they nearly lost me. I look back on that day now, no longer scared of walking college hallways, I know that I have to confront my demons soon but for the first time in a long time. My fight with my demons, I think it's a fight I can win. That however is a story for another time. Till then, remember that your friends are meant to be for life, not just for you to throw them away. Maybe your prevent something like this happening, by reading my account of what happened at McKinley high that day.
I will never forget the friends I lost, nor will I forget the friends I made for life that day.
Authors note:
This is a one shot, I did it as an experiment if you hate it let me know please, if you would like another part likewise let me know. I didn't want to do a massive sixty page one off guys, this was a little experiment of mine and I really do hope that you like it.