AN: Okay, I nearly went into spasms reading this....I am so ashamed...so I decided I'd fix spelling etc....maybe I can still salvage my pride here...
Okay, in my book, nobody knows whether Tsukasa is a boy right now, it's set right when Tsuk and Subaru get together, before 'Declaration'. Oh, did you know I hate Tsu/Subaru?
I use some Japanese words off and on in this book, no doubt I shall misuse them, but such is fate.
ahem
If you think Mimiru is a bit of a B in this chapter...well...she is...she's emotionally off balance.
--------------------------
Chapter 1: Longing
I watch him, whispering sweet nothings into her ears, holding her hand, hugging her tight, kissingher lips....I'm the one he should be holding...the woman whose lips should be so lovingly caressed. I'm the one who found him, who cut through the icy layers of the walls around his heart. Untilshe stole him away. The thief, she pilfered his heart, and kidnapped his love...and I...I who have fought for love my entire life....am alone. Perhaps Tsukasa will still hear me, perhaps Tsukasa would love me still....I must try.....Diary.
Solomnly, She shut her small diary, and walked up to her computer, taking a seat at the desk. She placed the VR set on her head and booted up the computer. The sad sound of a lone flute greeted her as 'The World' opened, and He greeted her, His smiling face taking up the entire sceen, smiling at her alone.....Tsukasa.
I will have that smile Tsukasa....and you will give it to me....only me... She thought to herself, as she logged on.
She knew it wouldn't be difficult to find Tsukasa. These days he was always at Mac Anu...where she was. All that would change soon, oh yes, his arms would be around her, only HER!
"Sakura!" Came a voice from behind her. Only one man called her that, which seemed to make it even more of an oddity, seeing as who it was.
"Crim?" Mimiru asked, turning to greet him.
"I didn't expect to see you here. What brings you here so early, 'kura-chan?" He asked, smiling.
"I....I have to go, um....see you, Crim." Mimiru mumbled.
"Wait, Sakura!" He called from behind her as she was leaving, holding her up once more.
iAt this rate, she'll get to Tsukasa first!
"I want...to tell you...something..." He said cautiously.
"What? What is it? And who gave you the right to call me Sakura, anyways?!" She snapped, glaring back at him. "The only reason you even know that name is because I slipped up!"
His eyes widened at her spiteful comment, and his outstretched hand fell to his side, "You're right, I guess this is a bad time....see you..."
Annoyed with his pointless interruption, she huffed angrily, and stormed away, heedless of his obviously hurt feelings. All that mattered now, was Tsukasa, him...and only him.
When she warped in to Mac Anu, he was waiting for her....alone.
Crim sat in the shade of a large windmill, the winds of Dun Loriag blew mercilessly on his face. He could actually feel the wind...it was a side effect of the virus...both good and bad. The novelty of feeling a game had worn off, and all it had left him with was a burning heart, and a longing he could never fullfill.
He felt a single, burning, tear resting on his proud cheek, as if unwilling to relinquish it's perch on the once proud warrior's cheek.
Sakura...no...Mimiru...that was all the rash, young, beautiful warrior would ever allow him to think of her as. Her adoration lay only in Tsukasa.
Crim gave a bitter laugh, which echoed throughout the hollow caverns of The Windy Server.
Tsukasa had taken Subaru, too.
Not that Crim blamed him for Subaru....He had not tried to fall in love with her...any more than Crim himself, had tried to love her. Mimiru...Her smile could brighten the darkest mood, and her glare.... His single tear ran slowly down his damp cheek and fell off of his chin, landing on the arm he had propped on his knee, too heavy to remain on the spearman's cheek any longer.
It was replaced quickly by a mirror one, and another, and another.
Soon, his proud tears flowed freely, as he dwelt on his 'forbidden fruit' sinking into despair.
The beautiful Heavy Blade, she was just as beautiful in real life as she was in 'the world', and as witty, and as intellegent, and.....
If only he could adhere to the rules he had once told BT so proudly...but, ever since he could feel, could touch her face...things had been so different. Ever since the day he had rescued her...the day he had kissed her. He had thought the kiss was so innocent then.
He sighed, "Why do you lie to yourself, Ken?"
He stood up suddenly, he had to speak with Mimiru, he had to tell her...no matter what.
"Tsukasa!" She breathed. There he stood, the object of her affection, no, obsession.
"Mimiru....I wasn't expecting you here..." he said, eyes wide with surprise.
"Are you...dissapointed?"
"N-no...not really...it's good to see you again, Mimiru."
"I-it's good to see you, too...." She whispered, lost in his endless, beautiful, lavender eyes.
"I....um....What are you doing here...today?" Tsukasa asked softly, lowering his eyes.
"Tsuk...I came here....to tell you something...."
"Wh-what is it, Mimiru?" He asked, looking up at her again.
"I.....I....I'm madly and comepletely in love with you!" She blurted, all thoughts of planning thrown out of the window.
Tsukasa took a surprised step backwards, his eyes confused a moment, then his expression changed to one of sadness, " Mimiru...I...I'm sorry...I..."
I'm Sorry
The words rang hollowly in her ears. All of her strength, her confidence, her boldness, melted away, leaving her without the strength even to stand. Slowly, she slid weakly to her knees.
"Mimiru....I..." He started, touching her shoulder. "I had no idea...that you felt that way...I...I'm not sure....how to say this....I mean....I want to stay your friend...and I..."
"You.....you didn't KNOW?!.....I....I....I.." She sobbed, "Just....please....go away Tsukasa...go..."
"I.....alright....." He said quietly, "I...I'll see you..tomorrow then..."
She silently watched him step back, and warp away.
He....left her.
She knew exactly who he was going to.
She flung her head into her arms and tried to stifle her sobbing.
Suddenly, a hand touched her shoulder and an arm wrapped around her other comfortingly.
"Who ever you are....Go away!" She spat, but the man only held her tighter.
Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw red clothes.
-------------------------------------------------
AN: You wouldn't believe how difficult this was for me to write the next chapter.....I nearly gave into my sympathy and and changed the end.....Im such a sucker. Oh well, plz review anyway and tell me if I should have settled for a lemon
PLZ?!! WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I THINKING!
So you know, I'm not that soft anymore, either.
Yusagi Sombermoon