Validating his virginity
By: kickers-ej
Disclaimer : I don't own Naruto, or his virginity… both are Sasuke's
Note : Just something I cooked up while reading yaoi manga…Enjoy. Giftfic for my Super Spiral readers.
"I don't think its gonna work Naruto," Sakura confronted Naruto one fine day, while team 7 was busy practicing their tai-jutsu. Sasuke had quirked an eyebrow at this sudden accusation. Is Sakura insinuating a project that wasn't really falling into place.
"Huh?" okay, apparently not a project. Naruto is someone who would remember if he had something going on at the moment. Unless, it was something that he wouldn't think would fail in the middle? Like a relationship?
Sakura and Naruto were in a relationship??! Not a chance! Sasuke was the one who will have a relationship and that didn't involve sakura or any other girl!
Sasuke will have to split them apart then. Although it was cruel to Sakura, but Sasuke never gave a damn about her in the first place.
Naruto continued on staring.
"I heard from my sources that you are…ahem, frisky," Sakura mumbled, in remorse.
"WHAT??!!" "DOBE!"
"Where did that came from?!!" Naruto glanced between Sakura and Sasuke, looking scared if people were spreading rumors about him. That just won't do!! He was just about to make the first move!
Sasuke, calm on the outside, crying on the inside, was not happy at this turn of information. The dobe was not of virgin origins? And here he was, saving himself like some pious girl trying to trick God and Santa that she had been a good girl; until the man of his dreams came along.
"I heard that, it was a high chance that you had done with Lee, Shikamaru, Shino and Sai," Sakura added. Naruto was speechless. Those guys?! Heck, he didn't even like those guys?! What's the basis of this?!
"The rumours say that you were drunk when it happened, and had mindless smex in a drunken haze," Sakura informed some more.
"So, the only way this was gonna work is if you, go to these people, and ask for a recorded proof that you guys haven's popped each other's cherries," Sakura finished with a flourish. With that she turned, smirk silently, and then went off.
Naruto remain speechless for about 5 seconds after that, took a quick look at Sasuke, made up his mind then sped off to Iruka's house.
He had to get those rumours off his tail! If there was even a slight doubt in his purity, then people may use that when he wanted to go serious! And he can't let that happen.
Sasuke took off into the trees, following Naruto so that he could justify for himself that the usuratonkachi was pure. He vaguely remembers those guys taking Naruto home after a celebratory drink, but who hasn't? He's probably taken Naruto home more so than all the other guys combined (times 3), but how come there wasn't any rumours about him and Naruto having wild smex??!
He would just have to find out the truth.
"Iruka-sensei! Iruka-sensei!! Please!! I need to borrow your voice recorder!!" thumping erratically on the front door, Iruka ushered Naruto in.
"What? Why? You're not using it for a prank are you?" Iruka questioned. Nonetheless, he took out his voice recorder, and passed it to Naruto. The boy seemed desperate.
"No!! I have to record a confession of the guys that didn't have smex with me so that my one true love won't get the wrong idea when I ask them out on a date bye see ya!" Naruto sped off in search of the first person.
Lee.
How can anyone find it in their hearts to accuse him of sleeping with Lee?! Come one! One look at that spandex clad body and his family jewels would shrink into his body in 2 miliseconds!
Naruto spotted Lee training with Neji. He flung himself at Lee only to have the man grab his outstretch arm and fling him to the ground. Neji retreated to get out of the way.
"Lee!! Tell me we didn't have smex before!"
Both lee and Neji sputtered.
"Naruto-kun, I am honoured that you are inviting me to dance the dance of youthful lovers, but I must decline your request," Lee bowed.
"I don't want to have smex with you, idiot!! I want to know if you forced yourself on me while you were on take home duty??!" Naruto wailed while turning on the recorder. He made a few noises to check if the device was working then looked expectantly at Lee. Sasuke remained in the trees to avoid further conflict. Lee looked perplexed at the statement, and then laughed out loud.
"Naruto-kun~ I could not have had intercourse with you. You were too busy wallowing in your unrequited love. You always act peculiarly while you were drunk, so Neji and I made sure to accompany each other on take home duty," Lee finished. He looked at Neji and the prodigy nodded in agreement.
"Yes, Lee definitely did not have smex with you Naruto, you were always busy saying Sa..,"
"Well thanks guys!! See you later!! You saved my life Bushy brows!!" Naruto sped before the name was revealed to the recorder. No way in hell is his love finding out he liked them before he said it himself; in person. Sasuke felt heartbroken, hearing Naruto pining after Sakura in his drunken state.
But he'll keep following Naruto and make sure he's clean from other accusations too. He can always steal Naruto away from Sakura later.
"Naruto, sex is too troublesome. And I don't even like you in that way," Shikamaru muttered in annoyance.
Naruto sighed in relief. Two more to go. He knew he wouldn't embarrass himself and let him take Shikamaru to bed. No offense, but junior wouldn't response to Shikamaru anyway. There's a lack of feistiness that he always find irresistible in Shika.
"Thanks Shika!!" Naruto sped off again, in search of Shino.
Shikamaru sighed once more before noticing a shadow following Naruto. Using his genius mind, Shikamaru could smell a set up. Ino and Sakura must have something to do with this.
Troublesome.
Sasuke was sure that was a given. Shikamaru doesn't seem like the type to have smex with drunk people. The repercussions were just too damaging, and the guy was lazy to even eat lunch!
He looked as Shino blushed while Naruto pestered him about his virginity.
"No Naruto, I am not a virgin," Shino pushed his sunnies further along his nose. Naruto seriously was thinking of crying.
"NOOO~!!! Shino!! Don't tell me we had?" Naruto pressed on. This was not looking good. Shino looked annoyed at being indicated to have sleep around with Naruto.
"But I didn't lose it to you, nor did you lose yours to me," Shino replied. Letting out a breath of relief, Naruto patted Shino on the back. Now its juts Sai.
"Ehh? Then who?" Naruto was curious now. Who would have…
"It was Kiba. All 35 times,"
Yikes!
Naruto went on about his options. Sai was a delicate matter. The man had made it clear that he would annoy the hell out of Naruto in any way that he could, so he must practice tact and discrepancy. He also should attack Sai while there were other people around, but Kakashi and Yamato…? Eerrgh!
But he has to get rid these rumours quick! Approaching the trio, Naruto stepped into their vision to make his presence known.
"Hey, dickless," Sai greeted. Kakashi and Yamato looked on in interest.
"Sai, I need to ask you a serious question, so you have to answer me truthfully,"
"Okay,"
"Did we, ever have, sex together?" Naruto asked in one breath. Both Kakashi and Yamato sputtered. Kakashi really wanted to know where this was heading now.
"Why, Naruto-kun, of course we never had sex before," Sai finished with a smile. Naruto whooped for joy and twirled in happiness. He shook Yamato and Kakashi in his excitement.
Sasuke let out his anxiety flow away. So the dobe was clean. Good.
"Okay, Naruto, don't rape a unicorn now," Kakashi said while patting the boy's head. Naruto blew a raspberry and was about to leave when Sai's voice creeped put him on dead stop.
"Rape? I have done those to Naruto-kun," Sai stated innocently. Yamato dropped on the floor while Kakashi looked like he was about to pass out gas.
Naruto turned to stone.
Sasuke was building up the mangekyou sharingan.
"In fact, I've raped Naruto several times now," Naruto lost consciousness. Goodbye virginity~ taken by force, by a guy that couldn't even differentiate between a man and a tranny. Goodbye one true love~ I always wanted to keep it for you~
Sasuke dropped from the tree he was hiding and caught Sai's neck.
"I'll kill you~!!!"
"Naruto!! Wake up!! Sasuke's out of control!!"
"How the hell did this happen??!!"
"Naruto!"
"Sasuke~!! ACCK!! Stop!"
"Sai!! Don't!"
"uunnh~" Naruto woke up too see carnage before his eyes. Sasuke had manifested the Susanoo, and the team is trying desperately to save Sai's ass. Yamato was still out of it.
Hinata noticed Naruto's conscious state and flung the man at Sasuke in a desperate attempt to stop more bloodshed. Naruto, seeing his one true love getting nearer and nearer to his face, forgot momentarily about his previous plight and hugged the man out of reflex. Immediately Susanoo disappeared, while Sasuke blushed fifty shades red.
"Sasuke~" Naruto rubbed his face onto Sasuke's; making the man (and his junior) happy.
"Okay, let's clear things up with Sai, so that no other unnecessary violence takes place," Tsunade huffed. She was having a nice drink when she saw the Susanoo not far away. Upon hearing Sai's name, Naruto snapped out of his haze and remembered why he was passed out in the first place. He was also aware of the position that he was in, and blushed himself. Sasuke, hearing Sai's name, growled and tried to kill him again.
"Naruto, reprimand him," Tsunade ordered. Not one to disobey orders, (total BS since he always defy The hag), Naruto tightened his hold onto Sasuke, secretly happy that he was able to hug the man he loved. Sasuke quieted down when he realized certain body parts were coming into contact.
"Now, start at the beginning," Tsunade coaxed. Sakura was the one with the opening speech.
"Okay, Naruto was accused of sleeping around with Lee, Shikamaru, Shino and Sai. So, I said to Naruto this morning that unless he could prove that he was still a virgin, any sort of relationship would be futile,"
"Then I dash to Iruka's place to borrow a voice recorder and looked for Lee," Naruto continued on.
"I told Naruto-kun that his youthful cherry was not popped by me," Lee added.
"So I headed for Shikamaru next,"
"I replied it was too troublesome," Shikamaru huffed.
"So I went to see Shino next,"
"I lost my virginity, but it was Kiba all the time," Shino smirked. Kiba blushed and tried to hit his lover.
"Then I went to see Sai,"
"But I only admitted to having rape Naruto~" Sai whined. Naruto wailed in the background while Sasuke struggled strongly. Naruto, in his wailing, noticed Sasuke was getting loose so he tightened the grip. Still feeling resistance from the man below, Naruto tried his next fantasy : grinding.
Indeed, the man froze completely. Blushing while squirming, Sasuke focused his gaze at Naruto's chest, convinced that the man was only doing so in order to make his squeamish and silence him. By doing that, he totally missed the perverted look that Naruto was sporting, as well as the partial nosebleed.
"Okay, back at hand. Sai. What do you mean?" Tsunade asked irritated. She was this close to hit Sai for that statement.
"I do it almost everytime we meet," again, Sasuke snapped and tried to kill Sai, Naruto again, grinding him into submission (with glee).
"Huh?"
"At least, that's what I think it was. I was asking Sakura one day about what she was doing while staring at Sasuke, and she replied she was eye-raping him. So when I pressed further on about what that means, she said that its just her way of appreciating Sasuke's fine beauty," Sai explained.
"Ooooh..," everyone said in unison.
"So Sai was talking about eye-raping," Kakashi concluded. Upon hearing that Sai was actually saying about eye raping and not the actual thing, Naruto transported Sasuke and himself to his house. Everyone blinked at Naruto's eagerness. Shikamaru turned towards Sakura and Ino.
Naruto wasted no time in divesting Sasuke's clothes (as well as his) and resumed the initial position. A dazed Sasuke was aware that his back was lying on someone's bed, but the predatorial look Naruto was having kept him focus on the man.
"Okay, spill it out. This isn't about validating Naruto's virginity was it?" Shikamaru coaxed. Sakura and Ino looked each other before shrugging.
Naruto grinded heavily into the man he wanted to cherry-pop.
"Okay, so I was curious about Lee's cherry," Sakura confessed.
"Aaahhnn~ Naruto? Whaaa~?"
"It has always been you, Sasuke, uunh, aaahh! Only you,"
"And I was curious about yours, even though I should have guessed that answer," Ino told Shikamaru.
"Mmmnhh~ Nooo~,"
"Hmmmmnnh, feels so good,"
"And Kiba was just trying to get Shino to tell Naruto they were in a relationship," Sakura added.
"AAHHNN, AHN! AHN! AHN!"
"What about Sai?"
"Argh~! Sasuke!!"
"AAAAAHHHHNNN~!! NARU!"
"Random comedy factor, solely inserted for entertainment," both chirped.
Note: cherry popping is normally a slang for losing virginity :p thanks for reading!! R n R please!