/'- Fluttershy's awful secrets
It was a bright and sunny day as par usual in and the yellow Pegasus was out feecding her animals and enjoying the fine weather. Jusrt a little after , her friendly white rabbit that was quite fond of being a bitch decided to kick her in the hed to remind her that she never feeds him. Fluttewshy, being the forgetful lazy yellow one she is decided to just throw Angel in the laundry portion of her shed with a shit ton of seeds. That usually works, probably. Now that her anyoying little aninmal friends qwere taken care of, she could begin to mocve the bricks to reveal a brightly decorated cellar. It was a wide opening with many vines and tangeling objects. She was able to avoid them because Fluttershy is a professional and professionals are the best at avoiding tvines and tanglers. She even took a few pictures to prove it. Indside the tangley vine cave there was a collection an areraty of brightly painted skulls, each in itheir own categories denoting the animal species. It was all fine and dandy,m until one's eyes would see and meet the section dedicatged yto ponies. This was a mess of gore anfd flesh with a still partially living pony writhing and screaming in pain. Fluttershy looked at the pony, the pony then looked back at Fluttershy; they were having a stare down. Then Fluttershy remembered that it was going to die and she shut the lid.
This all pleased Fluttershy very much heabvily, so much that she decided to contract Pinkie Pie. And by contract, she maeant she needed a lawyer, uin case all of this senseless slaughtering got her into trouble with the law. Because the pony laws are a bitch and if you break theose, then you better hope that hyou have a good lawyer. It sure is a good thing that Fluttershy is friends with Pinkie Pie, because when it comes to being a good lawyer, Pinkies Pie is the best lawyer in Equestria. Except Pinkie Pie isn'tactually a alawyer at all, she's a partying bum, as per usual. Fluttershy realy just wants to contract Pinkie's deatj, bytut vcome on, we all already knew that. So since we're all just SO PLEASED with ourselves and our abilities to PREDICT. Fluttershy said hello and then Pinkei said hello and then Pinkie told Fluttershy that she just ate a whole squirrel can you believe it a whole squirrel! And then Fluttershy kind of giggled and backed away slightly because she doesn't like squirrels, but she can't tell anyone because she's supposed to like animals and it would be bad if pinkie knew, she soshe withheld her statements. And then Pinkie continued telling Fluttershy that today was the big day. SFluttershy was alultra confused sp pinkie did some great esplainin'. Today is none other than the world champion big big great wonderful ultra turbpo hyper glaucoma seizure induxing laser powered bake bake cupcake cake off.! Fluttershy was quite happy for Pinkie and her big day so shethey hugged and it was happy and they didn't even eat diner that night. And it was great. Fluttershy and Pinkie then decided they would bug twilight, because she actually does aimportant book stuff and what better way to spend the day than annoying soepony who actually gets things done. However, this was not the case,. When the two mares arrived at the door, they arrived to the answering of Twilight's lowly slave er, dragon , Spike. Spike said that tilight was pout to go to the circus because she a has a good unicorn frind there and it was about time she visited and then Spike said he needed to contravct his hands, and by that he meant amake amends with them wfor the sake of RIGHTEOUS LAW and he diggy diggy ge diggy digged all the way down to the ground. DOWN TO THE GFROINGS. Both Pinkie and Fluttershy were quite confused, but they just looke d the other way and pretended it make made sense, then out of NOWEHRE Fluttershy grabbed a lead pipe and began to pbutally smash Spike's skull in with it. Spoike was not enjoying this beating one bit, in fact, he was actually bvery sad and angry. As Spike was dying he had to pray to the dagon agogsgods and wish pray for some way to go to gdragon heaven or something, but little did he know dragons don't have gods so he was fucked. Spike didn't really care at all he already knew he was a heathen, because he ais not a pony. Then Spike remembered he was still dying and that theis writing doesn't have any actual dialogue so Soike said' hey Pinkie! Don't beat my skull in, I need tit to qwrite and perform my djob.' Fluttershy had no compassion for this snort of thing and just snarled back 'well thn, you shouldn't have been so unaware of my master plan, you dolt!' Pinkie an away in terrpor , but she did not do it wuick enough nopony could outrun Fluttershy's massive wings of speed, not even Pinkie, but then Fluttershy remembered that Rainbow Dash was in the aitr and that she could definitely get her to bet her body in a race.
Rainbow Dash was speedster speeding all throughout the air and whatnot it was terrible and wionderful and orgasmic built inot one package, like a really nice car wash, except without all od f that terrible wax, because really, who actually likes wax? Fluttershy knew just how to stop the speding way too past cool pblue pegasas pony. All she had to do was stitch a small figurine of one of the wondebolts. She chose Soarin, because she wthinks his mane is naice and plush like a bear on a summer after a long camping experience that said bear would never forget, and now the bear is hanging above a fireplace mantel. Soarin's mane is just nice like that. Fluttershy displacyed the sleek plush for all to see, and Rainbow Dashg could not resist the wonderful plump plusgh delight. She leapt right out of where she was (which was oprobably saving some young filly from iminemnt danger or some other cool thing like that) and she grabbed the plsush screaming "Wow Fluttershy, how did you know out of all the wonderbolts, Sorin is my favourite, because he has a sleeee~k mane. Oh so sleek. " Fluttershy responded "Well I guess you could just call I t a friend's tutition !" They both laughed gleefully, but little did Rainbow Dash know Fluttershy had something far more nefarious planned than anypony could have possibly been waware. Fluttershy led Dash to her house shed and told her to wait on one of her shitty log excuses for a chair. Dash obliged torying to stir tehe buzz of news with anfgrl and some of the birds. None o f Fluttershy's animals seemed to care for talking, she must have smelt funny, ior omaybe her hair looked stupid. Rainbow Dash would forver remember how those dreadful animals stared her down and mqade her feel more uncomfortable than a wavy ship and an awkward storm of hail and leeks. She fdelt real awkward, I meanm REALLY REALLY FUCKING AWKWARD. She started to nervously swaeat and then Angwel began to touch one of her hooves and that's where Rainbow Dash just COMPLETELY lost it! DShe flipped the fuck out oppennging her wings wto their full extent and dadh dash a dashing right smack into Fluttershy's hidden celler. Fluttershy was now pissed beyond belief that Rainbow Dash would discover her secret. But really, this was perfect, because now she could finally unveil her master plan. Her plan to mak e Rainbow Dash as an elaborate headdress . Once Rainbow Dash understood she would have her body and life sacrificed for a very choice piece of fashion, she wasn;t so angry about being killed. In fact, rRainbow embraced her new found calling as a headdress with open arms! It was a horrible mess, however, involving many hours of gory gutting and skinning and tanning, but eventually Fluttershy had finished the jhob and her new fashion statement was rweady for all of Equestria to behold. She marched right into rarity's boutique shouting "BEHOLD, FOR I HAVE BESTED YOU IN THE GAME OF FASHICUFFSs!" Rarity was absolutely head to the ground ready to raun atround the room and faint likea diseased animal impressed with this and dubbed Ra Fluttershy as her new fashion councilor , but FRluttershy could not eaccept this position , for she had way too many important clients to oimpress. Rarity was insulted and had to commit seppuku. Sweetie Bell had to pick of the pieces anmd decided that she would contract Pinkie Pie, the best lawyer in all of Equestria to solve ofall of the legal work, but then she also remembered that Pinkie Pie is just a partying bum and was nothng even reminiscent of a lwyer, let a long a chocken typanium lampo. Sweetie Bell cried and she also commtted seppuku and no one ate dinner that night.
It was one thing was for certain now: Fluttershy shy was on a murdering rampage and she had to be stopped. The only pony with the power to do it was Twilight Sparkler. Tilight already back from the cricus was told by a dead spike tha t Fluttershy was killing everypony and sthat she had to cut off Fluttershy's head and drink her murderer's blood to become the ULTIMATE PONY AND SAVE EVERYPONY. Twilight was ambitious and determined, she fgathered up pinkie Pie , Apple Jack, Rarity's corpse, and a collection of Raionbow Dahsh's organs. Pinkie Pie was better able to explain the situation because she saw spike being beaten by a lead pipe and sjhe knew this shit was serious business. Pinkie Got out her explosive cupcakes, Twilight prepared some intensive necromancy spells and also some kind of bhone melting other bad spell. Applej Jack was very useful, because she brought all of the supplies and she even packed apples for everypony to eat. It was great , but still, nopony ate dinner that night.
Twilight with her friends began to confront the heinous Pegasus Fluttershy when just then, out of NOWHERE Princess Luna and Scootaloo jumped out of the particularily lush bushes off to the side. This pleases Fluttershy so much that she even raised the dungeon doors, because Fluttershy has a dungeon because Fluttershy is really evil and all the evils ohave really elaborate great dungeons and dungeons have doors, dso yeah. This surprised Luna so much that she was literally actually turned inside out and began to implode into hersuelfd and Scootlaoo was scared so she bought a decided to head for the hills. But this did not work because she wasn't pinkie Pie, so Scootaloo aended up being turned intoa fine pair of shoes for Fluttershy.
TAwilight was really jealous of Fluttershy's fashion and thrusted Rarity's corpse at her. This swas not effectaibve at all. In fact, it aonly made Fluttersht y more powerful I mean fashionable and powerful, because fashion is like a form of power source , kind of like hair in animes, but this isn't an anime. Pretty cool, huh? So then just when Fluttersh y wa s about to kill Pinkie, Twilight, and Apple Jack Sonic the Hedgehog appeared on the scrren. He told Fluttershy "That's no good!" Fluttershy felt terrible about her crims and turned herself into the ponty police, but the pony police were already dead, brecayuse the pony plague was sweeping through Ponyville and now everypony only had a matter of weeks or days or worse left to livel. Due to this, Fluttershy decided she had to hurry up and shimmy to finding her true calling. Fluttershy decided tit was time she became a world champion haberdasher. She did that and then everypony died of the pony pklague, because it was really, REALLY bad.