The Fear You Won't Fall
Author's Notes: Okay, so this is my first attempt at a fanfiction in a long time, so please be gentle! Watching the recent interaction between Addison and Alex inspired me and I was just itching to write something about them! So I hope you like it. :) Comments and criticism are welcome.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters used in this fanfic.
Chapter 1
Alex Karev was a self-proclaimed womanizer, or as some liked to call him, an arrogant, commitment-o-phobic, womanizing bastard, although he preferred the former. Looking back, he couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when he was honoured with this title. Perhaps it was back in 9th grade when his first girlfriend, Stacey Miller, asked him to "go steady". Sure she was pretty, and funny, and had the most amazing laugh, but the idea of being tied down like that scared the hell out of him, being a teenage boy and all. His mom, however, begs to differ. She claims it was back in preschool when he apparently had a "posse of diapered three-year-old girls" follow him wherever he went.
Whatever the case, Alex Karev had never been with a girl for more than one month before breaking it off, or screwing up their relationship in one way or another. Not to mention, he was proud to admit that he had never become emotionally attached to a woman. He stayed at a healthy distance throughout the relationship so that, come time to break it off, he could do it carefree. That way, he would never be one of those pathetic, lovesick men, following around their women like dogs. Until now, that is.
- - - - -
Alex's eyes flickered open as he saw the bright rays of sun pouring through his window, a rare occurrence in rainy Seattle. He groaned and immediately dismissed the idea of waking up, turning over in his bed to catch a few more hours of sleep.
Beside him, he heard the sheets rustle. His eyes popped open, only to face a smiling blond.
"Morning," she drawled lazily, stretching out her arms.
"Uh, yeah, morning to you too," he replied, last night coming back to him. He had been sitting at the counter at Joe's, nursing a beer, when this woman slinked up to him, took a sip of his beer, and then when he protested, she said, "Well, I wouldn't have to take a sip a' yours if I had my own now, would I?" And so, after buying her a drink, they spent the rest of the night immersed in conversation, and then ended up at his apartment, as per usual with the women he meets at Joe's.
Alex rolled over to check the time, praying to whatever Gods existed that he had not slept in. 7:56. Shit, he thought to himself. He had to be at work in four minutes. He threw aside the covers and jumped out of bed. That was when he noticed a trail of clothing leading all the way down the hall. He picked up the lacy camisole on the floor in front of him and tossed it at the girl.
"Listen, uh," he started, "sorry to cut this short, but I'm late for work. I'm going to jump in the shower, so you can just slip out while I'm in there."
The girl's smile slipped away and was replaced by an expression of recognition: recognition that Alex was no different than ninety percent of the male population. He was just in it for some quick fun and nothing more. He was used to that look by now, after having received it from nearly every one-night stand.
"So should I expect to hear from you, or…" the girl trailed off, a hint of attitude in her voice.
"Don't count on it," he called back, shutting the bathroom door.
- - - - -
Alex glanced at his watch as he rushed into the locker room. 8:23. Not bad, he thought to himself. Though he knew he shouldn't expect a warm greeting from Bailey this morning. She was already up his ass about, well, everything. She seemed to always have something against him.
Coming out of the locker room, he slammed right into Addison.
"Oomph!" he exclaimed, as they collided, knocking her glasses askew. "I'm so sorry, Addison … uh, Dr. Montgomery … ma'am," he finished meekly. If truth be told, he was a little bit intimidated by Dr. Montgomery. She held the position of authority and she liked to remind him of that fact. Not that he didn't respect her – she was extremely talented and, unlike other attendings with silvery hair and a constant need for cappuccinos, she treated him like he deserved to be there. He picked up her glasses off the floor and brushed them off on his scrubs before passing them back.
She folded up her glasses and placed them in her coat pocket. "That's fine, Alex," she said with a small smile, "What is not fine, however, is your tardiness. You're assigned to me for the day and I needed you here half and hour ago."
"Yes, sorry, Dr. Montgomery, I can explain."
"What? Your car broke down? Your roommate played a joke on you and reset your alarm clock? Your dog ate your homework?" she said with a smirk, shuffling through papers.
"Something like that," he mumbled, not caring to go into details. "So uh, what am I doing today?"
"Well, seeing as we're now behind for the day, I'll need you to get caught up on some labs," she said as she passed him a stack of binders, "and if you're finished by, oh, two, or so, you can scrub in on a surgery."
"Two?" he asked, his eyebrows raised, "I can get these done before lunch, no problem."
"Oh, those you should be able to get done by eleven at the latest," Addison retorted as she walked away. "There's another cart behind the nurses station," she called back over her shoulder.
Alex let out a groan, but he knew very well he'd rather be doing this than spending half the morning at the coffee cart, trying to fetch Mark Sloan the right type of cappuccino.
- - - - -
Addison stripped off her gloves and headed to the sink after another successful surgery. A young woman eight and a half months pregnant had come in this morning from a serious car accident with a shard of metal piercing her uterus. By some miracle, the baby was unharmed, although slightly premature.
It's too bad, she thought to herself. Karev would have killed to get in on this surgery. She wondered how he was doing with the labs and hoped she hadn't been too harsh on him. Despite his flaws, she thought he had talent. He was just a bit rough around the edges.
After her hands were thoroughly washed, she headed outside to grab a chai tea latte from the coffee cart during her spare fifteen minutes. She's recently tried one on a whim from Starbucks and was addicted.
On her way outside, she passed a certain attending charming the nurses with his good looks and wit. She rolled her eyes and continued on her way, hoping he didn't notice her pass.
"Hey, Addie, wait up!" he called, abandoning four swooning nurses.
She cringed and stopped in her tracks. "What is it, Mark?"
"I was hoping we could talk," he said.
"Okay, so talk."
"Not here," he replied, "I was hoping maybe we could talk over some coffee. Or dinner, perhaps?"
"Mark," she sighed, "I think I know where this is going, and the answer is no."
He pulled her into a corner to avoid attention. "Why not, Addie? We were good together! We had a real connection and you know it. Stop trying to deny what you know is right!"
"Had, Mark, we had a good connection," she stressed, "But now? Things are just too complicated. We've been through too much."
"We can get through them together," he said, trying to take her hands, but stepped back when she batted him away. "Why else would you call me out here except for the reason that you want me back?"
"It was a stupid, spontaneous call, Mark," she retorted, "I was lonely, and upset, and half drunk."
"And I've spent the last sixth months waiting patiently for you to realize that your husband does not want you back. And now that that reality has finally set in, why not come back with me? We could go back to New York together, start a family. Think about it, Addison."
"No, Mark, there isn't even a remote possibility of that happening! I don't want to be with you and I definitely don't want to start a family with you, if you didn't get that hint already from…from what happened," she trailed off weakly, cringing at the memory she brought up. "So let go of whatever hope you're holding onto, because it is never going to happen."
Addison turned on her heal and walked away, forgetting where she was originally headed and not particularly caring. She just wanted to find an empty room because she could already feel the tears prickling behind her eyes.
- - - - -
New chapter coming soon!