Its hard to argue with him when he is so damn quiet.
No neighbors to wonder what the screaming was about, no sore throats afterwards. But somehow the silence was even worse than yelling.
Your name is Rufioh Nitram and you just fucked up. Big time.
Your boyfriend is standing in the kitchen, arms crossed over his chest and eyebrows furrowed as tightly as they could go. His breathing is the only thing that's louder than your own, and his eyes just scream murder. You shiver a little at that.
You feel your hand get clammy and stick to the transparent sheet of plastic that holds those nice dyed-up purple roses you had bought for him, which had been a lame attempt to get on his good side right after you realized what you had done. You had to give it a shot after all.
You leave them on the kitchen counter carefully before taking a deep breath, getting ready to speak.
"Hey, doll, look... I'm really, really sorry." He flips you off before you could even finish the sentence, and he starts to sign something with a sneer now present on his face. You try to understand what he is trying to say, you really do, but the speed with which he is doing it is just too much for your limited knowledge of sign language. You think that maybe that had been his exact intention; curse at you as much as he pleased, even if you weren't able to understand any of it. "I... don't..." You begin to say anyways, hoping that maybe his hands would slow down and he would give you enough time to process the familiar signs. But he keeps on going, and keeps on going, and you think that if he could talk, his mouth would probably be like an open faucet of endless words, each of them more poisonous than the last. It would be hard to understand all the string of words anyways, probably.
You shake your head as you look away, trying to think of what to say or do, not caring to see his hands go about since you knew you had no chance of comprehending shit. You rub the back of your neck instead, feeling so much regret that you wish you could go back in time to slap yourself across the face before changing the future.
You hated arguments, and it didn't matter if it was with him, with your parents or your friends, you just couldn't stand them. It was majorly foolish of you to be so careless, inevitably driving yourself right into the worst argument possible. Just how can you be so forgetful? So unbelievably idiotic?
And to think all this mess had been caused by your action just the night before.
You had decided it was a good idea to go out yesterday night and party at a club with your friend Damara. She had helped you get drunk and have a swell time, and you crashed at her place instead of going back to Kurloz's at the end of the long night. Today you had spent it in her company, and had gone to meet up with a couple of friends you hadn't seen in a while just to kill time.
The day became night and she had the brilliant idea to go to yet another club, but a devious look and a naughty smile gave you the signal that she had a much less conventional club in mind.
She dragged you to a gay club, and you spent the whole early hours of night sitting next to her, trying to forget you had a boyfriend at the same time that you tried to remind yourself that you had a boyfriend, just looking at really, really hot guys stripping and dance to the rhythm of very sexy, suggestive music.
You had thought you would definitely do that again with her. You had thought you would definitely not say a word to kurloz about it.
And it had been in that place, right at the moment in which a particularly hot guy was almost shoving his ass onto your lap that you remembered something vital.
Yesterday had been your anniversary with Kurloz.
Your eyes widened in horror, but it didn't stop there. Today, the day after your anniversary, was Kurloz's birthday, which you always remembered thanks to that little detail. Of course, you remembered as long as you first recalled that the first one was a day that existed to begin with.
You had covered your face with both hands as you began to curse loudly, the loud music muffling your distressed words, but Damara was able to sense your concern and immediately asked what was wrong.
You explained her the problem, the horrible mistake you just had made, and she began to laugh, almost pleased.
"I know." She had said close to your ear so that you could hear it, her heavy Japanese accent not being able to cover the pleasure she felt by just saying those words.
"...What?" You had said, your eyes revealing your confusion.
"I know! He told me." She continued, and leaned away from you to shove a dollar in a male stripper's thong. Your face gave out your obvious confusion. She took out her cellphone then, and touched the screen for a few seconds before showing it to you.
Your mouth almost hanged open when you saw a picture of yourself sitting in the very same chair you were at in that moment, one of the stripper's mouth almost against your ear as he touched your chest.
Oh no.
She wouldn't dare.
"Now we even!" She had said then, and went through her phone for a few more seconds before nodding to herself and forming an "O" with her mouth. "Also this one." She showed you another hazy picture of you making out with a random guy whom you had never seen in your entire life. He wasn't even hot. Not that you could see his entire face with your own in the way, though. You realized that must have been the night before. You couldn't remember a thing about that. You hoped you didn't fuck the dude after the nice photo had been taken too.
You swallowed thickly and met her eyes, seeing her perfect dimples stand out more than any time she ever smiled. They almost always appeared more prominent when the reason why she was smiling was because something bad was about to happen to someone else. Someone that deserved hell.
"What... wait, what did you do?!" You blurted out, but you damn well knew what she had done. Oh yes, she would dare. You knew it after seeing the first photo she showed you.
She began to giggle adorably, and put her phone away.
"We even." She shrugged, and took a sip of her tequila. "Good thing he is mute, not blind!"
"Oh God..." You had covered your face with your hands, feeling sick. You lowered your hands and took a deep breath before standing up. "Thank you!" You said sarcastically before you began to walk towards the exit, hearing her manic laughter even from the metal doors.
You had ran to your own house to get changed and try to look presentable, not wanting the smell of alcohol and smoke to betray you, even if you were already fucked.
You quickly began your short trip to Kurloz's apartment, stopping at a small flower shop to buy his favorite flowers, and took a moment to text Meulin and see if she could lend a hand.
It turned out that Kurloz had been faster, and she obviously took his side. She texted you an angry cat emoticon and a big "Fuck you!" in all caps to go with it. Perfect.
You decided to not waste any more time and went straight up to his apartment, suddenly feeling a wave of panic. Oh dear, did you hate this feeling of imminent doom. You had seen him angry a few times before, but it was always over petty things, and he soon calmed down and went back to normal. You had yet to make him truly angry. You thought you weren't exactly prepared to find out what that was gonna be like.
Which brings us to now.
You can see his cellphone lay on top of the counter, not that far away from the roses you had bought. You know he saw those pictures. Youknow he isn't only mad because you had forgotten both your anniversary and his birthday. You know he doesn't quite care about birthdays all that much, but that didn't make a difference. Not when you are knee deep in this shit.
You look up at his face after you eyed the damn phone, and you can see his arms crossed over his chest again, his face still contorted into that terrifying grimace. You decided to give words another chance.
"I'm sorry I forgot... I'm shit, I know, but I'll make it up to you." That apology was obviously meant to ease the anniversary and birthday problem.
He seemed to think that you had only come to apologize about that, so he decided to make it easy for you by grabbing his phone, searching through it, and basically shoving it in your face. There it was. The picture of the first club. You figured that was the one that hurt him the most.
"Oh, um..." You say stupidly, sounding as if you were playing dumb. You can hear something that resembled a growl coming from his throat. You breath in deeply, your thoughts racing as you tried to come up with an excuse or a proper apology that could save you from this. "I... I was drunk. I wasn't thinking-" You stop talking as he throws the phone to the couch and lifts his hands, beginning to sign much slower than before.
"I will fucking kill you." You were able to read, and felt a new shiver go through your body. You knew he wouldn't actually kill you, but you did know he would try to do something worse.
You swallow thickly, and take yet another deep breath. You were so desperate for a sign from God that could tell you what to do.
"He was just a random guy!" You say, making it clear with your tone of voice that you felt disdain towards him. 'Worthless' was what you were trying to communicate. "I don't know him. It was a mistake, I drank too much, I can't even remember his face!" He was still for a moment, carefully watching you before he lifted his hands.
"Did you fuck the bitch?" Was his question, and you tried as hard as you could to not even think about that possibility. You would remember if that happened, right?
"No! God no..." He stares at you for endless seconds after you spoke, just trying to read you. "I would never..." You continue, and remembered you had actually done that very same thing to Damara. You knew he knew that, so you kept on going to make sure he wouldn't doubt you. "Not to you. Never to you."
He seemed to calm down a bit at your words, as if he believed you. Or wanted to believe.
"I love you too much." You finish saying, and he seemed to pick up his previous rage in a blink of an eye. You have no idea why.
The same strange, angry sound escapes his mouth, and he pulls at his own black hair before using his hands to push you back with a dangerous glare that soon became glossy. The humidity in his eyes betrayed the soon to come tears, and you felt a knot in your throat as he began to cry, the salty liquid basically pouring out of his deep blue eyes, the only sounds escaping from him being his now strangled breathing.
"Shit, Kurloz..." He shakes his head frantically before turning his back to you, and starts to walk towards the door with long steps before opening it, getting out of the apartment, and closing it with a slam.
You close your eyes and start to curse at yourself. You have no idea if you can get out of this mess. You have no idea if he will ever forgive you, and you feel sudden pain at the idea of losing him. You really do love him. A lot.
You open your eyes and lift your head as you hear the front door opening again, and you see Kurloz stand by the door.
"Get the fuck out." He signs, and you feel like you could have laughed at how funny that had just been. This was his apartment after all, it was only logical you'd be the one being kicked out. But you don't laugh, you don't dare move a muscle that would give him the impression that you find any of this amusing. So you quietly make your way to the door, feeling his hands push you again as if to help you get out as fast and possible, and slammed the door once again at your back.
This was going to be hell.