***
STAR WARS SURVIVOR
***
Boring Disclaimer that I have to Put Here so I Won't Get in Trouble: Okay, so here goes. I don't own Star Wars, CBS, Survivor, Mark Burnett, Annie Robinson, or any of the characters that are here, except maybe Jeft Proast and a few other guys. They all belong to their respective owners (duh), blah, blah, blah.
***
Author's Note: I am a Star Wars fan (duh again), and a Survivor fan, and an author with no hope of getting into the New York Times bestseller list. (I don't own THAT either.) I wasn't very good at humor lists, and I love writing regular fiction, and I do want to become a humorist, like Dave Barry (This guy is cool! I don't own him too), so what did I come up with? I crazy story called Star Wars Survivor. And just in case you were wondering, I did NOT want Richard to win in the first, Tina rules in the second, and no, Ethan shouldn't have won in the third. Hope you enjoy this! **THIS IS AN UPDATED AND REWRITED VERSION OF THE ORIGINAL.**
*** (I use a lot of asterisks, don't I? And you'll be seeing TONS more of these babies.)
Ah, Survivor. The ultimate challenge. Hey! Get off my sack!
Hey Mom! What do you think… Star Wars Survivor?
*Still putting clothes in dryer.* That's great honey.
And I'll make a weird, short-tempered host!
That's great, honey.
This is perfect! Now I won't be humiliated like on those failed lists earlier!
That's great honey. Dinner's ready.
And yes, that is what this fic is all about. Sixteen Star Wars characters trapped on an island for maybe less than 20 chapters. Get set for my debut, Internet! Even Dave Barry would've been proud!
Characters: (Duh, What's a story without characters?!)
Luke Skywalker: the all-knowing Jedi Master
Mara Jade Skywalker: his loving wife who can really throw a punch
Darth Vader: a really odd father who can't play catch
Emperor Palpatine: who needs make-up?
Han Solo: ah, the famous smuggler who got married to a princess
Leia Solo: ah, the former Chief of State who had three kids who all got kidnapped periodically
Jaina Solo: the Jedi who became Rogue Squadron's best pilot
Jacen Solo: the Jedi who couldn't decide
Anakin Solo: the Jedi who got killed but he won't admit it
Obi-Wan Kenobi: mentor, friend and fellow ghost (hi, Yoda!)
Nom Anor: executor for the Yuuzhan Vong who's got tattoos all over
Chewbacca: Han Solo's first mate (and best friend, mind you)
Boba Fett: a bounty hunter (what did you expect?)
Borsk Fey'lya: a politician who likes the Jedi only when he can use it for the people's support
Gavin Darklighter: Rogue Squadron's leader, who's more than your average tempered guy
Jabba the Hutt: he's a Hutt, he's a Hutt, he's big and slimey he's our man, if he can't do it, everyone else can
And of course, a game show's not a game show's without the host: guess who? It's Jeft Proast!
Jeft Proast: a guy who really looks like Jeff Probst but has a really short temper and wants a new manager
So there you go. Got it? Hope you did, because er… AHHHH! BRAINFREEZE!!!
*stops for a moment then continues drinking her Slurpee from 7-11.*
So, why don't you go over to the next chapter while I go over to Wal-Mart to get a new Rams jersey? Okey-dokey? Super. Peace out! Er… that was sucky. Uh, let me try again. GO TO THE NEXT CHAPTER NOW. NOW!!!!!
Hey, you're supposed to be reading the next chapter!!!!
STAR WARS SURVIVOR
***
Boring Disclaimer that I have to Put Here so I Won't Get in Trouble: Okay, so here goes. I don't own Star Wars, CBS, Survivor, Mark Burnett, Annie Robinson, or any of the characters that are here, except maybe Jeft Proast and a few other guys. They all belong to their respective owners (duh), blah, blah, blah.
***
Author's Note: I am a Star Wars fan (duh again), and a Survivor fan, and an author with no hope of getting into the New York Times bestseller list. (I don't own THAT either.) I wasn't very good at humor lists, and I love writing regular fiction, and I do want to become a humorist, like Dave Barry (This guy is cool! I don't own him too), so what did I come up with? I crazy story called Star Wars Survivor. And just in case you were wondering, I did NOT want Richard to win in the first, Tina rules in the second, and no, Ethan shouldn't have won in the third. Hope you enjoy this! **THIS IS AN UPDATED AND REWRITED VERSION OF THE ORIGINAL.**
*** (I use a lot of asterisks, don't I? And you'll be seeing TONS more of these babies.)
Ah, Survivor. The ultimate challenge. Hey! Get off my sack!
Hey Mom! What do you think… Star Wars Survivor?
*Still putting clothes in dryer.* That's great honey.
And I'll make a weird, short-tempered host!
That's great, honey.
This is perfect! Now I won't be humiliated like on those failed lists earlier!
That's great honey. Dinner's ready.
And yes, that is what this fic is all about. Sixteen Star Wars characters trapped on an island for maybe less than 20 chapters. Get set for my debut, Internet! Even Dave Barry would've been proud!
Characters: (Duh, What's a story without characters?!)
Luke Skywalker: the all-knowing Jedi Master
Mara Jade Skywalker: his loving wife who can really throw a punch
Darth Vader: a really odd father who can't play catch
Emperor Palpatine: who needs make-up?
Han Solo: ah, the famous smuggler who got married to a princess
Leia Solo: ah, the former Chief of State who had three kids who all got kidnapped periodically
Jaina Solo: the Jedi who became Rogue Squadron's best pilot
Jacen Solo: the Jedi who couldn't decide
Anakin Solo: the Jedi who got killed but he won't admit it
Obi-Wan Kenobi: mentor, friend and fellow ghost (hi, Yoda!)
Nom Anor: executor for the Yuuzhan Vong who's got tattoos all over
Chewbacca: Han Solo's first mate (and best friend, mind you)
Boba Fett: a bounty hunter (what did you expect?)
Borsk Fey'lya: a politician who likes the Jedi only when he can use it for the people's support
Gavin Darklighter: Rogue Squadron's leader, who's more than your average tempered guy
Jabba the Hutt: he's a Hutt, he's a Hutt, he's big and slimey he's our man, if he can't do it, everyone else can
And of course, a game show's not a game show's without the host: guess who? It's Jeft Proast!
Jeft Proast: a guy who really looks like Jeff Probst but has a really short temper and wants a new manager
So there you go. Got it? Hope you did, because er… AHHHH! BRAINFREEZE!!!
*stops for a moment then continues drinking her Slurpee from 7-11.*
So, why don't you go over to the next chapter while I go over to Wal-Mart to get a new Rams jersey? Okey-dokey? Super. Peace out! Er… that was sucky. Uh, let me try again. GO TO THE NEXT CHAPTER NOW. NOW!!!!!
Hey, you're supposed to be reading the next chapter!!!!