DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, its characters, its plot, etc.
Cause and Effect
"For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."
- Third Law of Motion, Sir Isaac Newton
If Al picks up a cat, he needs to put it somewhere dry.
If Al puts the cat inside his amour, the cat will be jostled around.
If the cat is jostled around, the cat will meow in protest.
If the cat meows, Edward might hear it.
If Edward hears the cat meowing, he might get suspicious.
If Edward gets suspicious, he will insist on checking Al's amour.
If Edward insists, Al will try to excuse himself.
If Al tries some phony excuses, Edward will not believe him.
If Edward is clearly not buying it, Al will run away.
If Al runs away, Ed will chase after him.
If Ed chases him, Al will run faster and forget to look where he's going.
If he forgets to watch for obstacles in his way, he will accidentally run into Fuery.
If Fuery gets run into by a giant suit of amour, he will fall over.
If Fuery falls over, the papers he was holding will fly everywhere.
If the papers fly everywhere, he will have to pick them up.
If he goes to pick them up, he will have to bend over.
If he bends over, he can't see Havoc coming.
If he can't see Havoc coming, he can't tell Havoc to stop making flirtatious glances at the new female recruit and look where he's going.
If he can't warn Havoc, Havoc will trip over Fuery.
If Havoc falls forward, he will land on the ground- hard.
If he crashes onto the ground, he will hurt his neck.
If he hurts his neck, Fuery will have to take him to the medical department.
If Fuery takes him to the medical department, no one will be there to tell the Colonel Havoc can't run errands.
If no tells Colonel, Mustang will figure it out- at about eight o'clock.
If Mustang knows Havoc isn't coming back, he will have to run the errands himself.
If Mustang goes to run the errands, he will have to go outside.
If he has to go outside, he will have to go past the gate.
If he goes past the gate, he will be in the way of a giant suit of amour that is currently rounding the corner.
If he is the way, Al will run into him.
If Al accidentally smashes into the Colonel, the both of them will be knocked over.
If the both of them are knocked over, they will be in Edward's way.
If they both lay at Edward's feet, Edward will not be able to brake that fast.
If his feet do not stop, Edward will fall over Al and onto the Colonel.
If Ed falls onto the Colonel, his height may make him kiss Mustang's chin.
If Ed kisses Mustang's chin, the both of them will go very red.
If they are so embarrassed and can only focus on each other, Al can use the opportunity to escape.
All in all, it sounded like a brilliant plan, and Al eagerly scooped up the wide-eyed kitten, ready to take it home.
END
For Taylor,
Because this didn't start out as a RoyxEd fic, but oh well.