Disclaimer: I do not own "Lord of the Rings", Zelda, and/or Star Wars people, places, objects, yadda yadda yadda…

A/N: This is my original story, "What are we doing here?!," completely rewritten. It is ALSO my rewritten version completely revised. I went through and corrected all the tense errors, spell errors, AND inserted the missing words. Because if you noticed in the OTHER version of this story, I sort of accidentally left out various words, sometimes whole sentences, leaving it up to you to fill those gaps.

Well, now you don't have that problem. I hope. Heh… ^_^U

So once again – ENJOY!

~ The Mangement.

~ * * * * ~

"How Did We Get Here?!"

~* Prologue *~

A long time ago, in a distant land not so far away, a person by the name of Link was walking through Hyrule Field. He just happened to be saying "Kibbles'N'Bits", over and over again, getting on the nerves of a particular yellow fairy.

"Do you THINK you could stop saying that, Link?" Navi was the name of this particular yellow fairy. No matter how annoying or stupid Link was, he still helped him out and followed him around.

Link paused in his repetitious phrase. Apparently, he was thinking very hard, judging by the confused dumb look on his face. "Uh…No?"

Navi's face went slack as Link started to say "Kibbles'N'Bits" over and over again. "Yes… I forgot. You're not exactly CAPABLE of thinking, now are you?"

"IS THAT A THREAT?!" Link's eyes were wide with fury. He pulled a two-by-four out of nowhere to protect himself against his friendly "foe", just in case things got messy.

"Here," the glowing ball of light pulled out a cookie and tried to hand it to Link. "Have a cookie."

Link gasped. "Is that….for… ME?" His eyes were now girlishly large, batting his lashes at his newfound friend.

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Really really?"

"Yes. Really."

"Really really really-"

"JUST SHUT UP AND TAKE THE FRIGGIN COOKIE!!" Navi then proceeded in throwing the cookie at Link's head, causing him to start crying like a baby.

Taking out the two-by-four again, Link tried to suppress his cries. "I'll make you pay for that… It wasn't very…" Link tried to find a word that would be right for the end of the sentence. "Nice."

Just as Link was about to hit Navi, a blinding light filled the Field.

"Oh my eyes!" Link exclaimed, sounding just like Marcia Brady from the "Brady Bunch". He covered his face to protect his eyes. He fell over, clutching his face, being over-dramatic. "OH! The pain! The PAIN!" Rolling on the ground, Link's cries became louder.

Navi kicked him in the stomach. Hard. When he stopped whining, Navi filled him in on what just happened.

"While you were on the floor, crying like an idiot," The fairy cleared his throat loudly, "NINE random persons fell out of the sky, and landed in a crumpled heap in front of us."

Link looked at the pile of random people in front of him. "And where did they come from, exactly?"

"The sky."

"Uh…HUH…"

One of the random people in the crumpled heap said "Ow."

"You don't really expect me to believe that these people," Link said, motioning to the Nine Random People in the Crumpled Heap©, "FELL out of the sky, and RANDOMLY FELL into a Crumpled Heap©, right in front of us, do you?"

Navi stared at Link for a minute. "Actually, I do."

"Oh." Link stared back at Navi, causing a long awkward silence. "Ok."

"Ok." Navi blinked.

"Kibbles'N'Bits. Kibbles'N'Bits. Kibbles'N'Bits…"

Suddenly, a NEW voice entered the conversation. "MUST you keep saying that? Its DREADFULLY annoying!"

Link spun around to see an Old Guy in a Grey Dress™ standing right behind him. "Who are YOU?!" His voice sounded whimsical, like a child who was seeing Santa Claus for the first time.

" *I*," the Old Guy in the Grey Dress™ started, "am Gandalf the Grey-t. I am a powerful wizard. Fear me."

"Really?"

"Yes. Really."

"Oh…OK… Do I HAVE to fear you?"

"Yes."

"Oh… Ok…" Link cowered behind Navi. "Is this good for fearing you, Old Guy in a Grey Dress™?"

"I am Gandalf the Grey-t." The wizard stated again. "And yes, that's fine." Gandalf smiled, pleased with himself to have somebody cowering fear in front of him.

"Hey GANDALF!" A small boy had succeeded in untangling himself from the pile of random people. "Are you trying to be menacing in front of strangers again?"

"Oh Frodo… You never let me have any fun…" Gandalf hung his head and kicked at the ground.

Link looked down at Frodo. "So he's NOT a terrifying, powerful, wizard, guy?"

"Well… he *is* powerful," the small boy said. "But he's not terrifying. He just thinks he is."

Gandalf picked his head up. "But I *AM* terrifying! Honest! ROAR! See?"

Everybody in the Field looked at Gandalf.

"What?" He looked at everyone looking at him. "Fine… -.- I'm not terrifying…"

"That's right," The Small Boy with the Hairy Feet added. "And why are you calling me a "Small Boy"?" Frodo yelled up at the sky, jabbing a finger at a person he couldn't see.

"BECAUSE I CAN!" A thunderous, female voice answered.

Navi flew down to Frodo. "I wouldn't argue with the Authoress…"

"Why not?" Frodo asked.

"Uh…erm…"

There was a flash of light and a cloud of smoke. When the smoke cleared, Frodo was doing a fast-paced chicken dance.

"What's going on?!" His eyes were wide with freight, as he frantically looked around. He chicken-danced over to his companions, who were now standing up. "HELP ME!"

"Master! What is happened to you?!" It was Frodo's faithful manservant Samwise Gamgee. "You are dancing funnier than you usually do! Even funnier than at your Uncle Bilbo's one hundred and eleventh birthday party!" He was running around him, trying to make the odd looking dance stop.

"I'm AWARE of that, Sam!" Frodo panted. "MAKE IT STOP!"

Navi floated down to Frodo again. "I told you so…," he said in a sing-song voice.

Frodo's face went slack. "You're not helping… -.-"

The fairy smiled. "I know. ^_^"

The Authoress' voice was now, not thunderous. Instead, she was giggling insanely.

"OKAY! CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT!" Frodo was wildly looking up at the sky. "JUST MAKE IT STOP!"

There was another flash of light and another cloud of smoke. When the smoke cleared once again, Frodo was standing straight, not doing the chicken dance.

Frodo sighed. "Thank-you…"

The Authoress just continued to giggle. Just then, a fourteen-year-old girl fell out of the sky and hit the ground with a thud. She wasn't giggling anymore. "Ow…"

Everybody just looked at her, staring, not moving. Then she got up and walked off.

Gandalf looked around. "HEY!"

"What?" Link also looked around, trying to find the reason for his sudden outburst. Sadly, he found none.

"Someone fell out of the sky!" He pointed upward.

One of the Hobbits looked around. "Really?!" He looked up at they sky, to where Gandalf had pointed.

"Pippin…" Frodo shook his head. "How many times must I tell you?"

Pippin looked at Frodo, confused. "Tell me what?"

"That Gandalf is slow and you MUST ignore him sometimes."

The younger Hobbit scratched his head. "Oh… yeah… I really have to work on that…"

"Yes you do…" Frodo put a hand on the confused person's shoulder. "But it's okay…"

Gandalf took this statement personally. "Hey! IS THAT A THREAT?!"

"No Gandalf. It was just a statement." Frodo handed him a cookie and patted him on the back.

"I'm not slow though…"

Frodo patted his back again. "Yes you are… It's okay…"

Gandalf took a bite out of his cookie. Only, he was eating it way too slow. So Frodo snatched the cookie and stuffed it down the wizard's throat. "EAT! FASTER!"

The magical person fell over, gagging. Frodo dusted his hands off on his pants and walked back to his friends.

Boromir was eyeing Navi. He walked up to him and waved frantically in his face. "HI!"

Navi stared at the Man of Gondor, Link started up his "Kibbles'N'Bits!" phrase again, and Aragorn joins Boromir in staring at the fairy.

While Aragorn was staring, a single thought passed through his mind. But what he didn't know, was that that thought would stick to Navi forever. (A/N: You KNOW what's coming people. Yes that one three-word phrase… ^_^)

"IT'S A CHICKEN!" Aragorn's eyes grew super wide as he pointed at Navi.

Boromir waved in the fairy's face again, shouting "HI!" at the top of his lungs.

The Glowing Ball of Light and Wings stared at both of the Men. "Yes… Hi…" He slightly moved away. Then he looked at the Ranger. "And dud… I'm not a chicken…"

Frodo looked around Sam, who was trying to dust him off and see if he needed anything, and over to Navi. "Ignore them. We all do."

Navi nodded, and edged away from them both again. Link started running around in the background, still saying, "Kibbles'N'Bits!"

" Oh. Fairy Guy!" Frodo walked over to Navi, shoving both Aragorn and Boromir out of the way. "Where ARE we, exactly?"

The fairy's eyes went wide. "Don't you know?"

"No… That's why I asked…"

Link now started running in circles. He was still in the background, so nobody heeded him.

"Right now," Navi blinked. "You're in Hyrule Field…"

The Fellowship gasped. "REALLY?!"

Link hit a tree and was knocked unconscious. He fell to the ground, twitching.

"Yes. Really."

The Fellowship nodded. "Okay…"

"So…" Frodo bounced on the balls of his feet. "What do we do now? I mean, we still have the Ring of Power to destroy, and I for one, still don't know where we are."

Everybody fell silent, then they all turned to Navi in unison. Navi started to sweat. "Uh… why are you all looking at me that way?" His breath quickened as they started coming closer. "Hey… That's not funny… I'll scream 'cheese' if you come any closer! O_O"

The Fellowship jumped on top of Navi, making super sure that he couldn't go anywhere…

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A/N: Well. That takes care of that.

As always, if you review, you will get a little Post-It Note from me! YAY!

…

Okay… not much incentive for you to review. But how's about I throw in a cheeze pizza to top that deal?

I'm going to shut up now so you can review. And so I can fix my other chapters…

Thank you for reading!

~ Insane Person of the Darkness.