Worth
Summary: Sometimes we have to lose something just to know how much its worth. LuluShirley
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He did it.
Lelouch Lemperouge's done it – the thing he never imagined in his lifetime. He's done something only monster would have done.
He's erased the memory of an innocent and loving girl – he's erased Shirley's memory for his own being – for his goal's being. She was his friend.
"Do you love her?" C.C's statement continues to echo in his head – and this makes him guiltier. Guilty of having her memory erased for his own gain. Only his and goal's gain – not her gain at all.
Definitely not – sure, she wanted to forget all the things that happened after the burial of her beloved father but this is different – he knows that if she knew what he would have done to forget everything cruel that happened, she would disapprove of it.
After all, he was a big part of her life.
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He watches her back as she prays to the tombstone in front of her – her father's tombstone. The moment she finishes, she turns her back and sees a stranger – the man she's never seen before – again, a complete and utter stranger.
"Hello," she greets him; she notices that he looks sad. "Did you lose a family too? Are you here to visit a loved one?"
"Not a family but a friend," he answers as he drags his gaze on anything but her. He just can't bear to look at those innocent jade eyes – not after what he's done. "Someone who may have been very precious to me."
"Oh," she swears that she knows how he feels – she's lost someone who's very important to her too, after all. "I see."
"I just realized how important she is to me," he is trying to hide his emotions, masking them to control his sanity that he knows he's already losing, "now that I've lost her."
"Was she your girlfriend?" she asks, looking at his amethyst eyes; she can't see anything but sadness and suffering.
"Not really," he retorts. "But she's a very valuable person to me; her smile saved me."
"But you loved her, didn't you?" she can see it – this man probably loved this person a lot – not that she'll know anyway. "You must feel terrible."
"Right now…" he wonders how he'll be able to face her in the future. "I don't know anymore."
"Don't worry, morning still comes," she gives him that optimistic smile she always had. "I know I came here for some reason but funny enough, I don't remember what it was now – maybe because I've put everything behind me and you should too, not that I forgot all the sadness and cruel memories anyway."
That statement makes him remember how terrible of a friend he is. "Thank you so much for everything," he starts walking off.
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"So you've done it, huh?"
He sits on his bed and looks at C.C., "I didn't really have a choice – either that or I kill her."
"And the second choice is out of the question?" C.C. says blankly as takes a bite off her pizza. "What's the difference? You already killed a lot of people – including your brother. I don't see the difference does it make."
"She's a friend," he argues. "A precious one – and that makes a lot of difference."
"But you didn't spare the life of your brother," she says thoughtfully. "I thought blood was thicker than water."
"Not it my case."
"Should I ask you again?" C.C. stares at his eyes. "Do you love her?"
He sighs - bracing himself to answer the question with all honesty, "I probably did."
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A/N: Yes, I'm a big fan of this shipping and it does make me sad that this pairing isn't popular as C.C./Lelouch and Kallen/Lelouch. I have to be honest, I'm not expecting a lot of reviews because of same reason that this shipping isn't too popular but still, criticisms and reviews are loved.