What Really Happened at Zaude
by Baby Kat Snophlake
A/N: I found in the dusty archives of an old hard drive and thought it was funny. Enjoy!
"It's beautiful…" Estelle said, looking up and all around at the interior of a huge hall. Through windows they could see fish swimming past with the ocean currents.
"Yeah," Karol replied, "I can't believe we're inside a weapon." His footsteps echoed off the marble walls.
"Karol, wait."
"Huh?"
Yuri was focused on one spot, frowning at something hidden behind one of the pillars. "Get out here. You're too old for hide-and-seek."
Yeager stepped out of hiding, clapping. "Splendid! Such keen intuition, such sharpened instincts. Simply splendid!
"Yeager!" Karol stepped back.
"What is it this time? Are you gonna show us how to get to Alexei?!" Rita asked.
"Ja, oh ja. I will show you the way. To hell, that is!" Yeager unsheathed his weapon, which unfolded into a scythe. As he swung it, the handle extended.
"Just which way is the wind blowin' with this guy, anyway?" Raven asked.
"Have you forgotten, my pretties? We are still sworn enemies, you know. Things were destined to end this way between us."
Yuri grinned. "It's just like you said. We're enemies. So let's do what enemies do." Yuri swung his new sword to rid the blade of its sheath for the first time. He threw the sword up to catch it by the hilt so he could fight properly, only to be greeted by the familiar leather of the sheath. It hadn't been thrown off. "What the…?"
Yeager raised an eyebrow. "This battle won't be what I expected if you use that."
"Yeah, no kidding." Yuri replied. "Hang on." He never had to unsheathe another sword any other way, so it felt awkward to hold the hilt and manually slide the sheath off, but it held fast. It wouldn't budge. "Hey, Karol? I hate to ask you this, but can you take one end and pull?"
"Yeah. Umm… Why's it stuck? You've never had that happen before."
"I don't know. I thought the sword would come out easily like all the others, but…" Yuri held onto the hilt while Karol clung to the leather cover and each pulled in opposite directions as hard as they could… but to no avail.
"Here, why don't I help Yuri and Judith, can you help Karol?" Estelle wrapped her hands around Yuri's while Rita and Raven exchanged bewildered but amused glances. Judith shrugged and took hold of another part of the sheath to help Karol.
It wasn't long before Rita and Raven had to help too. Meanwhile Yeager stood watching with his arms folded across his chest. "You know… If you had purchased that from Leviathan's Claw, it wouldn't be so defective."
"Thanks, but no thanks…" Yuri grunted, sweat breaking down over his forehead. "I'll stick with not supporting my enemies."
"Then why not find one you can actually unsheathe and we'll commence our fight when you return? I do not wish to stand here waiting all day for you to draw your sword."
Yuri sighed. "You know what? Maybe I'll do that. Come on, guys, we'll come back later."
"Aww man, you mean we have to go through this whole dungeon again?!" Karol said.
"Well, the traps we deactivated won't reset so it should go faster. And maybe Alexei won't notice the Fiertia leaving and coming back." Rita replied.
"Yeah, we should have plenty of time. Let's go." And Yuri led the others back out of Zaude.
Yuri dropped his sword back onto the counter of the Fortune's Market, glaring at the shopkeep right in the eyes. "I've helped Kaufman, it's not like her to return the favor with a faulty sword that won't even come out of its sheath."
The shopkeep picked it up and looked it over. "Well, this is unusual… This isn't the sheath this sword is supposed to go into. How… did you manage that?"
"Huh? I don't know…"
"This is a generic sheath for the most basic of swords. Trying to stuff a fancier blade into it would usually result in tearing the sheath apart. How one earth you managed to keep the sheath in one piece is beyond me, but I'll be more than happy to get it out for you and give you the proper sheath."
"Great," Yuri said. "Do it."
The shopkeep nodded and took a knife to split the seams on the generic sheath. As soon as the sheath fell, the shopkeep was holding a red sword with a blade twice the width of the sheath and a curved pointed tip that should've poked out the other end. The shopkeep's eyes widened. "You stuffed a Flamberge into that?! H-how?!"
Yuri shrugged. "I don't know. I don't even remember doing it, but… that's some funky programming plot hole."
"Yeah, well… Now you can carry on with what you were doing."
"Yeah, thanks." Yuri picked up his sword and turned back to the others. "Okay, so let's go back to Zaude and take Yeager down!"