Please keep in mind that I do NOT own any of the characters in Kingdom Hearts! I own nothing except for Steven! As much as I'd like to, I do NOT own Kingdom Hearts! This is the first episode of my mini series. Enjoy! 3
The day started out typically. Xemnas sat in his office researching and writing reports on Hearts and such. Later, he soon decided to take a break and closed his notebook before standing and walking toward his door when something caught his eye. He quickly turned and reversed himself to look at the calendar and stared at the day's date where it was marked "HOME INSPECTION!" which was circled in red. Xemnas' eyes widened and ran down the hall like a raving lunatic.
"The time is upon us! Organization Members, round up!" he called throughout the hall.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Xemnas paced passed his followers at Crooked Ascension. He passed by each one who stood in rank.
"How foolish of me to let it slip my mind…" he started, stopping at Roxas and walking back down to number two, Xigbar. Axel, Organization XIII's number eight, looked at Demyx, the Organization's number nine. Saix, number seven and Xemnas' right hand, was the first to speak.
"What is it, Superior?" he demanded. Xemnas stopped and looked at his seventh follower. "The home inspector is to arrive here." At this, the members looked at each other in dismay. Xemnas went on as he walked back up the line of his followers. "All of you have one hour to get this place at its prime. One hour to clean this entire castle." At this news, several members groaned in complaint. Saix snarled at them to a hush. "All of it?" asked Demyx whiningly.
"Yes, number nine, all of it. One floor for one person should be enough." Xemnas headed to Nothing's Call. "I will leave you to it. I suggest you get started. One, hour," he said before disappearing.
"Alright," started the pyro, Axel. "We gotta clean everything, right? OK, we gotta give out shifts." Saix rolled his eyes at this. Axel paced around. "Alright, we have to start with the Brink of Despair," said Axel as he continued to pace. "Demyx," he said and Demyx nodded before disappearing to clean his assigned place. "OK, Nothing's Call."
"I'm not gonna do it…" murmured Xigbar to Xaldin. Axel, looking at him, smiled.
"Xigbar, thank you for volunteering!" exclaimed Axel as he walked to him. "You'll clean it." Xigbar folded his arms and snorted.
"As if!" he said. "Get someone else to do it, 'cause I'm not going to." He said firmly. Axel shoved the broom against him. "Oh yeah you are. Get to it." He said and Xigbar went off to do his assignment.
Once the assignments were given, each member sought out to do their chore. All but one… Roxas glared at Axel. He didn't get anything to clean. "And what about you, Axel?" the small member asked. "What are you gonna do?"
Axel grinned and started toward Twilight's View.
"I'll supervise," he said. Saix grabbed Axel's hood aggressively and pulled him back roughly.
"Like hell you will!" he snarled. Axel, standing there in Saix' grip, was unmoved by his aggressiveness toward him. "You're going to help out! And since you think you can weasel your way out of it, you clean the outside of the castle!" he snapped at the pyro. Axel sighed irritably. "Won't that be fun?" Saix grinned wickedly. Axel stared forward dully.
"Oodles…" Axel said apathetically. As the day went on, the members continued to clean as told. Demyx scrubbed down the Brink of Despair. Xigbar swept the floors of Nothing's Call. Dust flew into his mouth, making him cough, he hated this job. Xaldin mopped the floors of Crooked Ascension. Luxord cleaned the stairs of Twilight's View.
Zexion dusted the library. Toward the end one shelf he saw a brown leather book completely covered in dust. He went to it and pulled it out slowly, his eyes widening. The title of the book was completely obscured from the thick dust that covered it. Zexion opened the book and four moths flew out of it. He moved his hands and moved the book away from him, slightly startled by the moths.
Marluxia was to clean the windows. He floated and sprayed each window and wiped it after. At one window that Marluxia was about to wash, stood Xigbar who pressed his face against it, making ridiculous faces much to the Graceful Assassin's annoyance. Before spraying the window, thinking that Marluxia would just continue his work, Xigbar continued. Instead of just continuing, Marluxia suddenly opened the window and suddenly sprayed the household cleaning product right in the Freeshooter's face. Xigbar yelled and held his good eye before falling over, blinded, while Marluxia merely closed the window and continued his chore. Lexaeus, the fifth member of Organization XIII and one of the strongest, was to scrub down The Hall of Empty Melodies. Larxene was stuck in the kitchen and was to wash a tower of dishes.
Vexen hosed down Naught's Skyway, as the Creeper Nobodies played down it like a waterslide.
Saix cleaned out Proof of Existence. When it came time for Demyx's room, the first thing he noticed was that all was suspiciously clean… or was it? Saix walked to the closet and stared at it for a moment. Slowly and cautiously he reached for the doorknob and opened it. A typhoon of dirty laundry, garbage, and torn comic books fell out of the closet and onto the Luna Diviner, burying him completely. Several moments later, the now angry, Saix popped his head from the pile and on his face was a week old slice of pepperoni pizza. He yanked off the piece of food and yelled, "Demyx," he growled angrily.
Axel cleaned the castle's exterior. He scrubbed angrily on the outer wall of the castle and muttered frustratingly to himself. "Stupid Saix… Thinks he can go around ordering people just because he's the Superior's bitch! Ugh!" he scrubbed more roughly as his anger increased. His elbow knocked the bottle of soap off the castle and all the way down, and it landed on Demyx's head.
"OW-!" the Nocturne looked to his side to see what had fallen on his head. "Soap?" he demanded and looked up. "Huh, I needed this." He smiled, placed the bottle next to him and continued washing the walkway leading to the castle. Axel continued muttering angrily and reached for his bottle of soap. When he found that it wasn't there, he looked around and then at the edge of the castle at Demyx. "Great…" he spat in a very annoyed tone. "Demyx!" he yelled. "Demyx!" the Nocturne looked around at the sound. "Demyx, up here!" called Axel. Demyx looked up and waved happily.
"Hey, Axel!" he said. Axel sighed. "Demyx, I need my soap back!" Demyx looked to the bottle that landed on his head.
"You mean this?" he asked. "Yeah, pass it over," Axel replied. "Um…can I use it for a little bit?" asked Demyx looking back up at the member that came before him. "Demyx," Axel started. "No really, it's just for a little bit, I'll give it back, I promise!" he said. Axel rolled his eyes and sighed irritably. "Alright, fine. But hurry up!" Demyx nodded and continued his work. Minutes passed and Axel still waited. And waited, and waited, and waited until he finally looked back down at Demyx. "Are you done yet?!" he snapped.
"Almost!" he called back. "You said that ten minutes ago!" he shot back. "Don't worry, this is the last bit, I promise!" Demyx said. Axel growled and sat back and waited. When five more minutes passed by, Axel's patience disintegrated. "GIVE ME THE DAMN SOAP, DEMYX!" he yelled, looking down at him. "OK, I was done anyway." Demyx said calmly and tossed the bottle with effort so that Axel could get it. Axel grabbed it but it felt unusually light to him. He looked at the bottle to find that it was completely empty. He growled angrily. "Damn it, Demyx!" he sighed. "Hey, wait!" he said in realization, "Looks like I'm done." He grinned and tossed it, the bottle landed on Demyx' head again. "OW-!" he yelped.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The hour was up. All of the members stood in rank at Crooked Ascension. Xemnas arrived slightly impressed by the cleanliness of his castle.
"Well, this castle looks passable." He walked down the line. He looked toward the entrance to fine a man in a suit, sunglasses and a clipboard. Demyx looked in discomfort and whispered to Axel. "Oh, no," he said worriedly. "He has a clipboard!" Axel rolled his eyes, "Oh, scary…" he said with strong sarcasm and looked at the inspector.
"Xemnas, I'm Steven. Sir, if I may, just inspect the others." The inspector looked to the leader. Xemnas nodded once and the inspector looked at Xigbar and took off his glasses. Xigbar stared apathetically back at the man and blinked. The inspector stared at the Freeshooter's eye patch. "What's with the eye patch?" Xigbar was thrown back by the question while everyone else gapped. As the inspector moved to the next member, Xigbar made one of his snipers appear in his hand and aimed it. Xemnas grabbed his shoulder to stop him. Steven looked up and down at Xaldin and wrote on his clipboard. "Have you ever heard of a razor?" he asked and walked to Vexen. Everyone gapped again and Xaldin took a lancer and prepared himself to throw it. Again, Xemnas stopped him. He looked at Vexen and merely said before writing it down. "One eye is bigger than the other." Vexen's eyes widened and he glared darkly at the man who mocked him. The inspector moved to Lexaeus. He eyed the Silent Hero. "Mmph," was all he grunted before moving on to Zexion, writing on his clipboard. Zexion stared with his usual stare. "Well," he said and moved the hair that cloaked his face. "Issues have we?" he asked writing it down and moving on to the next strongest compare to Xemnas and his right hand, Saix.
He eyed the Luna Diviner. Saix merely stared back with his cold stare that showed the rage and savagery that he had to hide away. Steven looked at the X scar that he had on his face and just continued to stare. Saix, growing angry, knowing what exactly he was staring at, snarled something dark. The inspector, spooked, moved on to the Pyro-kinetic, Axel. Axel looked at the inspector apathetically. The inspector wrote on his clipboard.
"Hmph… you look like an over-spiked clown." He moved on to Demyx. Axel glared darkly and prepared to snap his fingers, while the other seven that came before him prepared to strike the inspector for his comments. He moved to Demyx. Demyx stood usually and blinked his eyes curiously. "Smile," he said and Demyx did as he was told. As usual… the inspector made a face and grunted before moving on to number ten. He nodded and moved on to the Graceful Assassin. Marluxia stared at the man. "Muscular for a woman," the inspector said. Marluxia glared while the others gapped and Axel snickered darkly. "That would be because I'm not." The Graceful Assassin replied sharply. The man looked strangely at him before moving to Larxene. Larxene looked at the man as if an insect. "Blonde, blue round eyes…You look like a giant roach." He said, writing his words down under her name. Larxene growled and glared, taking out her knives while he moved to Roxas. Roxas glared at the man and stood at his tallest. The man looked down at the boy and flashed an amused look.
"A little too young to be in a group of grown men, don't you think?" he asked the Key. Roxas glared more. "Yeah, so what?" he demanded. The man chuckled. "What's your name?" he asked. Roxas kept the same expression.
"Roxas," he said firmly. The man wrote on his clipboard and walked toward Twilight's View, looking around. Xemnas walked to Axel's side.
"Number eight," he began. "I want you to give him…the 'tour.'" The Seeker of Darkness commanded. Axel gave a Cheshire cat smile and bowed. "Oh, it'd be my pleasure, Superior." He walked to the inspector. "So, Steven, can I call you Steve?" Axel asked as he placed his hand on his shoulder. Steven looked at him awkwardly. "No," he replied. "So, Steve, how 'bout a grand tour of our lovely castle?" the redhead asked. "Uh, I'd rather not…"
Axel places an arm around Steven and grinned. "Hey, come on, all the better to get your inspection underway right?" "Well, I guess it would make for notes…" Steven said.
"Great, hey, I feel like we're friends already." Axel said in an over exaggerated friendly tone. "Well, shall we?" Axel stood grinning again, like a Cheshire cat. Steven nodded and followed. "This is the Grand Hall; it'll take you just about anywhere. But, the one I wouldn't recommend is the diagonal hall." Axel said as he walked into a hall with five halls. Steven looked down each one. "What's down the diagonal hall?" Steven asked. Axel placed a hand up, to silence him. "We prefer not to talk about it." Axel said chuckling. In Twilight's View, which came after the Grand Hall, Axel and Steven walked the steps, leading to the Hall of Empty Melodies. "Here we have what we call, 'Twilight's View." Axel stretched his arms out, showing the area. Steven took notes and observed closely. The two proceeded onward. "And this is the Hall of Empty Melodies… Shh-!" Axel stopped suddenly, leaving a confused inspector. "Hear that?" the redhead asked. Steven listened and heard nothing. He shook his head. "It's the melody of emptiness." Axel grinned and continued. "Moving on," he said. Passed the Hall of Empty Melodies, came Naught's Skyway. "Here we have, Naught's Skyway." Steven looked around and wrote down notes. They walked up the walkways leading to the second floor of the Hall of Empty Melodies. After that, they continued onto Proof of Existence. Axel looked at Steven and grinned as he led the inspector to the portals.
"And this is where we train and sleep." Axel pointed to the portals as Steven wrote into his clipboard. "Hmm," he sighed. The two continued into Ruin and Creation's Passage. Axel stopped and stretched his arms. "This is Ruin and Creation's Passage," The redhead said and continued toward the edge. Steven followed and froze at the edge. Axel continued and the floors appeared under his feet. "Don't worry, you won't fall." Axel chuckled and continued as the inspector followed carefully. Soon after, the two made it to the final area of the castle.
"This is the Alter of Naught." Axel pointed to giant heart-shaped moon. "Where you get lovely view of Kingdom Hearts," Steven stared in awe at the moon and wrote on his clipboard. Axel walked near the edge and stared. "Hey, Steve, from here, you get and even better view." Steven walked at stood at the edge.
"And so, concludes our tour, I hope you got as much fun out of it as I'm going to." Axel said with that same Cheshire cat smile. Steven shot a confused look before the redhead shoved him off the castles alter. Axel looked down and watched the inspector as he fell. "So sorry about that, don't forget to tell your friends about our castle. Don't call us…we'll call you, if you ever get back up that is." Axel turned and walked back down.
Demyx and Xigbar stood outside as they watched the inspector's free fall. Demyx was the first to speak.
"Hey, don't you think we should go help him?" the Nocturne asked. Xigbar shook his head. "Nah, besides, by the time we actually get to him, he's body parts will be all over the Brink of Despair." Demyx groaned whiningly. "AW! I just washed that!"
Please remember that I don't own Kingdom Hearts or it's characters! Please leave review and tell me what you think! Hope you got as many laughs as I did writing it. NO Flames! Please!