Sometimes you choose to ignore things- things that we really shouldn't be ignoring. We think that by doing this, we can some how have some order and normality in our lives; but we often forget that there is no such thing as a normal existence.
You should never ignore the impulses that your body sends to you. You should never ignore the way your body reacts to certain things. You should never ignore the feelings you harbor for particular people. Even if you know things can only get worse by reviling your feelings- you must make light of them. As keeping something like that bottled up- will destroy you.
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Dear Bryan,
I'm not quite sure I should be writing this, or even how I'm gonna go about writing it, but sometimes, something just has to be said, no matter the consequence.
You mean a lot to me- more in fact than you should do. But I've just never met anyone like you before. If often feels like we're two sides of the same coin. Totally different in some respects, but we have an understanding that only we share. The funny thing is, is that I could tell this the very first time that I laid eyes on you. I know I was only a kid back then, but there was something magnetic about you, and you have continued to draw me in closer with every passing day.
I know I'm not the nicest person in the world, or even the funnest person to be around- and for that I'm sorry. I sometimes get the feeling that you don't like me very much, but it changes nothing in my mind- even if it should.
If I told you that I loved you, would you believe me? I doubt it. So why should I be so hung up about telling you? And why is it so important for me to tell you anyway? Why do people feel the need to declare their love, when the act of doing so, changes nothing in the pairs affections or feelings? Sure, it makes each over know where they stand- must why must the one in love need to declare? I don't understand how one person is able to get under the skin of others so deeply. Why do people become so attached to each other? Why have I become so attached to you?
I don't expect you to understand- I fact- I'm certain you won't. So I'm running away. Your eyes look at me, and I can tell that they pass straight though me. You never reach out for my soul in your gaze, like how I do for you. Each glance I offer you- I take everything in. Your soul, your body, your passion, your spirit, you. You are the centre of all that torments me, but at the same time, you are the very air that I breathe.
I need to get away from all of this pain. I need to get over you.
Please don't follow me.
Tala.
Tala dropped the letter into the mail box, and sighed.
There's no going back now Tala.
He picked his backpack up off the pavement and swung it over his shoulder.
He had embraced his feelings for Bryan- but at what cost? He had to leave so many things behind because of it, including Bryan himself.
But he felt so much better for it. Before, it felt as if he was drowning in his own emotions- or more accurately- Bryan's cold shadow. He'd swum to the surface now. He could see the world in all it's glory again- and the hope of a new life waited for him in Russia.
Reincarnation.
There was a lake in Moscow, and he had some dull, long forgotten memory of it. Maybe his parents took him there. Maybe it was only a day out of the abbey. Who knew? But that was the only place he could truly remember being happy.
And he would like to see it once more before he died.
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Hey! I hope you liked it. More importantly- I hope you understand it! I think way to much for my own good (wanna do philosophy at university!). I'd be very grateful and trilled if you leave a review! Bye!
