The wounds in his chest ached. His whole body ached. The scent of his own blood was all he was able to smell anymore. He crashed down onto his bed. A few months ago the sting of this would have forced him to cry out. But now he was used to it.

And there was no way he was showing any weakness here. Not in front of Hawkeye Mihawk. He had to be a worthy contender for the title for the greatest swordsman alive. There was no way he could show any sign of weakness here.

Thunder and rain mixed with hail slammed onto the castle's ancient roof making a mighty sound. There had to be a storm at sea, which was only a mile or so away. He wanted to get up and look out the window or just fucking fall asleep.

But worse than the pain, worse than not being able to show any weakness, worse than Persona getting on his nerves giving him no time to be at peace was the ache in his heart.

"Luffy," He breathed squeezing his eyes shut. The faces of the crew flashed before him. Their smiles, their laughs. Their determination. How the hell was he going to do this for two years?! His thoughts swarmed forcing his heart to beat faster, keep his eyes open, and keep sleep away.

Were they alright? Luffy with his dead brother who he wasn't able to save. He would blame himself for it. Zoro knew it. And the others alone. There was also Robin how in the world would she manage? Would she resort to her old ways? Not trusting anyone? He'd stopped breathing.

He couldn't breathe.

She's smart she'll be fine! You know where she'll be in two years. Will she be the same Robin? Will two years alone change her? Has she found people she can trust? WHere did she land?

He wasn't breathing. He wasn't trying.

Usopp he's always been the weakest. What if he isn't able to handle being on his own? The Grandline is so dangerous.

His heart was beating so fast. His eyes were glassy. He wasn't breathing.

I should have been there for Luffy. For my captain. What the hell am I good for?! If I can't help my captain! Fucking useless here I'm stuck doing damned nothing letting everyone fight alo-

His glossed over eye's shut. The lack of oxygen had shut him down. In sleeping his breathing become automatic. Out of his control. He was limp finally his muscles relaxed since the moment he'd woken up. He slept dreamlessly. His mind didn't have enough strength to haunt him with nightmares.

...

Author's note (LONG BUT PLEASE READ)

Hello, all I would like to talk abit about this story. Firstly the first couple of chapters won't make sense sometimes because I wrote this when I was very tired during one of my first weeks of college. And I don't have enough heart to change it that much.

My first semester of college...no let me back up. Where I lived wasn't a good place. I grew up in a bad place. Going to a college two hours away from my parents was me escaping from the situation. And I was determined to free my mind from the disorders that plagued me.

To be free from my suicail thoughts, my depression, my eating disorder, all of my self-hate, and the horbile shrill voice of anxiety. And most of all to live.

I put up a poster of Robin screaming I want to live on my wall so I would see it every day.

I wrote this story late at night while having a panic attack.

This is my AU where Zoro develops a server anxiety disorder. The way that he heals will mimic how I am. But while I may not be faithful to all the events that happen, I will be faithful to character as I can.

I hope that by writing this and getting this down and sharing it-my anxiety will go away.

While I will do this either way-your support would a mean...a lot.

Please enjoy this story :)

Sorry parts of my writing are weird.

(BTW I'm incredibly dyslexic so let me know if my spellchecker fails me and I'll fix any errors)