Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. But I own the following characters: Rayne Cetauri, Max Kine, and Shira Cetauri. Please don't use them without my permission.
Setting: Right after Cycles of Battle.
Notes: Short fic. Possible tearjerker for Rayne/Max fans…since Rayne never had a proper funeral I decided to put this up before I finish the shocking end of Lost and Found. It's from Max's POV and then Duo's. So I hope you enjoy this small interjection that appears directly after Cycles of Battle! Oh, please read and review as well!
Last Words
Max
What is there to say? What could I convey about her that would serve her justice? What words could I use to describe how I really feel about the one person in my life that I ever truly loved?
What could I possibly say? I never saw her last battle, I never saw her die…and I never got to say goodbye.
She'll never know how much I miss her. And she'll never know how many times I wake up imagining that I hold her in my arms…it's hard to believe that just a little while ago she was so real, so warm…
I wrote down the words with emotion so great that I never knew I could feel that much. And it was so hard, because I knew that if I wrote them it would mean that she's truly gone.
Forever.
And I don't want that. I want her to come walking through that door any minute now… and I looked at the door, almost expecting it to happen. She's still so real in my mind that I don't believe she was ever gone.
When I received the call about her death it was from the most unlikely source: her sister, Shira. I thought that Shira hated her sister, that she felt as if she stood in Rayne's shadow… but I guess I was wrong. Shira loved Rayne almost as much as I did, I suppose. It's just easier for her to hide it.
It's so easy for some people to put on a mask…why can't I do it?
I finished the last statement on paper, folded it up, and put it in my pocket. My eyes wandered to a picture hanging on the wall. My father had taken that picture when I met Rayne, we were about five years old…
And now she was gone.
"Rayne, I miss you," I thought. It had been a year since her death, and no one held a funeral for her yet…tomorrow was the day. I had almost decided not to go, because then the hope I had that she was still alive would be shattered, and I wouldn't be able to put the pieces back together.
The phone rang, and I picked it up.
"Hello?" I asked, my voice strangled in my throat.
"Is this Max?" The voice sounded like Rayne's friend, Duo Maxwell.
"Yeah, who is this?"
"Duo. Remember me?" I was right.
"Hi Duo, what's up?"
"We're having the funeral tomorrow. Just a reminder."
"How could I forget?" I was a little bit mad that he would think so little of me…how could I not remember the date of my best friend's funeral?!
"Okay then. See you tomorrow." He sounded sullen…I guess he was just as upset as I was. I hung up the phone.
It must have been hard for Shira…tomorrow was her birthday. Imagine that. Celebrating your birthday at a funeral. Then I remembered, it was Rayne's birthday, too. That made it even worse.
I sighed. If I was going to go to the funeral, it would be best to get some sleep.
~*~
Duo
I was awake all night. No matter what I did, I couldn't get to sleep. It wasn't just because of the funeral, everything that had happened since she showed up…she had messed everything up since she appeared. She had changed things.
Second to Hilde, Rayne was one of the girls that I cared about most. And I didn't even know why…I couldn't like her. Not only was she dead, but it would be betraying Max, too. I noticed when she made her decision to go with me that the two of them were linked tightly.
He must've been talking her death really hard. I felt the same way when Hilde almost died on Libra…I think. It was hard for me to imagine just how much Max and Shira were going through…Max lost his best friend, and Shira had no one left except for Trowa now.
Funny, even Trowa was going to attend the funeral. He didn't even know who Rayne was, but he would go anyways. Probably for Shira, the same way that Hilde was going for me.
Why couldn't I stop think of her? Sure, she was my friend but…this was nuts! I closed my eyes and forced myself to blank my mind, but it didn't work very well…I knew I had a long night ahead of me.
~*~
Max
Black was the only appropriate color. My black suit matched my black hair and brown eyes just like it matched my mood. Nothing seemed cheerful; the sun wasn't even shining.
When I started walking the sky was gray, and when I finally got to the cemetery –which was a few blocks away- a fine drizzle had started. It was a perfect day to have forgotten an umbrella.
I was a little early. Everyone else seemed to be there early as well. I saw a lot of people that I didn't know. Many friends of my parents and Rayne's, some people that I presumed were Shira's friends or classmates, and friends of the Gundam pilots.
Shira walked towards me. Her eyes were a little red…I could tell that she had been crying a little.
"Hi," she said, her voice sounding weak. I just nodded, knowing that if I said anything I wouldn't be able to stop the tears from coming.
I noticed the person who stood behind Shira. He was tall, with brown hair that fell into his face and green eyes.
"Oh, I didn't even introduce you guys…Trowa, Max. Max, this is Trowa." He extended his hand and I shook it silently.
The ceremony began shortly after I arrived. There was no body to bury, so it was more like a memorial service than an actual funeral. Shira was the first person to speak.
"I…I guess that Rayne was, well, she was a good person. I know that. Unfortunately, I chose not to notice that about her. I chose to be like a spoiled kid…I felt that she always got everything that I didn't. And now I realize that I shouldn't have been so jealous…"
She was starting to cry. Her tears mixed with the light rain that was falling. Stopping a few times, she soon came to the end of her small speech.
"All of us came here to say goodbye to her…and I came to say that I'm sorry, because I didn't know what I had until it was gone." I stood up and pulled the paper out of my pocket where I had written my speech, and I repeated them almost like they had been written.
"What is there to say? What could I say about her that would seem appropriate? What words could I use to describe how I really feel about the one person in my life that I ever truly loved?
What can I possibly say? I never saw her last battle, I never saw her die…and I never got to say goodbye." I stopped and swallowed hard…it wouldn't be easy for me to keep myself from crying. Then I continued.
"She'll never know how much I miss her. And she'll never know how many times I wake up imagining that I'm holding her in my arms…it's hard to believe that just a little while ago she was so real, so warm…" My voice is wavering. It's getting harder with each word not to cry.
"Sometimes the hardest thing in the world is to say goodbye. But it's even harder when someone close to you is gone without warning. She's still so real to me…" I continued for a few minutes.
"I never want to say goodbye or farewell to her, because if I do then she'll truly be gone forever. I just want to say how much I miss and love her." I stepped down.
~*~
Duo
Great. It was my turn. I hadn't even prepared anything to say…
"I'm really bad at this stuff," I said. "I've always hated saying goodbyes…" I sighed and paused as I tried to think up something to say.
Max had said that he loved Rayne…it just hit me. He loved her. He really did. And I loved Hilde…didn't I? Things were getting so confusing…
"Rayne didn't have to die," I continued. "I thought she was a food for sacrificing her life for ours…then I realized that soldiers do it all the time. But for a fellow Gundam pilot to be dead…none of us has ever died. We've been put into almost hopeless situations many times, and we've miraculously survived every time."
It was true. Heero was the best example, it seemed like nothing could kill him. We all seemed pretty invincible, until Rayne died.
"Maybe there was some way she survived," I said. "I had hoped for it a lot. She did it once before. But in the coldness of space, I realized that it was almost impossible. The only thing we can do now is hold onto our memories of her." I bowed my head for a minute and took my seat.
~*~
Max
I'll never really say goodbye to Rayne…I feel that some part of her, at least, is still alive. I pray that if she survived, she'll find her way back to me, and her other friends.
The rain is getting heavier as the service continues. Finally, I can't stop it anymore; tears begin to slide down my cheeks. I don't think anyone notices though, the rain's really falling now.
The service ends and I get up with a sigh. It's the hardest thing for me to do to get up and walk away, but as I leave I mutter the three most meaningful words in the words to Rayne, even though she's gone.
"I love you."
And those are my last words to her.
The end
Well? Did you like it? It was kind of a Max/Rayne fluffy thing, but not really. *Sigh* I hope you enjoyed the fic. Don't be afraid to post a review or e-mail me at Starseeker__1@hotmail.com!