AN: I don't own Robots in Disguise 2015; it belongs to whoever created it. If I did… maybe there would have been a… something like this.
7th December, Denny's Scrapyard
"I must enquire, Mr Denny. What is that in that box you are carrying?"
"Oh, this. This is the Christmas decorations box Drift." Denny told him, before carrying the box over to the… was that a tree in the middle of the scrapyard?
"What is Chris-Mass and why do you need those decorations for it?" Drift asked, clearly not having a clue.
"Well… It's a Christian festival where people celebrate the birth of the baby Jesus. He was born in a manger in Bethlehem some two thousand years ago or at least, according to the Bible that's what happened." Denny explained; hoping this answered Drift's question.
"I do not understand why we need these decorations for that."
"It's… to make the scrapyard look more festive and pretty." Denny said, sounding like he was trying to make up a reason.
"You could make the scrapyard look more 'pretty' as you put it, by tiding up." Denny looked shocked, that really didn't need doing; he just got everything put back from when Fixit reorganised it!
"Jetstorm, Slipstream, help Denny tidy the scrapyard." Drift deployed both of his mini-cons.
"Why do we need to tidy the scrapyard, master?" Jetstorm asked, looking confused.
"Jetstorm, you should know by now not to question Master Drift's orders!" Slipstream told off the other mini-con.
"No, it is a valid question, Slipstream. Denny requires that the scrapyard looks 'pretty' for Chris-Mass." Drift explained, before beginning to walk off.
"What is Chris-Mass?" Slipstream asked.
"Ask Denny, he knows more about it than I." Drift told them, before continuing to walk off towards the command center, possibly to meditate.
"Master Denny, what is Chris-Mass?" Jetstorm asked.
"Yes, what is Chris-Mass and why does it involve us tidying up?" Slipstream asked a few seconds later. Denny then told both of them what he told Drift.
"Why do we need to clean up? Is Jesus' descendant coming to visit?" Slipstream asked.
"I don't think the Bible mentions Jesus having any children… And we don't need to tidy up, but you can help me put up these." Denny fished a hanging decoration from the box and handed it to Jetstorm.
"What do I do with...? Oh, it turned into a star. Do I put this in the sky?" He asked. Denny shook his head and put a step ladder down beside the diner's door.
"Climb up that and use this," Denny handed him some sticky tape,
"To stick the star up." Jetstorm clambered up the step ladder and held the star to the roof.
"It appears the thing you handed me to stick the star up has become stuck to me, Master Denny." Jetstorm wiggled his fingers, making the tape stuck to the end of one move.
"Hold it in… never mind. Climb down and I'll stick it up." Denny told him, and Jetstorm climbed down. It didn't take Denny long to have the star stuck up.
"The scrapyard does appear to look prettier now, Master Denny." Slipstream told him.
"We've only just started you two. But you can help me put the rest of them up." Jetstorm picked the box up and Slipstream collected the ladder. Denny pointed to where he wanted to put the next one and Jetstorm lifted something out the box.
"What about this, Master Denny?" Denny looked to see what the mini-con was holding. It was a long red and sparkly garland.
"Not that one, that's tinsel and that goes on the tree."
"In what you have told us, there is no mention of a tree. Why is there one up?" Slipstream asked while putting the ladder up.
"I don't know. Maybe because fir trees are the only trees with leaves in winter, so they symbolise that life goes on even in the harshest cold." Denny then had a thought about something else. He decided to ask Bumblebee about it later, when the decorating was finished; save the tree. He wanted Rusty to help with that.
A couple of hours later…
"Fixit, can we put some of this above the command center?" Denny asked, holding up a few garlands of tinsel.
"Why? Does it make it easier to ride… side… Hide?" Fixit asked. Denny explained Christmas to Fixit and then he remarked,
"Oh, so we need to put these things above the command center to celebrate the birth of baby Jesus?" Denny nodded.
"Alright, but no trying to go through my things!" Fixit moved out of the way, letting Denny, Jetstorm and Slipstream in to put the tinsel up.
"Is it December already, Denny?" Bumblebee asked. Denny jumped and wobbled on the ladder, not expecting Bumblebee to appear behind him.
"Yes, so I'm putting up the Christmas decorations. Do you know what that is?" He added half-heartedly; he'd explained it to most of them already.
"Yes, Raf told me about it." Denny let out a sigh of relief.
"In that case, you also know about the gifts thing. Can you take me into Crown City tomorrow? I need to buy some presents for Rusty." Denny told him.
"What do you need gifts for Russell for Mr Clay?" Strongarm asked, both she and Sideswipe had come back from patrol.
"I'd better tell you two about Christmas as well…"
"Oh, I need to hear about this too!" Grimlock stomped over; getting the feeling that something important was going to be told. Denny explained the same thing to them as he had to everyone else.
"What does a new baby have to do with presents?" Sideswipe asked, not understanding it at all.
"Or a tree, which I'm sure must be violating some regulation or another." Strongarm told Denny, shaking her head.
"Or all these glittery things." Grimlock asked, pointing to the tinsel above the command center.
"The decorations are to make the scrapyard look more pretty, Grim. The tree is a symbol of life continuing through the coldest weather, I think. And the presents are tied into the nativity story. The baby Jesus was visited by several people while he was in the stable with his parents. He was visited by shepherds and three wise men. Each of these wise men gave him a present. The first gave him gold, the second gave frankincense and the third gave myrrh." Denny told them. They seemed to understand better now.
"So, do you need to get some of these things for Russell?" Drift asked, from his spot beside the command center. He must have finished what he was doing.
"No, I need to get him what he asked for on this list." Denny held up a list and then put it away before the bots could see what it said.
"Russell should be home soon, and then we can all decorate the tree!" Denny sounded very excited.
"Is this supposed to go like this?" Grimlock asked, a bit of tinsel wound around his neck like a scarf.
"Yes, Grim. But not on you, on the tree." Denny told him. Grimlock shrugged and wrapped his 'scarf' around the tree.
"Dad I'm… when did you find time to put all the decorations up?" Russell asked, coming through the gate to the scrapyard.
"I had some help." Denny told him, gesturing to the two mini-cons stood near him.
"I put that on the tree!" Grimlock pointed to the lone garland of tinsel on the tree.
"Well, now that Russell is here, we can get started decorating the tree." Denny fished another length of tinsel out of the box and looped it around the tree too. The other Autobots seemed to get the idea when Russell lifted a ball shaped thing with glitter on it out of the box and hung it on one of the branches. About an hour or so later, the tree was almost completely decorated.
"And now to put this, on top of the tree." Denny paused to lift out the last item in the box, a human with wings.
"How does this relate to Chris-Mass, Master Denny?" Slipstream asked.
"Well, the shepherds that visited the baby Jesus were visited by a choir of angels, led by Gabriel. This choir told them of the messiah and to follow the largest, brightest star in the sky to find him." Denny explained to them.
"Is that what the winged human is? An angel, not a humanised Seeker?" Drift asked.
"Yeah, and we put this one on top of the tree. Although, some people use stars to top the tree instead." Russell told them.
"Who is going to put the angel on the tree?" Fixit asked. Russell whispered something to Denny; who seemed to agree with it.
"How about you, Fixit?" Denny asked him.
"Oh, but I can't peach… beach… Reach!" Fixit told them.
"I'm sure I can help with that." Grimlock transformed to robot mode and picked Fixit up in one of his hands. Fixit gently put the angel on top of the tree, like he was frightened he would break it, before Grimlock lowered him back down.
"Now, what do we need to do?" Sideswipe hoped there was more to it than this; he liked not having work to do.
"Now, we all need to get back to work. There's nothing much else to be doing." Bumblebee told them. Strongarm quickly headed for the gate; saying something about going on patrol. Sideswipe decided this meant he could go listen to his music, but Bumblebee pointing to the gate suggested otherwise. He reluctantly followed Strongarm out the gate.
"Right then, I've got homework to do, I'll leave you to get on with whatever you get on with, dad." Russell scuttled off towards his room. Denny shook his head, and headed off to his room as well; he wanted to check if there were any more people selling Billy the Breakfast Beavers…
XxX
24th December, Denny's Scrapyard
"Night Rusty, see you tomorrow morning. And go straight to bed, Santa won't give you presents if you're awake!" Denny told him, He was sure he heard an 'its Russell and night dad' in response.
"Who is Santa?" Fixit asked.
"A jolly man in red, who brings presents to the children of the world." Denny told him. He then walked off and found his wrapped up presents to put under the tree.
"Then why have you got presents in your arms?" Jetstorm asked, looking confusedly at Denny.
"Because… Santa already dropped these off here, last night." He told the mini-con.
"Oh, so he drops the presents off on different days and sometimes the parents have to put them under the tree for him." Slipstream reasoned. Denny nodded before heading outside towards the tree. After he'd put them under the tree, Bumblebee walked up to him.
"Are you expecting any presents, Denny?" Bumblebee asked.
"I'll probably just wait for the January sales and buy myself something then." Denny lamented before heading off to bed. Bumblebee was sure he heard something about Billy the Breakfast Beaver. Bumblebee waited until Denny was out of audio shot and then commed the others.
The next morning…
Russell woke up at about half past six and glanced outside. The tree had presents under it. Not many, maybe his dad had bought himself something and it hadn't arrived yet. He went off to his dad's room and woke his dad up. Both of them then headed outside and saw the few presents that Russell knew had to be his. They also saw the weirdest shaped present that they'd ever seen.
"Don't say anything, just open it." Bumblebee told them. Denny found a bit of paper stuck to it saying 'To Denny' and began to tear off the wrapping paper. When he saw what it was he shouted in delight.
"Billy the Breakfast Beaver! Where'd you find this one?" Denny looked overjoyed, his eyes like saucers.
"I know, it isn't the full set but…" Strongarm sounded disappointed.
"We found this one in the woods where we were chased by Underbite." Bumblebee told them.
"Apparently he didn't trash them all." Sideswipe shrugged.
"I helped carry it back." Grimlock told them, proudly.
"And we made sure that it was covered in paper so you wouldn't know what it was." Drift told them. Both of his mini-cons looked proud too.
"You guys… thank you!"
"I'm just happy that Underbite didn't come back to have this one for dessert!" Fixit told them, sniggering. The others couldn't help laughing.
XxX
24th December, the old steel mill
"Hey does one of yous wanna help here?" Thunderhoof asked the others. He had some sort of plant tangled around his antlers. The plant had unusual teardrop shaped leaves and white berries.
"What happened?" Steeljaw asked, wanting to know but not really caring.
"He got his antlers stuck in a tree with this plant wrapped around it. When he finally managed to get his antlers out, the plant had all wrapped around them." Underbite told the rest of the pack. They all sniggered, Clampdown more discreetly than the others; he still hadn't been forgiven for what happened on Cybertron.
"Hilarious, now how about one of yous help me get these things off!" Thunderhoof shouted at them, only making them laugh harder.
"Look, you got yourself into this mess; you get yourself out." Steeljaw told him, before padding off towards his room; he'd had enough of his subordinates for now.
"Airazor, Divebomb, help me take this stuff away when I get it off." Fracture deployed both of his mini-cons. They also began sniggering when the saw the mess that Thunderhoof had gotten himself into this time.
"Are yous done now? Can we get this stuff off me now?" Thunderhoof growled at the mini-cons; apparently sick of being laughed at.
"That's no way to speak to the ones that are going to help you." Fracture told him off, before starting to cut through the plant stems with his sword. It didn't take long for the plant to be lying in a pile by their feet. The mini-cons then realised their task and picked up the discarded bits of plant and carried them outside.
"Right, now that that's taken care of, I'm gonna go recharge." Thunderhoof told them, before skulking off along the corridor towards his room. It was at that point that the mini-cons came back from outside.
"I take it that this plant is just lying in a pile outside the door." Fracture said; even though he had his back to the door, he could still tell his mini-cons were there.
"Of course boss." Divebomb told him, smugly.
"Go and fetch me some."
"Sure, boss!" Airazor told him, before quickly scurrying out of the door. He came back in with a section of the plant.
"What's so important about this plant Fracture?" Underbite asked.
"It's mistletoe." He told them cryptically.
"What's that?" Clampdown asked, nervously wringing his claws in case it was toxic to Cybertronians or something…
"I looked some things up on this planet's data-net and found information about plants; if just to see if there are any Morph-o-Bots or similar here. It was during this search that I found this plant."
"What's special about it?" Clampdown now asked; still hoping it wasn't toxic.
"Apparently some humans put a sprig of this plant above a door, and any two who are under it together have to kiss." Everyone looked confusedly at Fracture when he mentioned that.
"You know, one bot puts their mouth plates against another bot's. That's kissing."
"Does anything bad supposedly happen if these two don't kiss?" Airazor sounded very interested now; apparently sensing his master's intent.
"Oh, that's the best part! If they don't kiss; they'll be cursed with romantic misfortune for a whole of this planet's stellar cycles!" Fracture grinned and his mini-cons wore the same devious look.
"We have to trick Steeljaw and Thunderhoof into both being under that at the same time!" Divebomb jumped up and down with glee.
"How? You can't just say 'hey stand there!' to them can you?" Clampdown shuddered.
"No, but we can get one of them in the door tomorrow morning and get them to look up and then the other one walks into them and… Well. I'm sure you can figure out the rest." Underbite told the others.
"They won't do it; there are no femmes on this world and they both strike me as the sort that likes femmes." Clampdown decided to put a downer on the plan.
"I'll think of something. Now, I'll get everyone out recharge early, unless you'd like to kiss one of them…" Fracture sniggered when he got a 'no thanks' from all of them.
"Right then… Underbite, give me a boost." Fracture told him. Underbite looked a little reluctant but knelt down so Fracture could climb on his back. Fracture scrambled up and Underbite carried him over to the door. The mistletoe was stuck above the door and Fracture slid down.
"Right, off to recharge; we'll let the other two spring the trap in the morning!" Fracture and the others carefully went through the door, so that none of them were under the door with anyone else and went off to their rooms to recharge.
The next morning…
There was one thing you could always count on in the steel mill; Fracture being the first one out of recharge. He sat up and then woke his mini-cons. They grumbled a little but were then told what they were being awakened for. They smirked in reaction, knowing the recipients wouldn't be pleased.
"Head to the main room. And unless you two want to kiss each other, don't walk in together." Fracture told them, sniggering at their grossed out reaction to his second comment. They both scuttled off towards the main room, leaving Fracture to follow behind them. He slowly followed, first bashing on Underbite's door.
"Are you awake?" He asked.
"Am now…" Underbite grumbled, stretching out on his bed.
"Be up in a moment." He told Fracture. This satisfied the bounty hunter, who went over to Clampdown's door next.
"Hey, you awake, Crabby?" Fracture sniggered when he got a grumble in response. He decided this meant Clampdown was awake and went off to the main room. Both Airazor and Divebomb were sat in the middle of the floor, Divebomb with his legs crossed and Airazor hunkered down; mimicking Divebomb as best he could.
"What are you two doing?" Fracture asked, and both of them stood up, acting like they weren't doing anything.
"Did you see Drift and his mini-cons doing that?" Fracture asked; apparently having caught on to what they were doing.
"I don't know how they do it…" Airazor complained.
"Yeah; it's uncomfortable!" Divebomb joined in.
"I'm not late… am I?" Underbite asked, from the doorway.
"You might want to move before Clampdown joins us." Divebomb told him, sniggering.
"Oh, but that would be funny too!" Airazor giggled, just imagining it was funny! Underbite quickly walked over to where the mini-cons and their master were.
"Oh… I don't like being up this early… it reminds me too much of running from the law and the mob…" Clampdown grumbled.
"Right, now I shall go and get the stars of the show!" Fracture told the others, with a dramatic wave of his hand. The others laughed; this was going to be good! Fracture went to Thunderhoof's door first, knowing he'd have to physically shake him. The mech could probably recharge through an attack! Fracture thought to himself. He waved his hand by the scanner on the door frame and it flashed green, before the door slid open. He put one of his hands on Thunderhoof's shoulders before roughly shaking him.
"What-the… Oh. Does Steeljaw want something else doing?" He asked, sitting up and stretching his arms up.
"He told me to come and get you; I didn't ask what for." Fracture told him. Thunderhoof grumbled something, it sounded like 'it's too early…' before answering.
"Tell him I'll be there in a moment." Thunderhoof sounded annoyed. Fracture decided he'd best not deal with him right now, and decided it was time to rouse Steeljaw. He bashed on the door and heard a whine come from inside.
"Who's there?" Fracture could have sworn he heard Steeljaw also say 'it's too early'.
"Me. It's time you were up, boss. I guess there's work to do." Fracture walked off; knowing Steeljaw would probably follow him in a few seconds; it didn't take him long to get up. Fracture quickly darted into the room and stood in the middle with the others.
"What was it that I needed doing…" Steeljaw muttered, rubbing his eyes with the backs of one of his hands.
"What's that above the door, boos?" Airazor asked innocently. Steeljaw looked up and saw the plant above the door.
"Have we got a plant growing through the roof? Or is this someone's idea of a joke?" Steeljaw growled.
"I'm not sure what kind of plant that is… Maybe a holly or a poinsettia?" Fracture lied; he knew exactly what the plant was.
"I don't need to know what it is, I need one of you to remove it; we can do without more of it growing in here!" Steeljaw shouted; they woke him up because of a plant growing through the roof!?
"Is that really what yous woke me up for, Steeljaw?" Thunderhoof asked, also looking up at the plant. The other five pack members were trying not to laugh now.
"Oh… I think that's a mistletoe plant!" Fracture remarked.
"Well, can you remove this mistletoe then?" Steeljaw asked, grumbling that he didn't need to know the plant was called.
"Not before you two do something." Fracture started to smirk; they really did have no idea.
"What?" Thunderhoof started to move forward.
"Yes, Fracture, what do we have to…?" Steeljaw was just going to move himself out from under the plant when,
"Don't move!" Divebomb shouted and both of them stood stock still, both of them still under the sprig above the door.
"Why? Are yous two mini-cons up to something?" Thunderhoof grumbled.
"You don't want to be cursed do you?" Underbite asked. Both of them sniggered.
"There's no such thing as curses, you superstitious fool!" Steeljaw smirked.
"This plant can put a curse on anyone. The curse this plant produces saps the charisma of the two under it for a whole year, unless they do something very specific." Fracture told them, trying desperately to keep a straight face.
"Why do I need…?" Steeljaw paused, now thinking about it.
"You'll need your charisma to be able to convince other Decepticons to join you, right?" Clampdown nervously added. Steeljaw growled in response and then asked.
"What must we do?" He grumbled, not sounding like he liked the sound of this.
"Kiss." Airazor told them. The looks on the faces of the pair of them almost cracked everyone up. Both of them had wide optics and open mouths.
"What?" Steeljaw shook himself; as if trying to deny he'd been surprised.
"You know, put your mouth plates to Thunderhoof's for at least 3 seconds." That should be long enough for me to get a picture of you two. Fracture thought, smirking. Steeljaw looked to be visibly considering it before turning to Thunderhoof.
"Come on." He growled out, before grabbing the mobster's antlers and dragging his head down.
"Yous sure about this Steeljaw?"
"We don't exactly have a choice…" He muttered in response before pressing his mouth plates to Thunderhoof's and closing his optics. Thunderhoof quickly copied, so neither of them noticed Fracture's optics flicker. Said mech had a rather smug grin on his face, knowing that would make the perfect blackmail image. Both of them leant their heads back at the same time and looked at the rest of the pack.
"You lot will wait there. Thunderhoof, help me get that plant down." Steeljaw still didn't look impressed; but Airazor and Divebomb could have both sworn they saw a very faint blush on both of the mechs' cheeks. Thunderhoof lifted his leader up and Steeljaw grabbed the plant. It didn't seem to come to his attention that it was stuck in place above the door.
"Now that that has been dealt with, I'm going on patrol. I'll be sure to get rid of this plant before I come back." Steeljaw stalked off out the door with that, leaving the rest of the pack behind.
"I'm going back to recharge." Thunderhoof turned around and walked off in the other direction. When they were sure that both of them were out of audio shot, the rest of the pack started laughing.
"Oh, Primus! Say you snapped that! I don't ever want them to be allowed to forget it!" Clampdown was laughing harder than the others; it was almost like retribution!
"Of course I did, what do you take me for; a half-bit protoform? That image is going to make the best blackmail picture ever!" Fracture was silently plotting where to hide several copies of the image, so the two in the picture would never find them all.
"I could have sworn both of them were blushing after that…" Divebomb whispered to Airazor.
"I'm sure I saw that too…" Airazor agreed.
"Clampdown, you owe me fifty credits." Underbite told him, perfectly serious.
"What?!"
"We made a bet before we went into recharge that if they did it, you'd give me fifty credits. If not I'd give those credits to you. You owe me fifty credits." Clampdown whined, reluctantly fishing out a credit chip with that exact amount on it.
"Well, I'll let the rest of you go do whatever. I'm going to go make a good few copies of that picture." Fracture headed off towards his room, with his mini-cons running quickly behind him. Clampdown and Underbite went back to their rooms to recharge; it really was too early in the morning.
AN: I think that will do. I wrote this on Christmas Day; between doing other things (like opening presents, having dinner, watching Doctor Who…). Well done to anyone who spots the G1 reference in there (I'll give you a hint, one of Steeljaw's pack says it). Merry Christmas to all, and I hoped you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!