Punk Rock Cafe
By 4Cream4
'Twas a gloomy-ish day in Mobias when Knuckles made the grave mistake of introducing Little Cream to punk rock.
"Raise your hands up and testify," the 6-year-old rabbit sang. "Your confession will be crucified / Your sacrificial suicide…"
"What've I done…?" Knuckles moaned, sinking to his knees.
"Well," Tails said, taking a bite of a chili dog. "From the looks of it, you've exposed a first grader to Green Day and the Dead Kennedys."
"And I'm about to punch a third grader," growled Knuckles, making Tails hide behind Sonic in fright.
"Well, this too shall pass," the Blue Blur said hopefully.
LATER, AT MOBIAS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL…
"Bam, bam, bam-bam! / I wanna be sedated!"
Tails could hear Cream all the way from his third-grade classroom, and she was distracting him from his drawings ("totally just blueprints, not pictures of [him] and Sonic on their awesome adventures").
The two-tailed fox groaned. "Make it stop, Mommy!"
EVEN LATER, AT THE RABBIT RESIDENCE…
"Hear the dogs howlin' out of key / To a hymn called 'Faith and Misery' (HEY!) / And bleed-"
An experienced man threw a shoe through the Rabbits' living room window.
"SHUDDUP!" he yelled. "I'M TRYIN' TO BE OLD AN' GROUCHY!"
OVER 9,000 PUNK SONGS LATER…
"HOW DO WE GET HER TO STOP SINGING!?" Silver yelled, plugging his ears in an attempt to block out Cream's high-pitched, first-grade rendition of "Check Yes Juliet" by We the Kings.
Deadpan-faced, Knuckles marched over to the 6-year-old and took his iPod out.
Cream looked dazed for a moment before blinking and focusing her big brown eyes on a nearby flower patch.
"Oooh, pretty flowers!" she chirped. "Come on, Cheese, let's pick flowers!"
"Chao chao!" her loyal pet chirped back, and he followed his owner to the patch.
Knuckles scowled at the three other males present before storming off, grumbling something about "music-hating squares".
Sonic also zipped off, awkwardly.
"My dad makes me clean our bathroom with a toothbrush," Silver said randomly, his yellow eyes glassy.
Tails face-palmed.
The end!
Songs used:
-"East J. Nowhere" by Green Day
-"I Wanna Be Sedated" by The Ramones
-"Holiday" by Green Day
-"Check Yes Juliet" by We the Kings