CURIOUS
He was curious. Unbelievably, undeniably, insatiably curious.
How one little boy could have so many questions in his head I would never know.
Every outing was an adventure, a chance to make new discoveries.
His frenetic energy for learning could be tiring for us mere mortals, the super computer that was his mind always working, always processing and cataloging every new experience.
I sometimes wonder how he didn't collapse in shear exhaustion, having spent his day running every which way trying to figure out the unknown elements of his universe.
No, he only seemed to gain more energy with every new finding. It was almost like he was drawing his energy from us, his family, because it seemed that with each question he asked we all seemed to sag a bit more from mental fatigue.
His father and brother couldn't keep up with him and sometimes shied away, retreating to their respective hiding spots, leaving the young child to me.
Not that I minded of course, he was a piece of my soul and I could never deny him.
It was quite the opposite in fact, I encouraged him and pointed out things he might not have seen or had accidentally passed by.
I gained back any energy I might have lost when I saw his eyes light up. The way they always did when those beautiful eyes landed on something new or when he finally was able to grasp the concept of how something worked.
I got up each morning wondering what my little one might ask me today and unlike my husband and eldest son, I always felt a small bit of excitement. What was I going to get to teach him today? I felt privileged that it was me he was coming to, that he trusted me to know all the answers. At the same time I felt a bit afraid. What if I didn't know the answer, what if I couldn't adequately explain something to him? I couldn't bear to see the disappointment in his eyes when he was unable to learn the answer to his question.
I think he only really felt that way when it was me who couldn't answer him. If his father or brother failed to supply him with the answer to his question, it was me he looked to.
How had I become the all-knowing guru? I stumbled along life's path just as much as anyone else, why was I expected to know all the answers to life's mysteries.
I suppose it was just another one of those titles placed upon me when I brought life into the world: mother, care-giver, and guru.
I never mind the questions though, even if I do hear: 'what is that?', 'how does it work?' 'what does it do?' twenty times a day. I just let any frustration I feel roll off me like water on a duck's back. And during those times when the stress is too much, I try and remember that one day my baby will be all grown up and he'll stop looking to his old mom for all the answers.
So for now I'll enjoy it. I'll answer each question to the best of my ability and I'll cherish every minute I spend trying to help my son gain a better understanding of whatever it is we are examining at the moment. Because I know one day my son's curiosity will benefit him and will help push him to achieve great things and at that time I can stand back and enjoy the feeling of knowing that it was with my help that he made that achievement.
Taura Callisto