Ok standard disclaimer I don't own the lexx or the guns & roses song I'm putting it to so don't sue me. This story takes place after Brizon and before the final confrontation with Mantrid.
When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darling when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
She grabs a hold of me as much for comfort as well as protection. Our existence threatened over and over by enemies beyond imagining. Once again we have managed, by a twist of fate to come out victorious. We lock eyes as she regains her footing, and for a second I feel...... No impossible I feel nothing. I back away and turn so as not to see the disappointment in xev's eyes.
Cause nothin' last forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle In the cold November rain
It's better this way eventually my protoblood will run out or we will die. Nothing lasts, neither life nor death. The memories of my past start flashing in my mind the people I killed the lives they had. The ultimate irony of the universe that a creature like me should go on existing when these people with such potential don't. I remember what it was once like to love and feel but the memory is not good enough to bring the real feelings back.
We've been through this such long time
Just tryin'to kill the pain
My mind drifts to more pleasant thoughts of when I joined the crew of the Lexx.
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today walking away
Over the years xev has her fair share of men that would gladly take her I just don't understand why she would wait for the impossible.
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I coud rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
Then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain
" Kai." She says breaking my thoughts.
" Yes, Xev."
" Well, seeing as the universe and more than likely us, are about to end. I just wanted to let you know how much I've enjoyed knowing you. You brought meaning into my life before you and the lexx came along the only thing I had to look forward to was death you made me want to live, and.... I love you Kai more than words can say" she breaks into sobs and turns away. I reach out stopping her, and I pull her into my arms and hold her tight.
Do you need some time on your own
Do you need some time all alone
Everybody needs some time on their own
Don't you know you need some time all alone
That flicker again of something..... something my mind grasps at but most often fades quickly. I fear to move or think as it may flee before I can name it. Not just a memory of a feeling but an actual feeling. I can't deny it any longer but it breaks all logic.
I know It's hard to keep and open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you
I feel as if my heart is being ripped apart it's been frozen so long that the tiniest crack would be sheer torture I gasp in pain and xev looks up.
" Kai! Are you all right?" She says frightened.
Sometimes I need some time on my own
Sometimes I need some time all alone
Everybody needs some time on their own
Don't you know you needs some time all alone
I have to get away to think I don't understand this emotion overwhelming me. The thoughts of leaving Xev's side makes me hesitate but I must sort this out.
And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
Cause nothin'lasts forever
Even cold November rain
After an hour or so I hear xev come in.
" Kai, I'm sorry if I said something wrong or.... she breaks off looking at me helplessly.
" No, it wasn't your fault, or then again I suppose it is but not in the way you mean." I say and give a slight chuckle. She looks at me quizzically.
" Kai did you just....." I smile at Xev and walk over to her. I put my arms around her and look into her eyes.
" I love you too Xev." I say and kiss her with the passion that has eluded me the last 2,ooo years. Until we collapse in each other's arms.
Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one