Okay, here we go i guess. Please take into acount that i am half-french, and i learned all my englsih from reading and speaking with my family, so there may be a bit of mistakes and sentece that may sound weird, i do apologize for that. If you could point them out to me, you would be adorable, and i thank you very much :D

I do really hope this gets some reviews, becase it would help me grow into a better writter and since i probably want to publish something later on, i seriously need all the advice i cant get. even if the critic is bad i don't care, there is always something to learn from it.

Whatever, just, enjoy ;D

"He is going to need some rest Alex. Amanda crushed his hand" Said Nikita in a serious tone. The young woman though to herself for a minute before making eye contact with her mentor again.

"Then let me stay with him. I'll take care of him" Nikita hesitated. Not because of the good will Alex was acting with, but something seemed off with the young woman lately.

"It's Birkhoff, other than an energy drink, a computer and video games I doubt he will actually need you" Alex giggled a bit at Nikita's try at a joke. Sure, it was definitely not the right moment, time or circumstances. But Birkhoff will after all, always be Birkhoff. And even Amanda couldn't change that.

"No matter what happens, you will always go back for him; won't you?" Nikita felt she hit the soft spot. For a moment, Alex just stood there, her mouth open in an O shape before she started sobbing. Warm salty tears invaded her eyes and for a second, the worst thoughts crossed her mind.

"He's going to be ok? Right? He will get through this?" She almost yelled between her sobs. Nikita didn't say a thing and just moved out of the door frame. Alex walked in with, little, shy steps; she glanced around the room and there he was. She was afraid to think it, but he looked dead. His face was pale, a gauntness had installed itself on his already rather small and thin body and big bruises were still visible even after the two weeks he spent resting here after they had rescued him. What if he never recovered? What if.. Amanda broke him? From the inside? Alex shook her head, trying to wipe away all the bad outcomes that might occur and painted a reassuring smile on her lips as she walked towards the man. He was sitting on the couch, his eyes staring through the big living-room glass window. Alex sat at his right, and just accompanied him, fixing the same point as he was. A leaf. She threw a glance at him to see if he was reacting to anything. But no, nothing. He looked empty. She stared at him for a minute, and since he didn't move, nor speak, she decided to just stay by him, in silence.

After an hour, Alex grew fed up of the silence treatment Birkhoff was giving her. She was useless. And most probably, her being next to him didn't help at all. It may even make everything worse. She sighed heavily before beginning to get up. She was stopped in her movement by a hand, gripping tightly her forearm. She turned toward the broken man, and for the first time since he got back, they made eye contact. The pain and sadness she was in his eyes shot her. She saw awful things in her life, but never she saw someone as broken as the small man was today. Her eyes started burning up as she sat down again, very slowly, not letting Birkhoff out of her sight. He opened his mouth but he was out of voice. His throat was entirely dry, and his throat hurt more than he ever remembered it did. Alex gestured to him not to speak and got up. She walked to the fridge, took a can of Fueler© and brought it back to the couch. She handed it to the engineer with a little smile and he drank it. They crossed eyes again, and through all the pain and sadness, Alex saw a little spark, lighting up again. She had missed that light, oh how much she had missed his smirk, jokes and insults. Birkhoff then turned his face away, and resumed staring blankly through the window. Alex bit her lip. She had gotten her hopes up too fast. Birkhoff was still far from recovery. And maybe he will never entirely recover. On the verge of losing it, she stood up hastily and ran out of the room. In a movement of despair, she let herself fall on the floor and started crying.

Nikita walked past the young woman's room and heard her sob continuously. She frowned, worried of what was causing Alex's sadness. She tried opening the bedroom's door, but as she saw it was locked and not moving an inch, she went downstairs and entered the big living-room. Birkhoff was still there, right where Alex left him, still staring at his window. Nikita sighed and approached him softly.

"Hey nerd" She could have sworn she saw him twitch at the sound of his nickname. "What happened with Alex?" Birkhoff stayed silent for a moment more, before motioning that nothing actually happened. "I know her Birkhoff, she's strong, she doesn't cry for nothing." Nikita insisted, placing herself in front of the man's vision. They stayed like this, staring at each other for a couple minutes until, with a weak, crumbling voice, Birkhoff whispered : "I need time" Nikita softened her gaze and sat down in front of him. She took his hand in hers and stroke at a comforting pace. "Just… Don't be too long. For Alex." She said. She gave him one last smile of encouragement, got up again and left the room.

Memories stormed in Birkhoff already tired mind. He remembered every second with her. From the very first day she got to Division as a recruit. The day she half annoyed him by saying he was intelligent would always be his favorite.

"Thanks again for helping me with that phone hack"

"What? … Whatever"

"The workaround you figured out is genius"

"Yeah, yeah. I am very brilliant. Now move."

He will always remember. This was their actual first ever real conversation that lasted more than two sentences. And he had to admit, being called a genius was always something good to hear from a girl. From anyone actually, it was good to hear. A half smile came shyly on his lips for a few seconds. Their time at division together had been pretty harsh, but in a way, he always enjoyed her company. His heart twinged when he remembered 'Mission Oculus'

"Your assignment is… Dustin Zimmer" He bend forward towards the screen and stared at the young man's picture. "This website is going to spit you out as a match."

"How do I know he will get in touch with me?" Alex asked, frowning Birkhoff glared at here. He sized here up before turning his head back to his computer. "Please" He muttered. He couldn't see it, but Alex's lips stretched into a smile, and she chuckled a little bit.

He remembered every single word they exchanged. He cherished every smile she offered him. He moved from his sitting position so his could lie down. A wild and bitter pain came crawling in his back and he just fell flat on the pillows. He groaned before turning on his side and closing his eyes. A few moments later, he was asleep.

After a few days of total silence again, Birkhoff disappeared. Alex walked in the living room, but it was empty. She gasped for air as she felt herself panic. He never left this room. Never. She what happened to him? She began running around the house, yelling his name. Without even realizing it, she started tearing up again. She wiped her cheeks clean and ignored the cold feeling of water on her fingers. Nikita and Michael out for the day on a mission made it impossible for her to ask for help. Drifting through the corridors, she opened every door she came across and searched every corner for the man. Her pulse war rising fast as she realized she hadn't found him anywhere but looked everywhere. Out of breath she stopped in the big living room again, and, desperate, stared at the spot where he was usually sitting. As if looking hard enough was going to make him come back, appear magically right before her eyes, and everything would be okay. But she had lost him… In a last attempt, she opened the door leading to this floor's bathroom and glanced inside. It was dark, a humid breeze came out as the air battled to get out of the little room and she felt it rub against her face, drying up instantly the tears that had rolled on her cheeks again. For some odd reason, the light wasn't working, and after trying a few times to switch it on, Alex abandoned her crusade for the light and just stared in the dark, to let her eyes adapt to the lighting. She stressed up, thinking her eyes weren't working fast enough and concentrated even more on what she was looking at. After a few seconds, she could finally see it. Lying on the floor, motionless. Her stomach turned ad she covered her mouth with her hand and exhaled loudly. She shrieked and threw herself next to him.

"BIRKHOFF!" She shouted, shaking him to wake him up. Seeing no reaction for the body, she looked around in hope of finding the reason of his collapse. A few feet away, after scavenging through the room, she saw a small plastic bottle. She reached for it and brought it up to her eyes.

"Morphine" She whispered as she read the little white information paper. She panicked. If even it was humanly possible to be more panicked then she already was. She ran back to the kitchen and mixed a small bit of water with vinegar and lemon juice. "This should do the trick" she muttered before going back to the bathroom. She lifted Birkhoff's head and sat behind him to maintain him up. She hastily opened his mouth and forced him to drink the beverage. She waited a few seconds, which seemed like an eternity for her, hoping he would open his eyes, gasp for help and come back to her. Suddenly, he started coughing and bent over to try to catch his breath. He reached for the sink and threw up the content of his stomach in a growl. Alex came behind him, relieved as she could ever be, put a comforting hand on his shoulder and helped him. After he calmed down, he turned and faced the young lady.

"I hate lemon" He spat out of anger.

"I know" Answered Alex with a very relieved tone. She half smiled at the small man, even if he was still taller than her, and got closer to him. She hesitated a second that hugged him. Birkhoff, surprised and token out of his comfort zone, just stood there, not sure what to do. Then, finally, with shaky hands, he closed his arms behind her back and rested his head on her shoulder.

Well, i definitely hope you liked it, i will, of course, do many more chapter, no worries. if a few of you could give me a review, i woul dbe delighted, but if you don't, just... Whatever, you don't absolutely have to, but it'll be nice if you do :D